Problem on Set!
by QuEen0fs0ng
Summary: Natori has a problem. He's in love with Natsume. To releive stress Natori plunges into work as an actor Natsume/Natori New Chapter Up! Warning: some cross-dressing and cursing
1. Chapter 1

**_Oh look! Another Natsume Yujincho fic. I can't help it. I really like this series and I am so excited a third season is coming out. Who's with me? Anyway, most of the time, while writing these fics I like to focus on a part of a character's personality that a lot of people seem to over look and in this case it's the fact that Natori is an actor. And I thought that I should give him the spotlight when he gets the spotlight, you know? anyway this is going to turn into a romancey fic where Natsume and Natori get together just to warn you nay-sayers out there that say this can never happen. But it definitely will happen! It's the reality of the non-reality if you know what I mean._**

**_Anyway enjoy the first chapter!_**

Natori had a problem… And it wasn't just a problem. It was a big big problem. Natori never really liked admitting defeat but that never stopped foresight and insight from telling him that it was absolutely doomed to failure.

Under normal circumstances this wouldn't be such a problem. But these circumstances that Natori has to face made a problem over something that was supposed to make him happy and skip through fields of flowers and stuff like that.

And what makes people happy and skip through fields of flowers and stuff like that? Why, love of course.

He would never ever admit this to anybody, but the feelings that he had for Natsume could never hope to be described in words. Because there would never be a semblance of syllables in this language or another that could possibly describe to a stranger of passion exactly how Natori felt, he could never express it to anyone else. Every time he saw the young boy all of his other senses dimmed and gave him fantastical illusions of clichés.

He would almost swear that he heard the angelic chimes of bells whenever Natsume looked at him, that he could fly and walk on clouds whenever Natsume gave him a shy smile, that he could smell the sweet fragrance of flowers whenever… Natori stopped. Was he really being this sentimental? He attributed this to the fact that he was reading too many Shakespeare romances lately and made himself a mental note to stop.

But no matter how Natori felt or even how cliché it was, Natori wouldn't be able to approach Natsume with the intent of making him his. Circumstances being what they are, Natori would be quite certain that he would never be able to do that.

But there were only three! Only three circumstances that reduced Natori to this hopeless state.

These three circumstances were as follows:

Circumstance 1. Natsume was not in the least bit attracted to him he was pretty sure (at least the same way Natori was attracted to Natsume). And he had observations that supported this thesis. Example: Natsume never swooned when Natori gave him his sexy-famous-actor smile. IT ALWAYS MADE THE LADIES SWOON BUT NOT NATSUME! And Example two: Natsume always made it clear how disgusted he was whenever Natori used youkai as "tools" to help him with his exorcisms.

Circumstance 2. That fat cat thing was always around Natsume and would never give Natori any time alone with Natsume for even a split second. Even that time he caught Natsume with his paper dolls, Nyanko-sensei had been there not too long after and had "saved" Natsume from him.

Circumstance 3. Probably the worst circumstance of them all because it was nothing that he could change immediately and that he would have to wait until it was no longer a problem… Natsume was still underage. If it was leaked out to the press that he was dating a minor, his career would be ruined, Touko would never let Natori inside the house ever again, and Natsume would probably hate him too. Not to mention all of the tabloids calling him a homosexual pedophile and having to face possible indictment because it's against the law for him to date someone under 18…

And for the first time in his life, he had no idea what to do. If he tried to pursue Natsume a number of things that are very unpleasant could possibly happen and he didn't know if he could deal with any of those things.

And as for not pursuing him…

Natori can affirm that he's an actor in every sense of the word; it's what he loves to do. And he'd be damned if he wasn't a helluva good one. But each actor has a breaking point. There is a part that they can only do so often before they just can't do it anymore. In Natori's case, it was the part of a big brother to Natsume.

For an actor, it's more difficult to under-play an emotion that they are feeling then over-play an emotion that they aren't feeling. Natori had such a desire to be with Natsume that he didn't know how long he could go pretending that there was nothing but platonic love for him.

He was afraid that one of these days he was just going to snap, pin the poor unsuspecting boy up to a wall and indulge himself in Natsume's oh-so kissable lips.

He felt like he needed a break. A break from exorcism, a break from youkai, even a break from Natsume.

There was an audition coming up for a romance type movie and since he already knew the casting director from previous commercials and shows he's worked on, he was pretty sure he was gaurenteed a part. If not just a part then the lead part.

Natori felt that this would be a great reprieve from life in general.

Natoir sighed. _Right, gotta go audition…_

**_Yay first chapter done! so tell me what you think. leave a review and I will be eternally grateful to you and yours for all of time! XD *kisses*_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hey guys! Second chapter! A little more happens this chapter than Natori angsting over his supposedly unrequited love for Natsume. We actually get to see him act a little bit. I really like acting and am hopefully going to study theater so this was a fun chapter to write because instead of putting what actually happens in the scene I put in the actor's thinking process (like what the character wants and what they hope to achieve by doing a specific action) behind the actions and the technical term for that is motivation. That's why you hear the stereotypical temperamental actor ask, "Well what's my motivation?" to the director all the time in like cartoons and stuff. Anyway, hope you enjoy it! _**

_A street scene. A busy sidewalk. Have to get to my part time job as a florist. Bump into her. The most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She's dropped her cell phone. I should pick it up for her. Reach out. She reached out a half second after I did. Our hands touch. We look at each other. She looks away, embarrassed. Could she like me too?_

"_Please excuse me. I wasn't looking where I was going."_

_Smile. "Quite alright, miss. I wasn't really paying attention myself."_

"_Well, goodbye." But with a promise to see each other again. And…_

"Cut!" the director, Osamu Endo, shouted. The rest of the crew clapped at a job well done. Finally the first scene is done. Natori sighed to himself. While being a florist was an interesting occupation, he wouldn't have cast himself as one. But, hey, work was work.

The director walked over to Natori and clapped a big meaty hand on his shoulder. "Great work, Natori. I knew you'd be perfect for this part."

Natori gave him a smile and says, "Thanks. It's quite an interesting story."

And interesting it was to say the least. Rin, played by Natori, is a florist in the bustling city of Tokyo. He meets by complete chance Kyoko, played by the beautiful but temperamental award-winning actress Yukiko Sato. The two meet a couple of more times and Rin eventually asks Kyoko to be his girlfriend. But sometime later Rin finds the yakuza after him and discovers that Kyoko is the daughter of a terrifying yakuza boss. Thus hilarity and drama ensue as Rin and Kyoko try to flee from her blood-thirsty father and as they become closer in their beautiful romantic relationship.

The director laughed. "Interesting, huh? Didn't know you liked stupid chick flicks, Natori!" Endo lets out another guffaw.

Natori laughs good-naturedly with him, "Says the man who's directing stupid chick flicks."

Endo looks at Natori and says, "Touché."

Suddenly from somewhere off set they hear the scream of a crazed woman. "SOMEONE BRING ICED TEA TO MY TRAILER! NOOOWW!"

Endo sighed. "The shit I put up with to get numbers at the box office. If she didn't have such a pretty face, I doubt she would've gotten to the point she is now."

Natori nodded in agreement. Yukiko was incredibly beautiful with blonde hair, pale skin, and brown eyes but the woman turned into a raving screeching harpy as soon as she doesn't get her way. And that happened quite a lot.

And the worst part of it was that something about her reminded him of Natsume. Not her personality, no Natsume was a saint and compared to him Yukiko was the spawn of Satan, but some of her physical features reminded him of Natsume. They practically had the same face except her cheekbones were set a little higher than Natsume's and their noses were fairly similar except Natsume's was a little rounder and hers was a little more narrow.

Then Natori stopped. He tried to derail this train of thought because he knew exactly where it was going to pull into. The ALL-I-CAN-EVER-THINK-ABOUT-IS-NATSUME-AND-HOW-CUTE-HE-IS-AND-HOW-MUCH-I-MISS-HIM-RIGHT-NOW-AND-OH-HOW-I-WISH-WE-COULD-BE-TOGETHER-FOR-NOW-AND-ALWAYS-BUT-WE-CAN'T-BECAUSE-OF-THOSE-THREE-GODFORSAKEN-CIRCUMSTANCES station.

He faintly heard the director trying to get the crew and Miss Yukiko on set for the next scene. He shook his head and tried to loosen up his body. If his memory of the script was correct then this next scene was going to have a whole lot of stunts in it.

It was one of the first of many scenes where some yakuza would be chasing after both Rin and Kyoko meanwhile tripping and falling into a myriad of things like lakes, pot holes and even the cliché falling off a building onto a tarp over a fruit stand and then falling through the tarp into the fruit stand.

And Natori would like to remind the folks at home to not attempt the things he's about to do unless you're an experienced stuntman and you have an experienced film and special effects crew near you.

He was brought out of his musings by a screech. Everyone turned in the direction of Yukiko's trailer. And from where the set was they could see various objects being thrown through the air, like perfume bottles, hair dryers, and even Yukiko's small Pomeranian puppy Julio.

After a while, Endo wandered back over to the set as if he'd just witnessed a gory battle between two sides that were equally brutal. Natori asked, "Endo, what the hell's going on? What is she complaining about now?"

Endo looked white as a sheet as he turned to Natori and said, "She said she refuses to do stunts because it wasn't in the job description. She said that she was hired to be an actress and nothing else. God, what am I going to do?"

Natori couldn't believe this. He said, "If she was that worried about not doing stunts, shouldn't she already have a stunt double as a part of her support crew? I mean she's filthy rich as it is."

The director shook his head solemnly, "She said she fired her last double and it's been hard finding someone else who looks like her and can still perform the stunts."

Natori looked at the director and said, "What are we going to do?"

Endo scratched the back of his head in defeat. "Unless we get someone who looks like Yukiko, can perform the stunts _and_put up with her, then we might have to cancel the shooting…"

**_Oh no cliff hanger! Hmmm but I wonder who they could POSSIBLY want as Yukiko's double. Someone who looks like her... Someone who can perform stunts, like running and falling into the darndest things and can put up with really irritating people... well that would have to be someone who is a really nice person who oh I don't know goes out of their way to help people on a daily basis... and quite POSSIBLY someone whose a little girly? maybe has been called girly in the past? hmm I wonder..._**

**_Oh and I just noticed I added some OC's. weird I try to stay away from that in fanfictions... but I don't think any of the people Natori works with in his acting job had names or personalities so I'm just filling in the blanks! Yeah that sounds good. Anyway review please tell me everything you loved everything you hated and everything I can do to make this story better. *kisses*_**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Finally, chapter three is done. It took awhile I know but hey it's a long chapter so you guys'll have more things to sink your teeth into. So in this chapter Natsume finally makes an appearance. sort of. his voice makes an appearance? i guess that sounds better. Anyway enjoy!_**

Natori stared at the phone. Day had turned into night as Natori contemplated the phone and the enigma that it seemed to hold for him.

Over dinner, Endo and Natori had been discussing possible doubles for Yukiko that they could call up at a moment's notice. But all of the ones they called were either busy, had already worked for Yukiko and had gotten fired or had immediately hung up upon hearing the actress's name.

And at a dead end, they almost gave up. However, both the director and actor had underestimated Natori's genius. Or at least in Natori's mind, UTTER STUPIDITY!

He couldn't even remember how it was brought up in conversation but Natori had mentioned something about Natsume and how he bared a striking resemblance to Yukiko. The director had immediately told Natori to call him up despite the fact Natsume was a guy.

And now after hours of Endo begging him to make the call, Natori was alone in his hotel room just staring at the telephone.

He didn't want to do this. He really didn't. But, then again, Natori was smart enough to know that there was a small part of him chanting _Do it do it do it do it do it! _Over and over again in his head.

On the one hand, Natori missed Natsume terribly and even just to hear his voice would be solace for his wounding soul. But on the other hand, those three problems that led to him leaving that led to his current problem were still problems and they weren't going away. And Natori couldn't help but hurt even a little whenever he thought about the blonde golden-eyed boy, not to mention all of the strange contradicting emotions that would swirl around inside him from talking to the young boy.

He had thought briefly of asking Endo to call Natsume since he was the director and in charge of the whole production. But then he just as quickly dismissed the thought on the grounds that Natsume would more than likely get mad at Natori for even mentioning his name in a context like this without his permission.

He also wished he would've brought at least Hiiragi along so that he could've sent her to ask Natsume for him. But at the same time that would've made him look like a coward in not just Hiiragi's eyes but Natsume's too.

So if anyone had to call Natsume up without Natori experiencing the boy's instantaneous rage then Natori was the one to do it.

He was still staring at the phone as if any second it would sprout wings or start talking to him. And since reality didn't work that way, passers-by were left with the impression that Natori was dreading calling someone.

The actor reached out, grabbed the phone and quicker than ripping off a band-aid dialed the Fujiwaras home phone number. It rang. Then it rang again. Each second that passed by was a new chance that Natsume would hear the phone ring and answer. Natori didn't know if he liked or disliked this idea. It rang again. Natori was about to resign himself to the idea that no one was home and he'd save this torture/salvation for another day when he heard someone pick up and answer the phone.

"Hello? Fujiwara residence." It was Touko.

Natori sighed internally, whether from relief or disappointment no one could say. Natori than adapted the sweetest tone he could possibly muster and replied, "Hello, Touko-san. This is Natori Shuichi speaking." He heard Touko gasp. He continued, "Would Natsume possibly be around? I'd like to speak with him."

He could practically feel Touko beaming at him through the telephone.

"Why, yes of course! Let me get him for you!"

Natori's heartbeat quickened. Natsume was home and in a little while he'd here his voice for the first time in so long. But he was supposed to be here doing acting work to get his mind off of Natsume not to get sucked back into his whole melodrama again.

"Hello? Natori-san?"

Upon hearing that voice, Natori threw the idea of getting his mind off of Natsume to the farthest reaches of his mind. All that mattered to him right there and then was to bask in the glorious happiness he experienced upon hearing that golden haired boy speak.

"Natsume, how are you? How've you been?"

Natori could barely keep his voice from shaking and if he hadn't returned to the practice of acting and controlling the body so recently he thought his voice would probably have portrayed a bit of weakness. Just a bit.

"Oh, I'm alright. Just, you know, the usual."

Any actor can read between the lines, Natori was no exception.

"The usual, huh? What happened? Have youkai been bothering you again?"

Natori couldn't fathom why or how Natsume kept getting into these situations with ayakashi. Was there just something about him that attracted all of these spirits to him? Maybe the poor good-natured boy felt that somehow ayakashi were like humans so he should help them. That was probably it.

"Well they weren't really bothering me."

Natori got the impression that Natsume was smiling that nervous smile of his. The same smile he used when he was trying to shrug off something big because he didn't want to burden people. Natori hated when he did that.

"It was just one ayakashi and somehow she'd gotten herself stuck at the bottom of a well. I offered her some help getting out but she said she was fine and the only thing she wanted was an apple from an orchard by a shrine that was nearby. Apparently she and a friend of hers had spent a lot of time there picking apples so Nyanko-sensei and I went to the orchard and started picking apples."

Natori could tell there was more to the story. There was something that had to do with Natsume getting hurt that the boy wasn't telling him.

Natori sighed. "Alright, Natsume. As long as you're okay."

"I'm fine. I don't understand why you worry so much."

_Because you constantly make ignorant mistakes? Because sometimes I'm afraid you can't use that incredible power that you have to protect yourself against youkai that could hurt you? Because you're so trusting and thoughtful and selfless you'd sooner throw yourself into danger than see someone else suffer? Because I'm incredibly hopelessly haplessly madly and insanely in love with you so I can't help but worry?_

While all of the above reasons were true, in the wrong context they could sound creepy. So Natori settled with "Because I care about you, Natsume. I just don't want you to get hurt."

There was a pause.

"Y-yeah? W-well, you don't-you don't have to worry about me."

Natori smiled. He always thought it was a good sign whenever he could make Natsume stutter, even the tiniest bit (he couldn't tell you why).

"Anyway, Natori-san, is there a special reason you called me? Aren't you in the middle of shooting a big movie or something?"

"Oh yeah. Well, you see, Natsume, the thing is… I was wondering if…" Natori searched for just the right way to say this without having the younger boy freak out on him.

"Yeah?" came Natsume's voice from the other end.

Natori figured that he should just say it, "I was wondering if you would be at all interested in being a stunt double?"

Another pause.

"A stunt double? Really? But shouldn't you guys already have all that stuff taken care of before you start shooting?"

_Tell that to our award-winning lead actress,_ Natori thought. "Yeah well, we didn't exactly know going into shooting that this particular person would need a double. We just assumed she'd have one as a part of her support cre-"

"Wait, did you just say 'she'?"

_Crap, it slipped out. _

"Well, yeah. She's a girl. But you two look so much alike it's uncanny."

"Yeah. I don't think so."

Natori was originally going to withhold the piece of information that he'd be doubling for a girl until after he had enough time to warm Natsume up to the idea. Now that he flat out rejected the idea there was only one last tactic left. Begging and appealing to Natsume's sense of generosity. Natori was quite sure he was going to hate himself later for taking advantage of sweet Natsume but these were desperate times.

"Natsume, please. Please do this. We've called practically every female double we can think of and no one can take the job. And I'm not lying when I say this actress looks like exactly like you."

"Na-Natori-san, listen, I-I'd like to help but…but…"

"And not only do you look like her, you can do all of the stunts. Most of the stunts would involve running, jumping and climbing and you do all of that on a close-to-regular basis. Please, Natsume, you'd be really helping me out."

"But, wouldn't I have to dress up like her? L-like dress like a girl?"

"…"

Natori hadn't thought of that. Not that he had a cross-dressing fetish or anything (definitely not), but the idea of seeing Natsume in a dress seemed strangely appealing. And it seemed too good to pass up just because of (what seemed to be at the moment) three minor bumps in the road. He continued his argument with renewed vigor.

"Oh come on, Natsume please. It's not like anyone would find out that you were the actress's double."

"Except the crew and you and the director, right?"

Natori didn't like it when Natsume used sarcasm. He felt like he was losing and he scrambled for anything to get Natsume to go back to even considering the idea. He said the first thing that came to mind.

"Please, Natsume, do this…for me?"

And there was once again a pause. Natori would've given anything at that moment to see what Natsume's expression was.

Then he heard the most angelic noise to every grace his ears.

Natsume said, "Alright."

**_lolz. i can't believe I'm going to make one of my favorite characters dress in drag. AND BE TOTALLY FINE WITH IT! haha. oh well since this one was kind of late I'll start working on the next chapter right away and hopefully will be up within the week for all of you out there who're dying to know what happens next... well I'll give you a clue: it has to do with lip gloss. :D (whatever that means, right?) Anyway tell me what you think! Reviews are actually smoochie love muffins in disguise! *kisses*_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hi everyone! another chapter. and sorry this one is kind of late too. but don't worry I'll definitely get back on track... at some point... Anyway another reason for sorryness, this chapter has no cross-dressing Natsume either but don't worry because as soon as I get to it you won't be able to handle all of the cross-dressing mishaps that go on. Anyway enjoy this chapter anyway!_**

Endo stared at Natori. "He actually said yes?"

The actor scowled. "Yes. Is that really so surprising?" If Endo hadn't thought Natsume would say yes, why did the director beg (practically on his knees begging) for Natori to call Natsume?

Endo laughed. "Well, yeah, unless he's into that sort of thing." Endo laughed louder at his own joke and Natori failed to see the humor. _It's not like it's a bad thing to be into cross-dressing…not that I am or anything._

"Well you got yourself a double so you should be a happy director right about now. Not to mention that you won't be dealing with Yukiko for half the scenes and be working with someone else who can take direction pretty well."

Endo's laughter dialed down to chuckles and said, "Exactly. I haven't felt this relieved in ages. Well, we'll book him a plane and get his ass the hell over here. We're already behind schedule as it is."

He then turned to Natori with a very serious expression. "But y'know I just thought of something. Who's going to do his makeup? We can't have your makeup artist or Yukiko's makeup artist work on him because they'll be working on you guys."

_Make-up…?_ Natori despite his best efforts felt something trickle down his nose. He immediately covered his nose with his hand and looked at Endo. _I DID NOT just have a nose bleed thinking about Natsume in makeup in front of the director._

But it was too late. Endo had seen it and (despite what his wife says) he is an intelligent man who can pick up on cues. Endo erupted into cackles and said, "Well, Natori it seems like YOU'RE into that sort of thing." He continued to laugh. "or… you're just into that KID!" He laughed even harder as if it were the most absurd thing in the world.

Natori smiled and allowed himself a chuckle too. He said, "You have no idea…"

He got up and said, "I'll call him and let him know all the logistics…"

Turned toward the door and left a dumbfounded director to ponder over what he just said.

::::::::::::::::

Natsume sighed and sat on top of his suitcase. He never knew packing for a few months would be so difficult. But he supposed part of it had to do with his busted up wrist. He looked at his gauze-wrapped hand and sighed. He thought rather ironically that he had a penchant for getting into trouble. Speaking of trouble; he wondered for about the billionth time that night just why he had agreed to do this.

He went through the whole conversation on the phone again in his head. Apparently it had something to do with Natori because he only gave in when the actor had asked him, "Please, Natsume, do this…for me?"

Just thinking about it made his mind go reeling. Of all the things that Natori could've said that would convince him to say yes, it had to be something stupid and trivial like that. _I wonder if there's something wrong with me,_ Natsume thought with just a touch of bitter humor.

There was a knock on his bedroom door.

He looked up and called, "Come in!"

Touko opened the door and carried in a tray with watermelon on it. She looked around the room, "Are you all done packing, Takeshi?"

Natsume smiled at her and said, "Yes, I am. It took awhile though."

Touko reflected her own smile back to Natsume. "I thought you'd like a snack after packing for so long so I brought you some watermelon. Oh, and the kitty can have some too."

Natsume thought it was rather funny whenever Touko or Shigeru called Nyanko-sensei a "kitty" because he knew how angry he got being compared to one. And as if on cue, the same chubby cat waddled over with a very sour-puss expression on his face.

Touko beamed at the small creature and said, "Would you like some watermelon too, kitty?"

Nyanko-sensei didn't even grace that with an answer and just gave her a look that said, "Are you kidding me? Do you even have to ask?"

Touko seemed to understand the demon perfectly and said with a giggle, "Of course, how silly of me. Of course you'd like some."

She set a piece down for Nyanko-sensei and watched him eat. Then she looked over at Natsume who was eating his own piece of watermelon in quiet contemplation.

"Takeshi…" she started. Natsume looked up at her waiting for her to continue. "Are you sure you still want to do this? I mean, I'm sure they take every precaution and I know Natori-san wouldn't put you in any unnecessary danger" In that same moment Natsume made some sort of sound. It couldn't have been a scoff…was it? "but I can't help but worry that you might get hurt doing all of those stunts."

Natsume smiled reassuringly at her. "Touko-san, you don't have to worry. Natori-san says that all of the crew that's working on the film have lots of years of experience doing this stuff and I promise I'll do my best to not get hurt either."

Touko smiled at the blonde boy. "Alright, Takeshi, I trust you. But if you come back here with even just the tiniest of scratches both you and Natori-san are going to get a piece of my mind!"

Natsume chuckled a little bit. He liked the idea that someone would care enough about him to scold him… if that made sense.

Touko turned toward the door as she said, "Well, get some rest, Takeshi. You're going to have a big day tomorrow and you should be fresh and ready to go when it comes."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied.

Touko gave him one last smile and left the room.

"Hey, Nyanko-sensei?" Natsume said.

"What?" the ayakashi replied in between bites.

Natsume hesitated for a little bit before he said, "Do you think this is some kind of trick by Natori-san to help him with an exorcism or something like that? Or is this really just a big movie production that he wants me to be a part of?"

"Think whatever you want," Nyanko-sensei replied in a non-committal sort of way, "but I wouldn't trust him fully either."

Natsume did think that the actor was a little untrustworthy but he had heard about the movie they were making and that part of it had to be true. And he reasoned that since Natori valued humans over youkai that he wouldn't put the crew, the director, or any of the other actors in danger just so he could do an exorcism.

"I think we'll be able to trust him," the boy told Nyanko-sensei.

The cat looked up at Natsume and said, "Alright, but make sure you think that because there's a reason to trust him and not because you just want to."

"Why would I just want to trust him?" Natsume asked. Nyanko-sensei was being oddly vague.

"Because you're attracted to him."

_WHAT? _Natsume was screaming in his head. "Th-that's ridiculous. I mean, I can't possibly – I mean it's just weird that – "

Nyanko-sensei looked at the boy incredulously. "Why is it so ridiculous? He can see youkai just like you. Of course you'd be attracted to a human like that since not many humans can connect with you on that deep a level."

"Oh, well if you put it that way it isn't so ridiculous." Natsume sighed. _So that's what Nyanko-sensei meant. That I would just be drawn to that kind of person. Of course that's what he meant. Why would I think of something as crazy as being attracted to Natori-san in __that__ type of way…_

"Well in any case, Nyanko-sensei, I think you should stay behind. I'm sure not many ayakashi will hang around a movie set," Natsume said.

Nyanko-sensei looked angrily at him and said, "And who made you the boss? You don't have to order me around. I am the great Madara! No one can tell me what to do!"

Natsume scowled at the youkai and said, "What do you mean the great Madara? All I see is a big fat cat."

Nyanko-sensei fumed, "Fool! You will not address me like that! I could eat you now and the Book of Friends would be mine!"

Natsume scoffed. "Fine. Do whatever you want. I'm going to bed."

_**Hey so that's it for the fourth chapter! it was a whole lot of nothing I know but I thought I'd put in a chapter that Natsume had to himself. And of course I had to plant the "I like Natori more than a friend" seed of thinking inside of his head so that it can grow during the rest of the story. **_

_**So review please! I like it when people do review! Oh and if you would like to see Natsume in a certain type of outfit if anyone would have any specific ideas feel free to leave a comment about that and I will be sure to try and include them in the upcoming chapters! *kisses***_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Hey guys! I just wanted to thank you all again for following the story and supporting it and giving me really nice reviews! I know I'm really behind but real life kind of happened and I have to deal with reality before I deal with fiction. So this is a short chapter I know but hopefully you guys will find it chalk full of goodness that will sustain you until I post next. Anyway enjoy Chapter 5!_**

Days later, Natori was at the airport anxiously awaiting the arrival of his laddy-love. While he was looking oh-so-dramatically among the waves of people that flooded out of the terminal for his beloved, it would've seemed to people that maybe this person was being a bit too dramatic. Unless you were looking on the outside then he would've appeared dramatic perhaps a bit overly so. However meeting the boy you have a slightly creepy crush for in an airport when you haven't seen him in awhile only to drive him back to an awaiting set so that Mimi, the very kind-hearted and incredibly easy to make upset make-up artist, will be able to make him look like a woman would cause most other people to either act dramatically or drastically. Lucky for everyone at the airport, Natori chose the former.

But alas, the second that Natori first spotted Natsume in the terminal came and went like a hearbeat. Natori signaled for the boy to come toward him with a dazzling smile and a wave of the hand.

Natsume's eyes were drawn to the movement and recognized the actor and with a bright smile of his own made his way over to Natori.

And Natori with a keen eye for observation could tell at a distance that Natsume was carrying his luggage with his left hand. For anyone else, this tidbit of information wouldn't hold any cause for alarm. But to Natori, who knew Natsume was right-handed, this caused a few warning signs to go off in his head. However, the actor would be damned if he let Natsume know just how worried he got about him so his angelic smile stayed in place.

When Natsume finally reached Natori, he said, "Natori-san, it's good to see you again." And Natsume gave him a smile that would've made his knees buckle if he wasn't so strong-willed.

Natori returned the smile and said, "It's good to see you too, Natsume." He gave the boy a once-over just to make sure he was still as unharmed and immaculate as he had left him. However his eyes stopped at an offending bandage wrapped around Natsume's perfect right wrist. _So,_ Natori thought,_ that's why he was using his left hand._

"Natsume?" he asked with all of the cool composure in his being.

"Yes?"

"What happened to your wrist?" Natori allowed himself a frown of concern. But because he was afraid to give any more indication of just how worried he really was, he steeled himself from giving anymore emotion away through his facial expressions.

"Oh! Well, I… well remember when I told you about the ayakashi who had wanted an apple from an orchard?"

Natori sighed knowing where this was going. "Yes," he said as an indication for Natsume to continue.

"Well, I reached too far for one and ended up falling and spraining my wrist a little." Natsume then looked as if he just realized something. "Oh! But you don't have to worry about me. I can still do the stuntman job you have for me. It's just a sprain. I'm really fine. Really."

Natori sighed. _This kid just doesn't get it, does he? How dense can one kid be?_

"Natsume, I'm not worried about whether you can do the job or not. I'm worried about **you.**"

Natsume looked toward the ground and mumbled something. Natori couldn't understand what he said and decided not to push it. He said, "Come on, Natsume. Let's get you to the studio so you can get ready."

Natsume looked up at him with just enough pink in his cheeks to make Natori almost want to throw caution to the wind and jump the boy right then and there. Natsume said, "Do I really have to dress up like a girl?"

Natori smiled but left just enough wickedness to seep in as he said, "Yep. And not just any girl. The girliest girl in all film history! She never wears shorts or pants but always wears frilly fru-fru dresses and skirts. Oh and not to mention the pretty shoes that she wears and the make-up."

Natsume covered his face with his hands and said, "You're really not helping, Natori-san."

The actor looked at the boy with a small trace of remorse for his teasing. So he put his hand on the boy's head because it was the only means of tangible physical comfort he trusted himself with and said, "It won't be that bad, Natsume, I promise."

Natsume removed his hands from his face and met Natori's eyes and said with an expression that was slightly a scowl but all forms of adorable, "You better keep your promise."

Natori couldn't contain his chuckle. _I can't help myself around him. He's so gosh-darned cute._

"My dear Natsume, don't I always keep my promises?"

But even if he doesn't, Natori was sure going to enjoy the next month of shooting.

**_Wow. So short. Anyway I'm still taking suggestions for outfits for Natsume. And I PROMISE the next chapter will have Natsume in some sort of feminine clothing. _**

**_So review for me please! I know you guys are out there. I can feel you wanting to click on the review link and give me a review. And I'm telling you that you shouldn't be afraid to review. Reviews are actually our friends. They help writers like me become better. Or stay awesome. Whichever it is the reviews tell us to do. 3 3_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Oh wow. This is so late I can't even begin to tell you guys how sorry I am. I was at the beach all last week and didn't really give myself to write everything that I wanted to. Oh well, I hope it's worth the wait. And since some of you were saying the last chapter was so short I decided to make this one extra long and have a whole lot of stuff happen. I think you guys'll get a kick out of what'll happen towards the end. Anyway, enjoy!_**

They arrived at the studio and the whole cast and crew was abuzz with excitement to meet the self-sacrificing boy who would brave the temporary loss of his masculinity to save all of their jobs. They all huddled around the unassuming boy and began a chorus of "thank you"s and "glad to have you with us" and "please do your best".

Natsume was completely overwhelmed by everyone bombarding him with gratitude and good-natured friendliness. But he gave them all the warmest smile he could and tried to take in everybody's words with as good a grace as he could muster.

Natori smiled as he watched Natsume. _There's that nervous smile of his again,_ he thought. He knew how much Natsume hated standing out and even getting as much attention as this seemed to be too much for the golden-haired boy. Natori just didn't understand it.

Wanting to be an actor since childhood, Natori knew he would have to stand out sometimes. And he never minded it in the least. Girls (and some guys) had fawned over him since puberty and he'd loved every second of it.

And was he the only one who sought out the spotlight? No, of course not. If he were to liken life with the stage, then everyone would seem to want to be the lead in life. They want life to focus on them and they want life to give them a happy ending much like plays and movies do for the main character. And everyone wanted to stand out and not just be an extra. That is everyone except for Natsume.

Natsume seemed content and even happy to be in the background. He never searched for the spotlight and even seemed to run away from it when the chance presented itself to him.

And as Natori stood there looking at this young pale boy that he'd fallen head over heels for, he wondered about the reason. Maybe he knew that in each story, the main character would have to brave hardships and experience pain in order to get to the happy ending. And Natsume just didn't want to deal with the hardships and chose to be content with where he was. But Natori thought that that reason was too selfish to be attributed to Natsume.

So maybe, Natsume knew that for each lead there were at least ten times more extras so therefore not everyone would get that happy ending. And Natsume would rather see someone else get that ending instead of him.

And as Natori looked at the nervous young boy, he knew that that was the reason. He was both happy and saddened by it.

Then he thought, _I'll be damned if Natsume doesn't get his happy ending, if I can help it._

::::::::::::::

"So, here's our little drag queen now, eh?"

Upon hearing that Natori was ready to punch Endo in the face. But that wouldn't fit in with the calm and always cool persona he put up to impress Natsume. So instead he chuckled and said, "Endo, don't harass our poor little stuntman any more than needed. He might just run away on us."

The director lit a cigarette and laughed. "You're right, Natori. Sorry about that uhh…?"

Natsume quickly reintroduced himself. "It's Natsume. Natsume Takeshi."

"Right. Well then Natsume, you think you're up for a bit of shootin today? Or would you like to rest a bit and save it for tomorrow?"

Natsume looked Endo in the eye and said, "I'm up for shooting whenever you need me."

Endo returned Natsume's gaze and laughed, "That's what I like to hear. Natori, get our Little Missy over to Mimi to have him all dolled up. We start shooting in half an hour… on second thought make it an hour. We still need to convince Yukiko to get back on set."

Natori smiled at the director and said, "You got it."

As they were heading over to Natsume's trailer, which Natori had made sure was just Natsume's and no one else's, Natori noticed that there was a flicker of apprehension in Natsume's eyes.

"Natsume," he said at length, "you're really okay with this, aren't you? I don't want you to feel pressured into this."

Natsume looked up at Natori with an expression that Natori couldn't help but detect the smallest traces of annoyance. "I'm fine. Besides even if I wasn't, it can't be helped now, can it? I mean, I already said I'd do it and I can't just back out at the last second."

Natori smiled. _Same old selfless Natsume._

"I guess you're right," the actor said. "What kind of person would you be if you did just back out at the last second?"

They reached the trailer where they met up with Mimi, in all her nervous glory. Natori swore the girl was shaking like a leaf when they came closer.

"H-hello. Umm… which one of you is uhh… Natsume-kun?"

Natsume stepped forward and gave her a smile. "That's me."

The girl blushed. "Oh. Hello. My-my name i-is Mimi. Nice to meet you. Umm… I'm going to- going to be you're make-up artist and-and stylist today. So w-won't you please step in the trailer and-and we'll get started."

Natori looked between the two and couldn't tell which one was more nervous.

"Um, alright." Natsume started to make his way in.

Natori decided to give the young boy some encouragement. "I'll be right out here if you need anything."

Natsume turned around and gave him a nervous smile and said, "Okay. Thanks."

:::::::::::::::

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T PUT MAKEUP ON HIM?" Endo was just about ready to explode.

It had been about two hours after Natsume went into the trailer, and Mimi had come out with a guilty expression on her face and said she couldn't do it.

Mimi was at least trying to defend herself. "But, he looked so-so nervous and-and I d-didn't want to force him to do something he didn't-didn't want to do. What if he hated me for it?"

"GAAAHHH! NATORI! I don't care what the hell you do, but do something so that kid'll get makeup on and get his girly ass onto the set in less than fifteen minutes. AND I MEAN NOW!" Natori was pretty sure Endo was going to give himself an ulcer by the time they finished shooting.

Natori just gave him a reassuring smile and said, "Of course, my dear director. Anything at all." And proceeded to go inside the trailer, assess the damage and come up with an appropriate solution.

Upon entering the trailer, there were a lot of things he noticed like how Natsume was sitting near a vanity looking at all types of mascara, foundation, and eyeshadow as if they were the spawn of Satan, and how there were racks of dresses far in the corner that had one hanger without anything on it, and Natsume was wearing a dressing robe.

But one thing that did stick out in his mind was that Natsume's was wearing very pretty strappy type sandals upon both feet. Each sandal had a pink semblance of clothe that looked like a flower and was placed right below where the foot meets the ankle. And Natsume's toes were painted a pretty pink.

And for just a moment, Natori forgot about where he was and what he was doing and all he could remember were those cute pink sandals on Natsume's feet.

But the actor quickly recovered from his momentary loss of reason, and cleared his throat so Natsume would know he was there.

He said, "Natsume, are you getting cold feet on me?"

Natsume turned toward Natori with his arms crossed over his chest. "N-no. I'm not. It's just…"

Natori knew Natsume wouldn't finish that sentence. Natsume never wanted to put himself in a place before anyone else and anything he would finish that sentence with would be entirely selfish at least in Natsume's eyes.

He sighed. Natsume would never back down from something he felt he was obligated to do but that didn't keep him from feeling really really uncomfortable about it. So the only thing Natori could do was try and get Natsume to feel less uncomfortable about putting on makeup.

_But how?_

"Natsume…" Natori eventually ventured. Natsume looked up at him with those big golden cat-like eyes. Natori practically melted into them until he reminded himself that he should save romance for another day. "Makeup's not all that bad. I mean girl's wear it all the time and it doesn't hurt them."

Those eyes that Natori adored flashed briefly but dangerously with annoyance as if to say, "But I'm NOT A GIRL!"

Natori tried to continue with conviction, "But you know, if given the chance I'm sure a lot of male actors would jump at the chance to cross-dress."

Natori was awarded with the pleasant sight of Natsume blushing slightly with eyes wide and mouth agape. But then that expression melted into quiet irritable disbelief.

Natori put his hands up in a defensive position and said, "No, really I'm serious. For actors, we always want to be better at our craft, to push our talent as far as we can go and stretch our imagination as far as it can reach. Playing a character of the opposite gender is a very rare opportunity for some actors. Even I would jump at the chance to play a female role just to see if I could play the part well."

Natsume seemed to be taking in what he had said with a little more openness but still seemed a little guarded to the idea. Then the boy looked up at Natori and said, "Then you would put on makeup?"

_What is that expression on his face?_ Natori thought. It looked rather conflicted actually. He was blushing the tiniest bit and looked like he was either about to laugh or about to throw up.

Natori felt rather conflicted about Natsume's obviously conflicting emotions. But he hid it with a smile and said, "Yes, I would."

Then an idea struck him. _And it might just be crazy enough to work…_

He reached toward the vanity with all of the shapes and colors of containers of cosmetics and picked up the nearest thing he could reach. He really wasn't paying attention to what he was grabbing but was quite interested on seeing what Natsume's reaction would be.

At the moment Natsume's eyes followed Natori's hand rather warily but didn't make a sound.

Natori picked up something that felt smooth, plastic and cylindrical in shape. _Good enough,_ he thought.

He finally took his eyes off Natsume as realization dawned on that perfect pale face. _So he's not quite as dense as I thought. Good._

He looked at what he now held in his hand. It was lipstick. The color was Champagne Rose.

_Women give the strangest names to colors for their makeup. And I will never understand it. _

And saying a final farewell to masculinity, he opened the small container and twisted it until the stick of rouge showed itself. Then he applied it directly to his lips until they shone with a pale pink sheen.

He looked at Natsume and smiled.

Natsume looked at him dumbstruck. Natori had sent him for a loop, and the actor was loving every second of it. However Natori's plan hadn't produced the desired effect. But maybe it was just because Natori had miscalculated the shock value. Given enough time, Natsume could warm up to it yet.

So Natori reached again but this time with the purpose of getting mascara.

As soon as the cosmetic was retrieved, Natori scooted right beside Natsume, faced the mirror and began applying the mascara to his eyelashes.

Silence… but then…

A laugh.

Natsume was laughing?

It didn't seem at all possible. Natori had never heard Natsume laugh before. It wasn't necessarily a musical laugh like how Natori imagined it to be. It was more along the lines of being just plain goofy.

There were sharp and frequent breaks between giggles when he inhaled. And generally when one thinks of hearing laughter, there's a steady increase in pitch. But Natsume's laugh didn't seem to follow that pattern and jumped from pitch to pitch without any rhyme or reason at all.

And Natori couldn't get enough of it.

He play-acted female annoyance to the best of his ability as he asked, "And just what is so funny, Natsume-kun?" in the highest falsetto he could.

The beautiful gurgley laugh seemed to just erupt from the small boy. He was gasping and trying to form coherent syllables. "Na-Natori-san… what-what are you doing?"

Natori couldn't help but break character and laugh along with Natsume. He wanted to hear Natsume laugh like this all the time.

He decided to continue to explore his new-found inner female character and made up a whole back-story for her. And proceeded to share with Natsume. Still with his falsetto voice, he began, "'Natori-san'? Who is this Natori-san? I am Kimiko. But you can call me Kimi-chan."

By this point Natsume was holding on to his sides because he was laughing so hard. "Natori-san. Stop! That voice is ridiculous. And-And the makeup!"

Natori could barely contain the joy he felt from the bottom of his heart that 1) Natsume was laughing (and quite heartily at that) and 2) that he was the cause of Natsume laughing so hard. But he didn't want Natsume to stop laughing just yet. So he continued in Kimi-chan-mode. "What? What do you mean my voice is ridiculous? This is my normal speaking voice. And for the last time, it's Kimi-chan to you!"

Natsume let out a few more giggles and looked at Natori. "Oh please forgive me Kimi-chan. You just look a lot like this person I know."

Natori' heart jumped to the moon and back. _He's actually playing along? God, no wonder I'm in love._

::::::::::::::::::

A half an hour had passed since Natori had gone in to convince Natsume to put make up on and they still hadn't come out. While waiting with the entire cast and crew outside, Endo had smoked through an entire pack of cigarettes and was working on his second when he heard hysterical laughter and noises as if someone or maybe even two people were running around in the trailer.

"What the hell's going on in there?"

Endo quickly made for the door of the trailer and when he opened it to look inside he saw the strangest sight in the world.

The boy Natsume was running around laughing wildly in his pink and girly sandals. And what really threw Endo for a loop was that his lead actor was chasing the boy with makeup on his own face and saying really weird things to the boy in a high and ridiculous falsetto.

"Natori-san! St-Stop!" the boy shrieked with laughter.

"But Natsume-kun don't you think I'm pretty? Tell me I look pretty, Natsume-kun!"

"THE HELL'S GOING ON IN HERE!"

Both the actor and the boy stopped dead in their tracks. They looked like they realized how strange they looked and probably felt a bit awkward. _Good,_ Endo thought.

"Now," Endo began, "Did Little Miss Sunshine get over his fear of eye shadow so we can start shooting already?"

Natori and Natsume exchanged glances and something unspoken passed between the two.

Then they both smiled at each other like they were giggling about some inside joke that was only funny to them. Then at length Natsume said, "Yeah, I'm ready."

"GOOD! MIMI GET THE HELL IN THERE AND WORK YOUR MAGIC AND I WANT EVERYONE ON THE GODDAMN SET IN FIFTEEN GODDAMN MINUTES!"

Everyone nodded and busied themselves or at least looked like they were being busy so that Endo didn't explode and blow them all to kingdom come.

**_yes that's right. I made Natori put on make up. But it's true about male actors wanting to cross dress. I don't know what it is about it but I think they get some sick glee from it. But heaven knows if I ever had the chance to play a male part I would totally do it. Especially if it was something like the Joker or King Lear...*sigh* _**

**_Anyway please review. oh and thank you for everyone who has been reviewing and supporting this fic. Lord knows I probably wouldn't write without you guys. _**


	7. Chapter 7

**_OH MY GOD! CHAPTER SEVEN? FOR REAL? I didn't think I'd make it this long. Normally I like short sweet and to the point but I don't even know when I'll be done writing this. But it's okay, because when you make things longer there's more character development and less random sexy time with strangers... which is okay once in awhile. Just not for me._**

**_Anyway thank you so much everyone who has been submitting feedback and reviews and stuff. you guys really keep me from giving up on this story... So please enjoy this chapter!_**

After all of the preparations for the set had been complete, everyone stood outside of Natsume's trailer waiting with bated breath. But every one of them would agree that Mimi, although a bit eccentric, was the best at her craft. She could even make an old crotchety spinster look like a runway model for the latest styles in women's fashion.

However one among them was nervous for a whole different kind of reason.

Natori stood among the crowd half hoping and half dreading that Natsume would come out and look gorgeous. In the back of his mind, he knew Natsume would be gorgeous because he had a makeup artist like Mimi. However, he didn't know if he could handle that.

Natori DID NOT have a cross-dressing fetish (repeat, DID NOT!) but he still got a tingly feeling in his lower (lower) stomach whenever he pictured Natsume's perfect slim feet in those adorable pink sandals. And he really couldn't guess at how he would react when he saw Natsume in the whole outfit with skirt, makeup and everything.

Actually he could guess. And the result was unbridled sexual-tension-releasing mayhem. He could only pray that Mimi wouldn't make Natsume that cute… or at least cuter than he already was.

However the moment of truth arrived when Mimi appeared wiping sweat off of her forehead and declaring, "I'm all done."

She turned toward the door and said, "Natsume-kun, you can come out now."

Everyone held their breath as the door slowly opened. Natori felt his pulse quicken in anticipation. He refrained from showing any of that anticipation on his face for fear someone might see and question his taste in eye-candy.

A few more moments passed by and then Natsume appeared in the doorway.

There's a sound of a collective in-take of breath as the whole cast and crew marvel at Mimi's handiwork. Half the crew was convinced that if you put Yukiko and Natsume to stand right beside each other and then tell someone to pick out the real Yukiko that no one would be able to do it because the resemblance was so similar. The other half of the crew wouldn't have gone as far to say that but still conceded that they did look strikingly similar.

And for Natori…

They looked exactly alike.

Mimi had fashioned a wig of long blonde hair that was the exact same color and length of Yukiko's own hair. She had even gone so far as to get Natsume fitted with a bra filled with… something so as to create some sort of shape to the boy's otherwise un-shapely frame.

And Natori had to sigh in relief. Natsume looked so unlike himself that his hormones couldn't even register that he was in love with the currently cross-dressing boy.

He went up to the boy and said, "How're you feeling,Natsume? Or should I say Yukiko-chan?"

The boy turned his head and replied, "I'm still trying to get used to all of this makeup and girl clothes and stuff… but I guess you're right. All things considered, it's not that bad. I mean, I think I've went through worse."

Natori smiled. "Good. Now let's get on set before Endo castrates all of us."

Everyone nodded knowing full well that their easily-angered and anal-retentive director would do just that.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

And thus begins a show down between the two Yukikoes…except one doesn't seem to be lit by the same fires of rivalry as the other one did. However their greeting was nice enough… sort of.

"OH! Is this NATSUME-KUUN? It's so nice to meet you. You look EXACTLY LIKE ME! I knew Mimi was talented but I didn't know she was so talented that she could make a BOY LIKE YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL LIKE ME!"

"Oh, it's nice to meet you too. Uh, yeah I was a little surprised too at how I look. Uh, Mimi did do a great job."

"She SURE DID! I mean, LOOK AT YOU! You're a regular PRINCESS, aren't you?"

"Um… I guess."

"AND LOOK AT YOUR HANDS! They're PERFECTLY MANICURED. I sure wish I HAD SOFT HANDS LIKE YOU."

"Thanks…?"

Soon after that, Endo couldn't stand Yukiko's screeching any longer and demanded everyone to take their places so they could finally get started shooting.

First there was a cute little scene between Rin and Kyoko. Then the big bad yakuza guys come and chase them into a river. Luckily one of the big bad yakuza is scared of water (upon this discovery the audience should laugh, haha) and thus they cease the chase and would continue another day.

First was the cute scene between Rin and Kyoko. They had already shot most of it but Endo was still a little unhappy about how Kyoko and Rin were being portrayed. He thought the two were being too melodramatic and wanted both actors to tone it down to a more realistic portrayal (even though everything else about this story is ridiculous).

Endo shouted, "Places!" The crew, the cast and the extras took their respective spots. Natori was briefly going over his lines in his head while he waited for Endo to say action. And he briefly glanced at dolled-up Natsume sitting in a fold up chair behind the camera men. He could see from Natsume's facial expression that he was a tiny bit nervous.

Natori couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the boy and promised himself that he'd make it up to Natsume for putting the shy and collected boy through this. _One way or another,_ he thought.

He heard Endo shout, "ACTION!" and immediately dropped all thought of everything except his character's thoughts.

_Kyoko turned to look at me. She's conflicted…about something. I wish she'd tell me what it is. I'll try to get her to tell me._

"_Kyoko, is there something bothering you?"_

_She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear then does it again. She's nervous about something. I want her to tell me what this is all about._

_She says, "Rin, you're so sweet to me. You're handsome and hardworking and I can't help but feel like maybe what's best for both of us isn't necessarily anything that we want…"_

_She trails off. I don't understand what she's trying to say._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Well…" she begins, "I think that I could fall for you…but sometimes life gives you some situations or circumstances where things just can't work out. No matter how hard you try and-"_

_I don't want to hear anymore. So I cut her off by pulling her into an embrace. _

_I want her to understand how I feel._

"_Kyoko, when life gives me circumstances I don't like, I change them. I try my hardest to change them because I don't let go of anything without a fight."_

_I pull her away to look her straight in the eye. She __**needs**__ to understand this._

"_Kyoko…" I grasp her hand in an attempt to get her to better understand what I'm saying. "Please don't forget that I will never stop fighting… for you."_

"And…CUT! Nice job, Natori. Spot on. Yukiko, much better. Totally less melodramatic." Yukiko huffed as if she'd been insulted.

"Alright next is the chase scene. Princess, you're up!"

Natsume made to move then hesitated. He actually had answered to Princess? Now he knew his masculinity was as good as dead and buried.

Natori chuckled and motioned Natsume to be right beside him. So Natsume walked over in cute pink sandals and stood next to the actor. He was practically shaking like a leaf he was so nervous. Natsume was staring doe-eyed at the cameras as if they would just turn into monsters any second and devour him.

But… then again that wasn't the right analogy was it? Because Natsume had faced plenty of monsters before. And some of them had even tried to eat him. Yet Natsume never seemed to back down or get extremely scared like he was now. In fact, if Natori were to be so bold, Natsume actually seemed a bit brasher in those types of situations.

Natori thought briefly that it was strange seeing the boy so frightened of cameras and yet could look the scariest and ugliest youkai in the eye and not even flinch. _I guess it's true that acting and putting yourself out there for other people to see is a whole different type of bravery, _the actor thought.

Then Natsume looked up and caught Natori's eye. Natori could practically feel Natsume silently asking for comfort. But since Natsume would never openly ask for anything, (if he really needed it) he would leave tiny hints or suggestions. Little things that could either be ignored or acted upon.

Natori couldn't pat Natsume's head like he normally did. That would mess up the wig that Mimi worked so hard to make and possibly the illusion that Natsume wasn't Natsume and was just Yukiko's stunt double. So instead Natori gave Natsume a sly wink. He normally found that winking did calm most people down and no one could tell you why.

Golden eyes widened and were suddenly cast down. Natori couldn't see Natsume's whole face but he could see a tiny smile creep across the boy's lips.

And upon seeing that Natori couldn't help but let a small bit of fuzzy warmness bloom from his chest.

In the very very very VERY back of his mind, he was telling himself that Endo and the stunt coordinator were talking and he should probably listen.

"…and so therefore we're going to start right after the bad guys show up. Natsume, we don't need a whole lot out of you acting-wise. Just do your best to look at least a little scared. Okay?"

Natsume nodded. "Okay."

The stunt coordinator then explained the route and briefly the stunts that Natsume and Natori were to perform. Running, running running, then when they reach the rock right there, look like you fall, get up stumble, Natori grab Natsume's arm, stumble into river. Simple enough.

Endo asked everyone one more time, "Okay everybody good?"

Everyone answered, "Yes!"

"Good. Places everyone!"

And before Endo said action, Natori grabbed a hold of Natsume's hand. And in answer to Natsume's questioning, cute, and slightly flustered expression, Natori said, "Because, the last scene with me and Yukiko I was holding her hand."

But really that was an excuse. It wasn't in the original screenplay. Natori had added it on the off-chance Endo might have liked it enough to keep it. And thankfully he did.

The real reason was actually a lot simpler. When you love someone, you just want to be close to them.

**_Soooooo? What did you think? I also want to ask you guys a question. Do you guys like the scene scenes? Like with Natori acting and stuff? Because I like them but if I'm the only one who does I can totally not write anymore of them and just focus more on Natsume and Natori. But if you guys do like them then I will totally keep writing them. And sort of make them parallel what's actually going on in the story with Natori and Natsume. I tried to do that a little here. And if that didn't work for you guys either you can tell me too._**

**_So anyway review it flame it do whatever it is you guys do. But y'know it's always nice to here feedback. So that I know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong._**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Hi everoybody! Ohmygosh I actually uploaded within a week! It must be a sign of the apocalypse! Everybody run! _**

**_But anyway, thank you for everyone who has submitted your very nice reviews and your guys's input helps me a lot. so here's Chapter 8 in all it's glory. Please enjoy!_**

Natsume sighed as he flopped down on the hotel bed. It had been a long couple hours of shooting. And now he knew that Natori wasn't kidding when he had told Natsume that directors are perfectionists and when they don't get their way you would be better off opening Pandora's box.

Endo had made Natori and Natsume do that one scene about 20 different times. And that wasn't including the times when he stopped shooting to make them practice the stunt choreography. It had been exhausting and all Natsume wanted to do right now was to finally go to sleep.

However he heard his hotel room door open then shut. Then a quick intake of breath. Natsume looked and saw none other than Natori standing near the door with a very surprised look on his face.

"Natsume? What… are you doing here?"

Natsume was quite surprised himself. He didn't think he'd have to room with the actor but due to how tired and worn-out he felt, he didn't feel like worrying about it and said, "This is my room. And I guess it's yours too?"

Natori seemed to have recovered enough from his shock to put on a smile and say, "Yeah…" After a pause, Natori seemed to think of something and said, "I'm going to call Endo."

The actor whipped out his cellphone and began dialing. Then he went back into the hallway.

Natsume wondered why he needed to call Endo. It wasn't like they hadn't roomed together before. They roomed together at the hot springs. And hell, they had even seen each other naked.

But at that thought, the boy felt his face grow hot and he suddenly felt really embarrassed. _But why?_

He then heard something shuffle from the corner of his room. Natsume looked in that direction and saw that there was only his bag in the corner. He looked at it for a while then saw it move but this time instead of a shuffling sound he heard muffled murmuring.

Natsume sighed and decided to investigate. He walked over to his bag opened it and was met with (at this point) an unsurprising sight.

"Nyanko-sensei, didn't I tell you to stay behind?"

The cat demon shot the boy an extremely annoyed glare from his place in Natsume's bag.

He replied, "Fool, where I go or what I do is none of your concern. However, where you go and what you do are of my upmost concern. What if you were eaten while you were away and they found the Book of Friends?"

Natsume sighed. "Fine. You can stay but make sure you keep out of sight, okay? The director could kill me if he found out you're here."

Nyanko-sensei hopped out of the bag and surveyed the room. "Yes yes. I'll be sure to be careful. Now," he began to roam around the room in exploration. "where are the snacks?"

Natsume couldn't help but laugh a little bit. _Once a cat always a cat_. He made his way back over to the bed and flopped down face first on the bed, ready to get some sleep.

Then the boy once again heard the door open and looked to see Natori coming in through the door. He looked tired as well but still had that flawless smile plastered on his face. Natsume never liked that smile. It always seemed like the actor was hiding something big behind that smile.

Natori caught Natsume's eyes and said, "I'll be going to bed then. We both had a long tough day so we should both get some well-deserved rest."

But then Natori started to make for Natsume's bed then looked like he remembered something and began to walk to the other side of the room with the other bed. And for a brief, tiny, insignificant millisecond Natsume had seen Natori blush.

Was the actor nervous? Or embarrassed?

But just as quickly as it had appeared the blush disappeared and Natsume was left to wonder what that had been all about. What could he have possibly been thinking about?

But then again, he could never tell what the actor was really thinking.

_I guess that's what actors are supposed to do. They're supposed to disguise their own thoughts with a mask of someone who doesn't even exist, _he thought. Then he sighed. _How convenient for him._

Natsume thought the way Natori treated him was strange. Well, okay, that's not exactly fair. Natori had never really treated him strangely: anything too out of the ordinary. It was just strange within the context of what Natsume thought their relationship was.

Natsume thought that they were friends and even Natori had dubbed their relationship before as "friends." But Natsume had seen how real friends interact. He'd seen how Nishimura and Kitamoto act around each other. Even in his own experiences with Taki and Tanuma, he could declare without a doubt that the aforementioned were his friends.

But could he really use that term to describe what Natori was to him?

Sure, they did what any friend would do for one another like protecting each other from harm and Natsume always felt that in his own way Natori had always done his best to comfort him. But it was really the how that confused Natsume.

How Natori comforted him.

When Nishimura gets down on himself because of bad grades, Kitamoto would always come in and comfort him albeit in an unorthodox way. Namely slapping Nishimura on the back and telling him it's unbecoming for a young man to have such a scowl on his face. They'd get into a mini-fight but by the end of it they'd both be laughing their heads off at each other.

But Natori's method of comfort is a bit different and more intimate.

It would always involve some kind of physical contact and it was never brief. It seems that Natori's favorite type of comfort was patting the boy's head. Natsume had always thought that it was comforting and would always cheer up a bit whenever the actor chose to administer such forms of affection.

Natsume thought that this wasn't exactly how friends comfort each other. So maybe it was something more? Something that would allow something like a pat on the head? If anything he thought it might be more of a brotherly type of relationship. So maybe it was more like that?

But then sometimes Natori would cup his hands on Natsume's face. Did brothers do that kind of stuff with each other? He didn't think so. And he definitely knew that brothers didn't wink at each other…

So what could it possibly mean?

"Oh god!"

Natsume looked up and saw Natori staring at something on the floor with a slightly surprised expression.

"What is it, Natori-san?"

The actor turned his head toward Natsume and said, "You brought kitty with you?"

Nyanko-sensei hated that and didn't keep his feelings bottled up inside. "Who're you calling 'kitty' you filthy human?"

Natsume couldn't surpress a snicker. "I didn't bring him so much as he's a stowaway."

Natori's expression changed for a brief second. He looked disappointed, maybe. Or disheartened. Natsume didn't have time to register what emotion it was before Natori replaced the expression with another one of his trademark smiles and said, "I see. Well, just make sure he keeps himself away from Endo. Heaven only knows what kind of hell will be unleashed if he catches kitty here."

"Okay."

Natori got into his bed pulled the covers up to his chin and said, "Good night, Natsume. Good job today."

Natsume replied rather quickly, "Th-thank you. Good night." He just as quickly turned off the light and laid down in bed.

Natsume's heart was beating rapidly. He didn't know why. Is it because Natori gave him a compliment? But if that was the case then he was pretty sure their relationship wasn't just a brotherly one. That it had to be something more…

:::::::::::::::::::::::

Lying in the darkness, Natori was cursing his luck, his fate, God Himself even for everything that had happened within the last couple of minutes.

First after a long hard day of shooting, Natori had come back to his hotel room to the secret love of his life who he's been pining for for ages sprawled out on the hotel bed that NATORI had been sleeping in for the past couple of weeks.

And with that cute sleepy expression, he'd just about lost all of his discretion. It was practically like Natsume was giving himself to Natori freely and willingly. But then truth with its ungodly strength sent him reeling telling him that this could never happen in a million years.

How the hell had Natsume been put in his hotel room without his knowledge? He had decided to call Endo and ask him about it. Since he was in charge of most everything, he was also in charge of where people stayed in the hotel. And unless he was mistaken, everyone was supposed to get their own room.

Endo had laughed at that, the goddamn bastard, and said, "Well, I figured it'd be too late to book another room for him and I figured since you two get along **SO WELL** I thought that maybe you two would like to spend some nice **quality** time together. And besides, Natori shouldn't you be thanking me? I mean wasn't it you yourself who told me that you had a thing for him? Now's the perfect chance to get that stick outta your ass and get your dick in his ass, am I right?"

Natori had explained to the director with a very heated and very colorful argument that he was "SO FUCKING WRONG!"

But the little shit had just laughed and hung up.

Natori had had to wait a few minutes to compose himself after that until he could go back in and face Natsume. He had been so angry at the director he felt like punching the nearest thing. Even as he laid awake in bed thinking about it, rage was boiling up inside him. But after calming down, he didn't want Natsume to think anything was up so he just put on his mask of smiles and genuine happiness and had gone back inside.

Natori had to once again face Natsume. Cute, darling little Natsume spread out on his bed practically begging him to kiss and hold and touch the boy until morning came. He'd even almost gotten into bed with Natsume until reality once again reminded him that Natsume wasn't and could never be his. And could you blame him, I mean with Natsume's darling rear just perfectly displayed for anyone to see? Natori thinking back on it had blamed this lapse in judgment on sleep-deprivation and his extreme tiredness.

But as he laid there in the dark, he wondered if maybe at one point he really would snap and lose all self-control.

He turned around in bed in the direction of where Natsume was sleeping. In the dark he couldn't see much. He could just make out the outline of the boy.

And he could hear Natsume's even sleepy breathing. In and out.

He wished with all his might that he would one day be able to join his Natsume in bed. So that he could kiss him tenderly and as many times as he wanted to. So that he could feel Natsume breathe against him instead of just hearing it. So that he could wrap his arms around Natsume and protect him from anything that would go bump in the night.

He suddenly heard a quiet short and breathy snore escape from Natsume. It made Natori jump a little but after the initial shock Natori thought it was just about the cutest thing in the world.

Natsume continued to make that adorable little snoring sound periodically for quite awhile.

Natori took great comfort in that small sound. And after awhile he began to think that this was better than being alone in a hotel room. He reasoned that right now it didn't really matter whether he could make Natsume his or not. He was just perfectly happy that he could be so close to Natsume to witness unguarded and wonderful moments like this.

And after a while, Natori drifted off to the sound of Natsume's breathing and slight snoring lulling him to sleep.

**_So there it is! aren't you happy that we get to see Natsume's take on things instead of just Natori's? But then I had to switch it over to Natori's pov at the end because it was important that you get his take of what happened too. Because Natori is actually kind of a creep._**

**_And once again I need your guys's help with something. Should the next chapter be more like this chapter or should I go back to shooting the scenes scenes? Tell me what you think. Leave a review and I'll love you forever! *kisses*_**


	9. Chapter 9

**_...uh... hey guys! long time no see...? Okay okay, I'm sorry so you can put down your pitchforks now. I was having a few hell weeks these last couple of weeks and couldn't really get around to writing that much. Work kills me so much I'm dead. And I wanted to make this chapter really good for you guys. Oh and a little shout out to I. Eat. Bishie's because you were darling enough to gave me the idea to add an element of jealousy to Natsume's confusion. So Bravo!_**

**_And also Bravo for you darlings that gave me feedback and reviews! I hope that you all enjoy this chapter because I wrote it with all of you in mind! So without further adieu, please enjoy Chapter 9!_**

Natsume looked up and sighed. It was the next morning and once again he was made to put on about a gallon of foundation and about three-quarters of a pound of eye-shadow, mascara, and lipstick… each. And shooting had just begun. This scene didn't have a whole lot of Yukiko in it. They'd share a semi-intimate moment where Kyoko would get flustered and (cue cross-dressing Natsume) run off. The camera would focus in on Rin as he had an internal monologue about something mushy and romantic that Natori's fangirls could sink their teeth into and enjoy.

Natsume looked down at his shoes. They weren't sandals this time but a pair of blue patent leather high-heels with some gold embellishment on the toe. But thank god that the heels weren't really skinny like how he'd seen most other women wear their shoes. The heel was a bit thicker so they were easier to walk and run in. But it had still been hard when he first got them on.

He had even fallen once but Natori had caught him. Natsume felt his face get warmer thinking about it. Maybe it was just from embarrassment? But then again when he thought about how Natori's hand had just lingered for a second more than was needed his face grew warmer. Then was there a different reason?

_Things have become a bit more complicated since I got here,_ he thought.

He heard Endo scream, "Action!" and Natsume looked to where Natori and Yukiko stood on set. He could see Natori's mouth move but Natsume was too far away to understand what he was saying. So instead he looked at Natori's facial expressions.

Now, while Natsume didn't know a whole lot about acting, he did find it striking how an actor, at least a good one, had such control over the body and had such control over their facial features.

Even from far away he could tell what kind of emotion Natori was trying to portray. And Natsume noticed all the little details that Natori threw in from his head down to his toes. Everything spelled out exactly what the actor wanted it to. But it wasn't so melodramatic that it was just so over the top and ridiculous everyone could tell it wasn't real. Everything that Natori did seemed real. It seemed sincere. Just like it would in real life.

Natsume sighed and looked down at his blue patent leather shoes. That particular thought more than likely would lead to other thoughts such as questioning whether or not Natori is real or sincere and it's always hard to tell what an actor is thinking because they're so good at playing pretend. But Natsume had chosen a while ago not to go down that road because he had decided that while Natori never really shared a whole lot and had his secrets he was a trustworthy person.

But as he looked back up to watch Natori work his magic he saw…

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

_A kiss._

_I try to convey every thought, every emotion, every word that I can't say out loud to her through that one kiss. All of my passion, all of my need, all of everything that I have for her._

_I try to tell her through that kiss that I will give up anything for her. Anything to make her happy._

_I want to protect her from danger, to shield her from anything that can harm her or that would go bump in the night. I want to lay in bed with her and feel her breathe against me and maybe I'll even get to hear that cute snore of hers. I want to kiss her as often as I can, just like this._

_And if for just one moment I could feel in that kiss that she feels the same way, I'd be complete._ I wouldn't want anymore.

_She pushes away. We look each other in the eyes. There's hurt in her eyes. What does that mean? I don't know._

"CUUUT! Good job everyone," Natori heard the director shout. The actor smiled to himself, half because of the relief that Endo was pleased with the take and also half because he wouldn't have to do another take of kissing Yukiko. He really didn't normally mind kissing actresses while acting but with the raging screeching whirlwind of an actress it took all of his acting ability to pretend he was actually in love with her and not almost vomit in her mouth.

He really couldn't stand the actress and wished that kissing would've counted as a stunt.

_Oh, if only, _he thought.

To kiss the adorable little stunt-double would be heaven with a side of nirvana. At the thought of Natsume, Natori's eyes immediately began scanning off-set for the girly, lovely boy he wished he could call his own.

But Natori was a bit confused at what he saw when his eyes finally rested on Natsume. The boy had bowed his head and was clenching the hem of his dress. Natori couldn't really see the boy's face because the long strands of hair from his wig had veiled his face from view.

He immediately started to worry. _Is Natsume okay? Is he ill? Did he see some ayakashi? Is there something that I don't know? Maybe he was cursed or something? Why doesn't Natsume ever tell me these things? No, I know why. Because he doesn't want to burden anyone. Even if he's under some curse that will make him die in a few days. As long as no one knows enough to worry about him, he'll be fine and he can fix it on his own. I love him but he's such a dumbass sometimes._

Presently, he heard the director talking.

"Princess, get your girly ass out there so our darling little Yukiko-chan don't have to bust her sweet buns runnin the hell away from Natori."

Natori saw Natsume get up from where he was sitting and without looking anywhere but the ground he made his way over to the set.

Natori watched Natsume make his way over with a few stumbles in those ungodly heals. He tripped endearingly though and didn't fall But rest assured if Natsume had looked like he was going to fall Natori would've gone and caught him again.

But he couldn't think too much about that right now, because he was in the middle of working. And thinking about catching Natsume would lead to thinking about how he had caught Natsume. And thinking about how he had caught Natsume would lead to thinking about how soft his skin felt. And thinking about how soft his skin felt… well you could probably guess what that would lead to.

So to derail this train of thought, he focused on Natsume as the boy stood directly in front of him as Yukiko had not too long ago.

"Natsume," he said, "what's wrong? Why are you clutching your dress like that?"

The fact that he had said "Natsume" and "your dress" in the same breath made Natori want to break out in a peal of giddy giggles but he suppressed that urge and instead looked at Natsume very seriously.

And Natori got something he didn't expect. He was expecting something like Natsume looking up at him with those gorgeous gold eyes with a cute determined and slightly nervous expression saying something like, "Nothing, I'll be alright," or "Natori-san, you don't have to worry about it," all the while having a darling crimson blush touch his cheeks.

Instead of that he was met with Natsume still looking at the ground, hair still covering his face and a "Nothing's wrong," practically spat at him.

_So Natsume's angry?_

He never thought he'd see the day. Now he'd never really call Natsume a push-over but he could probably see someone who didn't know him too well calling the boy such a name. Because as the boy was, he was not confrontational, for the most part. He had his fits of punching things but that was really only because it was a reaction, to when he was scared or surprised.

But Natsume never seemed like the type to have so much self-esteem and self-worth that he'd actually get mad about something instead of angsting about his own insecurities. And Natori couldn't help but smile and be happy. Natsume was finally breaking out of his shell enough to show some sort of human emotion.

Natori, still smiling, placed a hand on both of Natsume's shoulders, and crouched down a little to coax the boy to look at him. The actor still couldn't see Natsume's eyes but he could see Natsume's face which was the color of a freshly bloomed rose.

"Natsume," he said softly, as if not wanting to frighten the boy or give him more reasons to be angry.

The boy tilted his head a bit so that Natori could clearly see those wonderful eyes that could make his knees weak. The poor boy looked as if he was about to go on a punching-kicking-and-screaming spree or burst into tears… or perhaps both.

Natori now realized that angry AND hurt Natsume was not something to be happy about. He wanted so desperately to hold the boy close and kiss away his troubles. But since troubles can't really cease to exist because two people press their lips together, he wished that the world could work like that just for Natsume.

But why was Natsume acting like this?

"Natsume," he said again, this time a bit louder but still as gentle as he could manage, "we're going to talk about this later. And you're going to tell me why you're so angry."

While his tone was gentle, Natori made sure there was no room for argument.

And there wasn't any time to argue anyway because Endo had chosen that time to say, "Action!"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

And like a bullet, Natsume had run as fast as he could away from Natori. All the while running, he thought about why he was angry.

_Nothing makes sense,_ he would think_, I got so mad I practically yelled at him. But he didn't really do anything, did he?_

Immediately his mind displayed for him a mental image of Natori kissing Yukiko quite passionately. And almost as quickly, Natsume felt that terrible burning and hurting feeling he'd associate with anger.

_But WHY? Why does that bother me so much?_

The director had yelled cut and demanded that Natsume run more like a girly girl instead of a girly guy. So they reset and did the scene again and again. But all the while Natsume could barely keep his thoughts from wandering to what that awful feeling was and why he was feeling it.

Several times during shooting he had looked at Natori. Natori had looked back and had given him a comforting smile. It made his face heat up and his heart beat faster. So he concluded that he wasn't mad at Natori like he had first thought.

But then he had looked at Yukiko, drinking a smoothie, a latte, an iced cappuccino or some other expensive drink and complaining about how it was too hot or too cold or it tasted horrible or not even her dog Julio would drink it. She had even threatened that she would just up and leave and not even finish shooting and letting the director and staff handle the project on their own if they didn't get her drinks right.

Now before today, Natsume had never really felt toward the woman. He neither liked nor disliked her. But today he disliked her. He really really disliked her. That image of Natori and her kissing just kept coming up in his mind and it was just so frustrating, and sure they were actors playing a part but that didn't mean that Natori should kiss her that passionately and shouldn't there be boundaries on how often actors were allowed to kiss with tongue and…

He had to stop thinking like this. He sounded like a jealous love-struck teenager. And that thought was ridiculous enough to be funny.

_That couldn't be it, I mean, sure Natori-san's great and all but we're both boys… well okay that can happen but there's nothing special going on between us… but there is because just last night I thought that we could be more than friends… But it can't be love right…? But I care about him a lot and my heart beat gets fast every time he touches me or looks at me…_ _So that means..._

At that moment, Natsume put his head in his hands and realized that if something someone says about you or that you say about yourself is funny, then it's more than likely true.

**_There you have it. Natsume FINALLY realizes he's got a crush on Natori. I can feel it the end is drawing near! And by near I mean probably not for another few chapters. But anyway tell me what you think! If you guys liked Natsume's Eureka moment or if you didn't tell me in a review and I will love you forever! *kisses*_**


	10. Chapter 10

**_HOLY CANOLI! Look! Chapter 10? What? This is happeneing right now? I didn't know I could make a fanfic this long! Wow! Well anyway, once again thank you for everyone's nice reviews and feedback. You all have a special place in my heart now, and for all of those who haven't reviewed, you still have a chance to hold a special place in my heart too. So... again sorry this is late but I figure you guys would like something that has more thought and has more stuff going on then something rushed and completely crap that might happen if I try to write and update on time every week. But anyway I hope you guys like this chapter because I like this chapter... I really do. Enjoy!_**

Natsume sat at the end of his bed, elbows resting on knees and head resting in hands. He was so tired he didn't even have the energy to shift his body's center of gravity so he could lie down.

It was just him and Nyanko-sensei in their hotel room. Endo had let him go a little earlier than the rest of the cast and crew because the director felt that Natsume had been working too hard and advised the boy to go back to his room and get some well-deserved rest.

Natsume had been relieved because he was tired with all of the extra work he had had to do but was a little disappointed when he realized Natori was staying behind because he had more scenes to shoot with the supporting cast.

Nyanko-sensei looked curiously up at the fatigued boy and asked, "What's going on with you? Tired? Hungry? Or just pining after that human?"

"Nyanko-sensei…" Natsume growled out warningly. He didn't feel like he had the patience at this hour to listen to Nyanko-sensei say how hopeless it was and that he'd be better off without Natori. "Please, I'm really tired. I don't want to talk about it right now. And what if Natori-san suddenly comes in and overhears what we were saying, then what would he think."

Nyanko-sensei wickedly grinned… well as wickedly as a maneki neko can grin. "He'd think you're a crazy stalker!" he chortled at the thought of Natori knowing that the boy had a creepy little crush on the actor.

It had been two weeks since Natsume's epiphany concerning a certain blonde actor and thankfully for him, Natori had been too tired to question why Natsume had gotten jealous or upset, whatever Natori thought Natsume was. And Natsume was grateful for that, because he had been tired as well and didn't think he could deal with the emotional exhaustion that would come with Natori's questioning on top of the physical exhaustion.

The deadline for all of the scenes was fast approaching and all of the cast and crew were working double-time to make that deadline as best they could. Even the actors and actresses pitched in where they could to make the crew's life a little easier. They'd do things like fix lunches for everyone and make sure everyone was hydrated because it was getting really hot outside and that's where the majority of the shooting took place. And even when they would shoot scenes inside, from the lights and cameras and everyone's body heat, it was almost as hot as the outside.

Everyone was doing their part and more to meet the deadline… except for Yukiko. She would complain and threaten that she'd leave if she had to do anymore than she already had to until no one asked her to do anything else anymore. They would make her shoot a couple of scenes and then let her do as she liked.

It made Natsume slightly peeved that whatever they would've made Yukiko do extra, they would make Natori do. On top of whatever else they had originally asked him to do. So Natsume would make sure to ask Natori and anyone else if he could do anything; just to make everything would go more smoothly and have everyone's workload lightened a little bit. But that still wasn't enough to make anyone less tired by the end of the day.

So when Natsume and Natori would go back to their hotel rooms, there would hardly be any talking. They would both collapse on their beds. But just before Natsume would drift off to sleep, he would hear Natori tell him, "Good night, Natsume. Definitely tomorrow… we'll talk about why you were so upset… definitely tomorrow…"

But for the past two weeks, that tomorrow had never come. He really didn't want to talk about it because he felt like he'd end up telling Natori the truth. And the truth was embarrassing… not to mention completely nonsensical.

_Natori-san is older than me and he's more of like a mentor… there's really no way it would ever make sense to him... What if after I tell him he'd get weird on me and things would be really awkward? What if he starts to dislike me because I've got feelings for him? Because I have feelings for another man? That's more than likely to happen… I really wouldn't be surprised if Natori-san would be at least a little uncomfortable about this. The best thing would be not to tell him._

He'd have this inner monologue for the past week and it would keep recurring in his head throughout the day and night. He'd have to follow this train of thought until it reached its end to remind himself just how important it was to keep things like this a secret.

_And it isn't like there aren't any secrets between us, because there are. There are things he probably can't tell me, so that means I can have things that I can't tell him._

But as soon as this thought hit him, he thought that he was rationalizing and making up excuses not to tell him.

As the days had gone on, there was a nagging feeling in the back of his head telling him that Natori should know that the person he's sharing a room with has a creepy crush on him and it was growing by the day. And as he thought about this idea more, the more it made sense.

Because Natsume's way of thinking led him to believe that if he was ever going to share a room with someone who had a creepy crush on him, he would've liked to know so that he could judge whether or not he's comfortable with it. And although it was very unlikely that Natsume would ever try to do anything that would make Natori uncomfortable: things like, maybe Natsume would run his hands through Natori's hair instead of the other way around happening all the time, holding hands, saying, "I love you," back and forth, and even kissing.

Now remember, the list of intimate acts above were purely hypothetical circumstances that Natsume was thinking of that may or may not have made Natori uncomfortable and were in no way drawing from what Natsume actually really wanted deep deep _deep_ down from the bottom of his heart. However, they did make Natsume's whole face turn red whenever he thought about any of them.

"You're such a girl, Natsume," he heard Nyanko-sensei say presently.

Natsume really didn't feel like thinking about it or talking about it to anyone at the moment but he couldn't stop himself from asking Nyanko-sensei, "And why do you say that?" as coarsely as he could get out.

"Because only girls pine after humans they like. Men don't pine. They go out and hunt for their mate and don't care about consequences or if they'd feel uncomfortable around them or whatever else it is that you're worrying about," was Nyanko-sensei's reply.

And although Natsume was feeling especially argumentative, he really couldn't pick out a flaw in the fat cat's logic.

And that just made him angrier and a little more depressed and frustrated.

"I _am_ acting like a girl," Natsume admitted grudgingly.

"Maybe it's all the girl's clothes you're wearing," Nyanko-sensei said off-handedly.

Despite himself, Natsume chuckled. "Maybe, you're right."

Natsume let out a really big yawn and stretched. He didn't think he could keep awake for another minute and so he threw himself backwards so he was laying on his bed, and just like that he fell asleep.

::::::::::::::::::::::

When Natori finally arrived back at the hotel room, it was either late at night or early in the morning. His mind was too hazy from fatigue to make a distinction like that.

He was frustrated with everything that had been going on. With work, with Yukiko, and with Natsume, he was frustrated with all of it. The deadline had been coming up and Endo was as haggard as a director could get and Natori was sure that Endo wanted everyone else just as haggard as he was. He was working the cast and crew to the bone and not letting them get a whole lot of time to rest and recuperate. Yukiko was being a bitch like always. Never lending a hand and always threatening to just walk away from the whole project if someone tried to make her do more than just acting. Natori swore if he heard that high pitch screech about leaving one more time, he might snap like a twig and go off on her.

And Natsume…

He really had meant to talk to Natsume about why he had gotten so upset that one day of shooting. But instead of being the doting and caring love-interest he wanted to be, he was instead a stupid lazy jackass that couldn't keep his eyes open for three seconds after flopping down on his nice and soft hotel bed to hear what Natsume had to say.

And not only that, he could feel his self-control slipping. Natsume would give him the cutest and most innocent looks and all he wanted to do after that was kiss the boy senseless. Was it just him or were those looks that Natsume gave him different nowadays? Perhaps a little more embarrassed like he was hiding some secret?

Sometimes he would feel someone looking at him. And when he would turn around he would find Natsume with a dazed expression on his face. He wasn't really doing anything else except staring at him. And when Natori would ask what was wrong, the boy would turn a deep shade of red all the way up to his ears and deny that there was anything wrong and that he was just spacing out because he was tired.

It was so cute. And sometimes after those little moments, Natori would allow himself to imagine that Natsume had been staring at him because he harbored a secret crush on him. And he was blushing because he was embarrassed about staring and was afraid that Natori thought he was being rude when actually the boy was just admiring how handsome and suave the elder had looked.

It was a nice little daydream and a nice break from work sometimes but the actor knew that something like that could never happen. No matter how much he loved Natsume or how much he wanted his feelings requited, it could never happen.

He had sworn to himself since he started to speculate that he was actually falling in love with the boy that he would never force his feelings on him or act on them in any way… unless of course, Natsume ever fell in love with him and acted on his feelings first.

And a bit chagrined, he realized that Natsume ever acting on romantic feelings was a prospect that had a very slim chance of ever happening.

Presently as he was getting changed to go to bed, he heard Natsume's cute little snores again.

Natori looked over and could see Natsume's outline as he lay on his back sleeping. He couldn't help but smile at how adorable Natsume was.

Natsume had one arm resting on his belly, and the other arm lay up above his head and his head was turned slightly to the side.

_If Natsume and I were lovers, I could go over to his bed and bend down for a kiss to wake him up. And then he'd slowly open those gorgeous eyes and when he'd see me, he'd get that cute little blush on his face. I'd say, "I'm back," then he'd say, "Welcome back,_ _I missed you," then I'd tell him over and over again how much I love him just to make up for all the lost time. And then maybe once or twice, he'd say how much he loved me._

Absent mindedly, the actor walked over to the side of Natsume's bed. And since he was closer he could see Natsume's sleeping face in the dark a bit clearer. His expression was serene and utterly captivating. And it was too much to resist apparently.

Maybe it was because he was so tired, or he was just frustrated, or it was a mixture of both. Natori always took the greatest pride in himself for self-control, but tonight his inner conflict of holding back or letting loose was taking his toll on him.

So in a moment of unguarded and purely-going-on-instinct thoughtlessness, he reached out a hand to brush away some of Natsume's bangs. Then he leaned down and softly kissed the boy's exposed forehead.

He couldn't describe how he felt at that moment. He was happy? Joyous? Elated? Any word he could think of was truly an understatement so he chose to not think about it and instead became a bit more daring as he landed one more kiss on the boy's forehead.

…_maybe just one more… okay, last one… maybe I could just peck his cheek once… just once…_

Natsume's cheeks were so soft and smooth and warm that Natori couldn't resist just one more small kiss. But as he swore the next one would be the last, he couldn't bring himself to stop. At the moment all he could think about was Natsume and how much he loved him. And since that was all he could think about of course there was no room for more rational thoughts like, "What if Natsume wakes up? What if Natsume hates you forever for being a big dumb gay pedophile? What if he calls the police on you and have you arrested? What if the tabloids catch wind of that? What if you can't find a job as an actor ever again because you're a big dumb gay pedophile?"

But sadly reality had a neat little way to slap Natori in the face and it came in the form of something wrapping at their hotel window.

And if anyone had been watching, they would've thought that it was strange that such a small sound could illicit such a big reaction from someone.

Natori, upon hearing the sound, immediately threw himself backwards away from Natsume and mentally kicked himself over and over again.

_Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT! What the hell was I doing? I shouldn't have DONE that. I shouldn't have done THAT! And I most definitely SHOULDN'T have done that. What the hell was I thinking? Oh, right, I wasn't thinking. Dammit! Dammit!_

He then remembered that something had brought him out of his sleepy love-induced trance and went over to the window to see what it was.

Walking over, he checked over his shoulder to make sure that Natsume was still asleep, and that his ministrations of unrequited love had gone unnoticed. The last thing he needed that night was to be called a big dumb gay pedophile by the one person whose opinion actually mattered to him. And if Natsume would ever think badly of Natori, his whole world would fall apart at the seams.

He actually may have to thank whatever was wrapping at their hotel room for pulling him back into reality, otherwise he didn't know what could have happened.

So when he got over to the window, opened it, he saw a little bird youkai.

She looked like a regular tiny little blackbird except that she had a beautiful magnolia kimono on. And since regular blackbirds don't usually wear kimonos, Natori used his steadily failing logic to conclude that she was in fact a youkai.

"Hello," she chirped a bit too loudly for this time of night, "Who are you?"

"I should be asking you that question," Natori said without much emotion in it at all. He was tired after all, and to an actor portraying emotion was like laying a foundation for a house for a carpenter. It was work and it was tiring.

The blackbird made a noise that sounded like a bird's song but it looked a little more like she was laughing.

"You're right!" she said. "You're absolutely right! My name is Momoka and I am here to see the Great Natsume-sama! Now will you answer the question that I asked you first?"

Natori was still tired and getting more tired by the second. Maybe if it was during the daytime, when he hadn't spent 12 hours running around, doing stunts, putting on fake faces and dancing like a monkey for Endo's enjoyment, Natori might've thought that the little youkai was cute and would've smiled fondly at it and perhaps have answered with something more courteous.

And since it wasn't the day time and he had spent 12 hours running around, doing stunts, putting on fake faces and dancing like a monkey for Endo's enjoyment, Natori answered with a very curt, "No, I will not answer your first question and the Great Natsume-sama is sleeping and I'd really rather not let anyone disturb him right now."

And the way he had said, "I'd really rather not," actually made it sound like, "I'd actually punch you in the face if you were to disturb him right now."

The little blackbird youkai, a little ashamed that maybe she had been making too much noise said softly, "I'm sorry. Should I come back when the sun is in the sky again?"

"Yes. But try to be back when the sun first comes up because during the day we have a lot of things to do. Alright?"

Natori tried to sound a bit more comforting because birds had always been his favorite animals growing up. And seeing the little blackbird sad made something in his chest tighten. And the youkai called Momoka did save him from doing potentially creeper-like things to Natsume so he did have to show some sort of gratitude to her even though she didn't know what she did.

And she did seem to perk up a bit and the actor's softer tone. She said, "Alright. I will be back because I must see the great Natsume no matter what."

Natori smiled in a uncommitted sort of way and watched as the youkai flew off into the night. He closed the door and threw himself on his bed, eager for sleep to take him. And as he was right on the edge of sleep he could still hear Natsume's snore and he smiled without any effort at all.

**_Soooo? what d'ya guys think? Who thinks Natori's a creeper? Well, I do. That's why I kind of made him a little creeper-ish. Y'know just a little. I hope you guys liked the chapter and I hope you guys like the addition of Momoka, her part will be explained in the next chapter but I just didn't feel like I could leave end this fic and be happy with it if I didn't somehow incorporate youkai and ayakashi stuff in with it._**

**_So tell me what you think. Tell me if you loved it or if you hated it! But I hope you loved it. *kisses*_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Hi all! Soo... long time no see? I can tell by the awkward silence you guys hate me right? Yeah... But don't hate me because I recently got back to school and have had a million things to do in the mean time. Also I've been working on some original stuff because I've been taking a Creative writing course at school and have been writing a short story to submit for a contest so please don't hate me!_**

**_Thank you to everybody that left such nice reviews and everyone who favorited/subscribed to the story. I get so happy when I see those little notifications in my mailbox! I promise I'll try to get these out faster but still make them just as good. And I really hope that this chapter is worth the wait. And so without further adieu I present to you Chapter 11!_**

The next morning at the crack of dawn, Natori woke up to the sound of a small creature rapping on the hotel window.

He didn't like the idea of waking up just yet especially since he had such a late night. But then he remembered the little youkai asking to see Natsume. He figured it wasn't worth getting up and letting Momoka in right now. If it was really as important as she said it was, then she would wait until Natori could bring himself to think that getting out of bed was a good idea.

And at the moment he didn't. So he closed his eyes and imagined for a few peaceful seconds that Natsume would crawl into his bed at any second and confess his undying love for him. Then they would proceed to make-out until they both had to get dressed for work. Or as long as he was day-dreaming about his perfect world, they wouldn't have to go to work and would have the leisure of basking in each other's love and warmth all day long.

A few seconds later, he heard the distinct noise of Natsume yawning. And what a darling sound that was. Natori could see in his mind's eye the boy stretching as he yawned, perhaps some eye-rubbing as well, just to make the picture even more endearing. And as he stretched, Natsume's cute little nightshirt would ride up to expose a small section of his midriff. Though perhaps a bit skinnier than would be healthy for a boy at that age, it would be just as enticing.

He heard a rustling of sheets then a creak of the floorboard and concluded that Natsume had gotten out of bed. And for a moment he caught himself wishing that his daydream would actually come true. That Natsume would actually walk across the room, then actually sit on his bed… or lap for that matter. Yep, lap was better. And then once he was seated on his lap would start to do one of two things: 1) say something to the effect of, "Natori-san, I have something really important to tell you… I love you," or 2) skip the confession and just start planting kisses all over his face.

But unless he wanted to become depressed at the idea of Natsume never returning his feelings, Natori decided it would be a good idea to try and get himself up and get ready for the long and grueling day of shooting ahead of him.

Now upon opening his eyes, there were several things that he expected to see. He expected to see the dull beige color of the walls and ceiling. He expected to see the nightstand where he kept his fake glasses for seeing ayakashi. He also even perhaps expected to see Natsume chatting with Momoka and thought that talking with the youkai had been Natsume's reason for getting out of bed.

However, not even Natori can predict everything that could happen. Sure, he's good at perceiving and making judgments on past experiences but clairvoyance was not one of Natori's many talents.

So you can understand Natori's complete surprise as he opened his eyes to see Natsume hovering over him with a hand midway between Natsume and Natori's temple. Now while Natsume didn't seem to be staring directly at him at first but was extremely focused on whatever enigma had presented itself on the side of the actor's head, after Natsume had realized Natori was awake he began to stare and become red.

Natori, in retrospect, suspected that he had been staring too. He wasn't wide-eyed surprised he was simply wondering what Natsume had been doing.

So he said, "Natsume, what's wrong? What's going on?"

Natsume looked everywhere but Natori. "Well, I-I-I… nothing."

Confused, Natori asked, "Then why are you standing there like that?" He felt bad because he felt like he was interrogating Natsume but the boy had been acting so strangely lately and he really wanted to know what was going on.

It took Natsume awhile to respond. But when he did he seemed a little more coherent.

"There… was a fuzzy in your hair… and I was trying to get it."

What Natori felt at that moment was something like a mixture of two cups joy because Natsume had unwittingly fulfilled one of Natori's many daydreams, one cup wonderment at how innocent the response was, a half a cup mushy-gooey-lovey-doveyness and a small pinch of something illegal. Now if you let it sit and bake at a temperature of 98.6 degrees it becomes an enticing accumulation of indiscretion.

And Natori did his damnedest to try and not succumb and dabble in indiscretion because he had already done that last night.

_But still… just a little wouldn't hurt…_

"Is it still there?"

Natsume blinked at the question asked of him. After another short pause he replied, "Uhhh… yeah."

Natori smiled what he hoped was a genuine and warm smile and not an oh-my-god-he's-gonna-rape-me-isn't-he smile. "Could you get it for me then?"

Natsume turned just a shade redder and said, "S-sure."

That brief touch did something to Natori that he wouldn't want to try to explain to Natsume's guardians for fear of getting the police called on him. It was like an electrical current ran from the top of his head where Natsume brushed away the fuzz all the way down to his toes. And as it coursed through his body it warmed him up but made him want to shiver too. It was both thrilling and terrifying how this one boy could make him feel like this with just one simple touch.

"Um, I got it so uh… I'm gonna go get changed."

Natori opened his eyes which had somehow become closed and watched Natsume get his clothes from one of the dressers and proceed into the bathroom.

_Probably a good idea to get up and get ready too,_ he thought. _At least it would be better than dwelling on… that._

However he was once again interrupted in his musings by the rapping at the hotel window. It seemed to have become more frantic, becoming louder and more frequent.

Natori sighed. He was up anyway so might as well…

"Yes, yes, I'm coming."

Natori went over to the window and for what he hoped was the last time let the little youkai in.

With a chirp, Momoka hopped right in and said, "I thought you'd never let me in." Her first statement was rather indignant but then she adopted a more thoughtful air. The harshness in her voice faded as she said, "Well, I guess in the mornings it's only natural to be with your one true love. I guess I feel rather intrusive."

She then became more apologetic and ashamed as she said, "I am sorry. I didn't know that you were Natsume-sama's special someone. If I had known that I wouldn't have been so rude and knocked so loudly early in the morning. Once, someone told me that humans can only have intercourse when they're filled up with sake and therefore have migraines once they wake up. I also hear that humans after having a long night of love-making get pains in very sensitive places…" She whispered the last bit as if it were a dangerous conspiracy theory and looked at Natori very seriously.

Natori just stared at her. He didn't even know where to start in terms of a retort.

There was that theory about humans not able to have sex without alcohol. Then there was the part about sensitive places. And then there was…

"Whoever said I was Natsume's special someone?" Natori asked and sounded like the cool, calm and collected actor that he always wanted to be and not the squeaky gay man that freaks out at the tiniest thing that he probably was. He had gotten a good night's sleep so he had a better handle on his emotions than he had last night.

Momoka looked at him like he had just mocked her and her stunning intuition, "Please, it was all over both of your faces. I'm not that dense."

Natori's heart sped up. The very idea of him being Natsume's someone was absolutely ridiculous… and thrilled him to no end. He couldn't help how he felt about Natsume. He could keep himself from acting on his feelings but he couldn't help feeling this way.

But that didn't make it any less impossible.

He wished with everything he had that love could be more logical. He wished that he had fallen in love with someone more age appropriate. He wished that he would've fallen in love with someone who didn't have emotional baggage that was comparable to the world on his shoulders. He wished he didn't have the same type of baggage so that he wouldn't feel incompetent and so that maybe he actually could take care of Natsume. And he wished that he would've fallen in love with someone who would actually be attracted to him too so it wasn't just this one-sided tragic romance.

He wanted a happy ending. He wanted Natsume's happy ending. He wanted those two happy endings to be tied to each other.

"I wish…" Natori said dejectedly in response to Momoka's intense staring.

Momoka sighed. "You, Mr. Natsume's-special-someone, are very dense."

Natori scoffed and replied, "And you don't know anything about human relationships or how complicated they can be."

The black-bird youkai puffed out here chest and said, "And _you_ don't know how uncomplicated they can be."

"Oh? And what would you know about that?" The youkai was trying his patience but he tried to not let it seep into his voice too much.

"I know that sometimes humans are too caught up in their own heads to realize what's going on in another's heart. I know that sometimes humans are afraid to take big chances because they don't want to be alone. I know that sometimes humans don't take chances and end up alone anyway."

_No, no, no…_ Natori thought pinching the bridge of his nose,_ I am not having an argument with a youkai about the philosophy of love and life this early in the morning…_

"Listen, Momoka," Natori started, "I know you just want to help but there's a lot of other things that factor into a relationship besides one person's feelings."

There was a pause as if Momoka couldn't figure out an appropriate response so the two just ended up staring heatedly at eachother.

"Natori-san," he heard the object of his drama call, "the bathroom's free if you want."

Genuinely happy to hear the boy's voice and get away from the awkward conversation he was having with the youkai, Natori walked over to the bathroom while sending Natsume a fabulous smile complete with sparkles saying, "Thank you, Natsume. By the way, there's a youkai here to see you."

He touched Natsume on the arm and leaned in a bit closer to whisper, "She doesn't seem dangerous but if anything happens I'll be in the other room."

Natsume seemed to bristle a bit at the touch but he said, "Alright," without much of a stutter so Natori left Natsume to deal with Momoka.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Natsume couldn't help the blush that spilled across his face up to his ears. It seemed like Natsume was more aware of Natori these past couple days. Everything he did Natsume had a vague if not astute understanding of where Natori positioned himself relative to Natsume.

And even the small touch on the shoulder was enough to reduce the boy to several shades of red.

And this morning he made a complete fool out of himself. How could he just try and reach out to touch Natori's hair? And then on top of that he had lied and said that there was a fuzzy in his hair when there wasn't!

But seeing the actor lay there sleeping did something to the boy. It made his discretion fade and his romantic ideals flourish. He wondered bemusedly about how at that moment before Natori had woken up Natsume had in his mind compared Natori to something beautiful. Beautiful like a cherry tree with cherry blossoms in full bloom was what Natsume had thought at that moment.

However, sitting there presently he began to wonder if Natori's beauty was as tangible as that. He began to wonder if Natori was more like a reflection of a cherry blossoms in a lake. It was beautiful to look at but as soon as you tried to touch it and make it yours the image would be disrupted by ripples and the illusion was shattered.

But hearing a familiar twitter, Natsume tried to dispel thoughts of what Natori was doing to him unintentionally and meet the youkai that had come to see him.

When the little bird youkai saw him she twittered and hopped happily as she sang, "Natsume-sama! Natsume-sama! It's good to see you again!"

The boy looked at the bird and smiled warmly, "Momoka. It's good to see you again, too. How is your wing doing?"

The small youkai flitted around the room proving to Natsume that it was quite better as she chirped, "All better! All better! All better thanks to Natsume-sama and Fat Cat!"

The boy laughed good-naturedly at how the youkai referred to Nyanko-sensei. "Don't let him hear you say that or he might break your wing all over again."

Still flying around the room the black bird sang, "But certainly it is not as mean because it is Natsume-sama's friend. It went with you when you went to go get apples from the apple tree to help my wing heal."

Natsume held out his hand so the youkai could perch on it and said, "He probably only came along to get apples for himself. He just loves to eat."

Momoka chirruped out a laugh and said, "Natsume-sama is right! Natsume-sama is right!"

"Anyway, Momoka, why did you travel all the way here? Are you in trouble again? Do you need help?"

The youkai looked at Natsume and said, "No no no! It is not Natsume-sama who needs to help this time. It is my turn to help! I came to help Natsume-sama in return for helping me when I was stuck down in the well!"

Natsume gave the youkai a quizzical look so the black bird decided to elaborate. "Natsume-sama helped me when I was in need so I thought it would only be fair to help Natsume-sama if he was in need. So I came to find you to help you with whatever you need helping with!"

Natsume blushed a little. It was very rare that he was ever offered any help by youkai or humans for that matter. So whenever he was offered help he always had a hard time deciding how to accept it or how to politely decline it.

In this case he was trying to decline. "Umm… thank you, Momoka but I don't think I need any help right now. I'm not really in trouble."

Momoka gave him what looked like a scowl but at the same time didn't look like a scowl. If the same expression was on a person he probably would've thought it was a scowl but because it was on a bird he thought it looked more like a look of comic disbelief.

Momoka puffed out her chest and twittered rather shrilly, "What? Of course you need help. With a special someone like that who wouldn't!"

Natsume was puzzled and asked, "What do you mean?"

"That human! He is your special someone! But he doesn't seem to really know it, does he?"

Natsume blanched. "You're not talking about, Natori-san, are you?"

"Why, who else would I be talking about?"

Natsume turned a bright shade of red from the tips of his ears all the way down to his neck. Apparently shocked into silence he didn't say anything for awhile as Momoka rambled on about true love and humans and how they were all very cute but needed a lesson in mating.

Finally Natsume found his voice again and said, "Momoka, I appreciate the thought but I don't think this is something that can be helped."

"What do you mean, Natsume-sama?"

Natsume sighed. "I don't think that Natori and I could ever… be like that with each other. I mean, he's very successful at both of his jobs and I'm sure he doesn't need someone like me pestering him for sweet-nothings. I'd just be a burden."

While he meant to be very calm saying this, his voice quivered with an unbidden sense of hopelessness. He felt his eyes sting and his heart hurt because he had admitted to himself that it was hopeless between Natori and him. He really didn't want it to be but what else could be done about it?

He fought those overwhelming feelings back with everything he had and put on a brave face. "Even if he is my special someone, I don't think I'm his."

At this point in time, Natori's cell phone began to ring. And being told before that if Natori were ever unavailable during shooting Natsume should take the call in case it was Endo, Natsume picked up the phone and answered. "Hello?"

"PRINCESS! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU AND NATORI?"

"We're still in the hotel room getting ready. Why?"

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! _NOOOOWWW!_"

"Okay. We'll be over as soon as we can. But I thought you said we weren't supposed to be there until 8."

"WHO CARES WHAT I SAID? JUST GET YOUR GIRLY ASS DOWN HERE!"

And with that there was a sharp unforgiving click and the phone call ended. Natsume closed Natori's phone and sighed.

"Momoka, I'm sorry for having you come all the way here for nothing but Natori-san and I have work to go to. If you want you can stay here with Nyanko-sensei. You two seemed to get along pretty well last time we met."

Momoka huffed and turned her head sharply away. "No we did not! He was mean and tried to eat me every chance he got!"

Natsume chuckled. "Well, I'm sure this time around will be better. But we really do have to go soon. So by all means make yourself at home."

And with that, Natsume dashed toward the bathroom to warn Natori that if they weren't down on set as soon as possible Endo would have their heads mounted on set as an example to all who would step on the director's toes.

::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Oh no no no," Momoka sighed to herself, "This is even sadder than I thought. Why do humans have to make things so difficult for themselves?"

**_So I hope you guys got that Momoka was the youkai that Natsume had been helping before. When he got his wrist sprained while trying to pick apples? Remember? _**

**_So tell me what you think. Especially about those metaphors that I put in. Like the one where I compare Natori's feelings to baking something and Natsume's thoughts about Natori as a sort of reflection? That would be a great help in my writing if you guys would comment on that._**

**_Also I have something else if you guys would be so kind as to help me with. I was thinking about putting in a type of dance/song scene. And I was thinking about using three different artists. I'll have a poll up on my profile where you guys can vote. If you don't know one of the choices please take time to listen to their stuff too so you can make a more informed decision. _**

**_Or if you just want me to get this story over with already tell me that too. Because I'd hate to drag it out if you guys just want to see the ending._**

**_So as always tell me what you think. *kisses*_**


	12. Chapter 12

**_Heyyy, guys. Guess who's back? yeah me. the gal you probably want to burn in effagy because she hasn't updated in over a month. Sorry about that... Just have been busy with stuff. So thank you all so much once again for your kind reviews and your favoriting and your alerting and whatnot and I'm so glad that all of you are still reading and enjoying the story. Season 3 is over but we do have Season 4 to look forward to in the near future, so hold out until then troops. and also in the meantime, Enjoy Chapter 12._**

**_Oh one more thing before we get back to the story... the hits for this story... ARE OVER 9000! (I couldn't help myself. Don't hate me. :D)_**

They arrived on set in a matter of minutes, both scared shitless of what Endo might threaten to do to them and may very well carry out. Thankfully he was too busy running around shouting orders in between yelling at someone or apologizing profusely over the phone.

He was yelling about producers and their goddamn whims making all the respectable reasonable people run ragged over their crazy schemes.

No one liked the sound of that.

After Natsume went through hair and makeup, he came out of his trailer to a very strange sight.

Endo and Natori were talking… if talking was the correct verb to use. It more looked like Endo was screaming and Natori was passive aggressively saying things that might make the director explode any minute.

Endo had already lost his shit and that wasn't really all that strange he'd admit it.

But Natori was about to lose his. And that was stranger than if he'd put on polka-dot bloomers ride on a unicycle and confess to Natsume that he'd always loved him and wanted to whisk him away to his magic kingdom in the sky where he'd be treated like a prince/ess and where he could have his very own unicorn.

"They're the goddamn producers! WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, HUH?"

"Tell them that they're being ludicrous and that this can't happen by the same deadline. We're pressed for time as it is thanks to Yukiko's charming little stunt and now they want us to add more and go back and change other things? Did they even read the script before they signed on for the project?"

"Fuck if I know! And who's the director around here anyway! I'M YOUR BOSS REMEMBER?"

"Really? After how many times I've seen you bow down to our queen with your tail between your legs, I'd say Yukiko was the boss."

Natsume shivered at how Natori could say such a callous thing but still have that sugary sweet smile still plastered on his face.

"GODDAMMIT, NATORI, DON'T PUSH ME! I'LL BEAT YOU TILL YOUR PRETTY FACE TURNS BLACK AND BLUE!"

That sickening smile stayed in place. "I'm so sorry, Endo. How about I go tell Natsume the good news and you can get back to mending your broken and ridiculous ego."

With that the actor pointedly turned away from the director and walked toward Natsume. He put a hand on Natsume's arm and guided him away from Endo who looked like he was going to give himself a hernia out of rage.

He led them both back to his trailer and when they were both inside Natori let go of Natsume then slammed the door shut. He slammed both of his hands on the door and heaved a weighted sigh as if Atlas had just handed over the world to Natori while the god took a holiday.

"Natori-san?" Natsume ventured after awhile.

Natori still hadn't looked at him. He was still facing the door with slumped shoulders.

Natsume was scared. He'd never seen the actor look like this. Something must have happened to set him off. He felt like he should do something for the actor… But what? What could he possibly offer the actor in terms of comfort?

But before he could say anything, Natori finally turned around and had that infuriating smile in place. It was strained and even Natsume could tell that Natori was struggling to keep it in place.

"Sorry about that, Natsume. Endo and I were having a rather heated discussion but it's nothing to wor-"

"Don't tell me it's nothing to worry about."

Natori's eyes widened in surprise at Natsume's outburst. And in all honesty, Natsume was surprised at himself. But he was just so frustrated. Natori always hid behind that stupid fake smile of his. Didn't he trust Natsume? Even if they couldn't be anything more than friends weren't they at least that? And while he knew very little about friendship he was pretty sure that friends confided in each other. They should help each other out. Natsume knew in the back of his head that he probably couldn't really do anything if Endo was involved but the least he could do is be there and try to offer comfort if Natori was feeling upset and needed to vent.

That's what Nishimura and Kitamoto did for each other. He remembered one time that Kitamoto had tried out for the baseball team one year. And all of a sudden they decided that only the best players could be on the team. Kitamoto had given it his best shot but even that wasn't enough to impress the coach to let him on the team.

After the list of boys who had made the team had been put up, Kitamoto had looked completely crushed for the rest of the week. That is until Nishimura sighed and took the other boy by the arm, excused both of them from the classroom and dragged Kitamoto outside.

Natsume had seen them from the window. Nishimura looked a little pissed off as he motioned for Kitamoto to say something. Then after a few moments of hesitation and a few shakes from Nishimura, Kitamoto had started talking. His shoulders had shook just a little and his head was bowed. And Nishimura had looked at Kitamoto with such a look of sincere concern that Natsume thought that maybe he was witnessing too private a moment and directed his attention elsewhere.

And after that Kitamoto was back to his regular self in no time. And if it was even possible, Natsume thought somehow that the two had become even closer.

And Natsume envied them. He wanted to be that close to someone where he could feel comfortable talking about anything and that other person would be able to do the same around him.

He wanted to be trusted by someone he cared about. He wanted Natori to trust him. He wanted Natori to give up that stupid fake smile and give him a genuine emotion.

He tried to voice all of his feelings. He tried to tell Natori how frustrated he was when he was put on the sidelines. He didn't want to be protected he wanted to do some of the protecting too even if it was in a small way like this.

But as he tried to vocalize all of his thoughts his throat closed up and he couldn't get anything out for a while.

Natori just stared at him. And if nothing else came out of this at least Natsume was graced with the sight of an unguarded expression on the actor. And while it was a look of confusion at least it was something.

Finally the deafening silence was broken.

"You're right, Natsume. I'm sorry. I shouldn't keep you in the dark about this. After all, for better or for worse we're stuck with the same work problems at the moment. It's just…"

Natori paused. Obviously still pissed off about whatever happened, Natori fiddled with the cuffs of his shirt.

_I've never seen him do that before… Then again I've never seen him this angry before. Maybe it's a habit? That only comes out when he's this angry and when he can barely hold it in. That's… kind of cute._

"Sometimes Endo drives me up a wall. I mean with all of the past projects that I've worked with him, we were always either on time in terms of the deadline or scheduling and we got along fine. But now the deadline is coming up quick and Endo's driving everyone nuts with his perfectionism and his 'vision' as he calls it…."

With each passing syllable the agitation in Natori's voice had increased steadily. But then he trailed off. His eyes seemed to widen and he stared at Natsume. Natsume didn't know what that expression meant but he tried to make himself seem encouraging and that he was a willing listener.

Natori went on but passed the agitation Natsume could sense a bit of hesitation.

"And now, he told us that last night at around one in the morning the producers called saying they now want a song and dance number in the climax of the story … actually, no, they want two. They want Yukiko and me to each have our own song to sing. And get this, they got the rights to this jazz song written by a popular English artist and the whole song is in English. And meanwhile the producer's hired writers who are right at this moment coming up with an original song for Yukiko to sing."

Then the agitation died away. And there was an element of hackneyed dramatics to his words and just like that Natori was back behind his mask.

"And they completely changed how they wanted the grand climax of the story to happen. Instead of having it being in the city where our characters first met kind of making it come full circle… instead they decided that they want Yukiko's character to have a fantastic black-tie affair birthday party. So all of the extras need to learn how to dance or waltz or whatever it is that they want us to do like we're their monkeys and I need to learn lyrics to a song that's in English."

And with a dramatic sigh that wasn't extremely uncharacteristic of the actor, he flopped down on the nearest chair and put the back of his hand to his fore-head as if he were a princess about to faint. Natsume raised an eyebrow.

Natori saw his incredulous expression and for just a bit he broke character to smile. And then almost as immediately his facial expressions changed to overdramatized distress. Natsume could tell that Natori was being ridiculous on purpose and maybe it was because... he really couldn't think of a reason. Natori had absolutely no reason to over exaggerate his feelings to play it off comically.

Natsume even felt a little bit insulted. He wanted Natori to seek comfort in him but all he was doing, it seemed like, was trying to make it a big joke.

"Natori-san…"

The actor started at the sound of his name. He looked at the boy standing across from him. "Yes?"

Natsume felt his face flush under the gaze. He wished he could read what emotions swam behind those pretty red eyes.

"…S-stop."

The actor looked taken aback. "Stop what, Natsume?"

_Stop acting like a clown and tell me seriously what's bothering you. Can't you trust me? Or you don't want to trust me?_

_I wish you'd just tell me. _

_Tell me what's wrong._

_Tell me what you want._

_I don't want to guess anymore._

"Natsume…?" he heard the actor call him again.

Natsume tried desperately to organize all of those thoughts in his head to string together a coherent sentence. But he couldn't. The right words wouldn't come to mind and whenever he thought he found the right ones they wouldn't manifest themselves in actual sounds. And then he would forget the words and be back at square one.

After awhile Natori slowly got up from his seat and walked over to Natsume. He put a hand on the boy's shoulder and said something to the effect that he was there and that Natsume could tell him anything. Natsume wasn't really listening since he was still trying to figure just exactly what he wanted to say.

Finally he decided that he should just start talking. If he wanted Natori to open up to him without any reservations he supposed that he should do the same.

"Natori-san… you shouldn't have to keep your emotions from me… I mean, I know you probably can't share everything with me… but… I like to think that I'm strong enough to handle things like an adult. I don't need things dumbed down for me…"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, just now, you were making a joke, I guess, out of how frustrated you are… But you don't have to… I mean I'm not going to reject you if you actually want to share an honest feeling with me. And-and… so… you can just tell it to me straight without having to worry about freaking me out or anything… So I guess I'm just trying to say… trust me."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"… trust me."

Natori could barely believe his ears. Not only had Natsume shared a piece of himself but he'd actually had enough empathy to discern that he had made a big show out of his anger was due to the fact he was scared. He didn't want to unleash all of that pent up frustration on Natsume. He was so scared that if he did then Natsume would either get scared away or misinterpret where his anger was coming from and therefore somehow think that Natori was mad at him.

"Natsume…" he couldn't keep the wonder out of his voice.

_When and how had Natsume grown up without me realizing it?_

The boy was still talking. Natori couldn't possibly focus on what Natsume was saying because he was too caught up in being so incredibly overjoyed that Natsume had just opened himself up in such a big way.

Granted he would have been glad even if Natsume hadn't opened up to him and maybe instead to one of his high school friends. He could remember trying desperately to get the boy out of putting up this strange wall that he seemed to put up every time he came in contact with another human being.

He'd try disarming the boy with his gorgeous smile. He eventually got Natsume to agree to going to the hot springs with him… although in retrospect with Natori's affinity for the boy it was rather inappropriate.

And he had thought he'd made a good bit of progress even if it was just a little.

But the fact that Natsume had opened up to him, to Natori, he thought that if Natsume told him to fly to the moon and back he could've done it.

_God, I could do anything, just for him. He's the only motivation I'll ever need._

He could hear a little of what Natsume was rambling.

"and… I don't think that…"

Natori decided to cut him off because while wandering through the maze of his own thoughts he'd missed that Natsume had worked himself up quite a bit.

Natsume was clutching the hem of his dress (once again Natori had to suppress some very incriminating giggles) and now looking at his very pretty baby blue wedges. He'd even gone and gotten his face so red it was practically glowing. He seemed to be stuttering a bit more and maybe trembling a little bit.

Natori sighed with an honest-to-goodness smile on his face.

" wha-what I mean is that… w-w-we've been through a-a lot together and-and… and…"

The actor looked at Natsume and decided that if he didn't stop Natsume, the poor boy would work himself into an even greater tizzy and it might be too much for the boy. In fact all of his rambling about emotions and their time together seemed to have already taken its toll on the poor boy.

"Alright, Natsume. You've made your point quite clearly."

Natsume looked up at Natori and for some reason the actor saw embarrassment in those beautiful golden eyes. Well, it wasn't so much embarrassment as it was mortification.

_Poor darling little Natsume… he really gave his all into that little speech…_

And Natori despite himself got a little… emotional…. Perhaps a bit too emotional.

It was embarrassing really how Natsume broke down his fake happy-go-lucky walls with his honesty. Natori prided himself in being an actor. He was the master of his emotions not the other way around. But looking into the pools of liquid gold that were Natsume's eyes, and seeing innocence, earnest honesty, and… something else he didn't quite recognize, Natori couldn't for the life of him get a handle on his mask, the character that he played to protect himself. That character, the cool, aloof, sexy actor, was so hard to play at that moment. So without that default character, what else had he to go on besides his own emotions?

He didn't know whether it was right or wrong or would come back to kick him in the balls later, but if Natori ever felt that there was a good enough time to give in to his crazy emotions even just once and even for just a couple seconds, it'd probably be now. And it'd be more than worth it.

So he reached out and wrapped both his arms around Natsume. He pulled the boy in close and reveled in what it felt like.

Natori murmured a "Thank you," and didn't feel the need to elaborate.

He could feel Natsume's thin smooth shoulders from underneath the thin cotton fabric of his dress. He felt Natsume stiffen a bit too. His muscles contracted in surprise and apprehension of a gesture that was so common to everyone except for this boy. And even Natori wondered just how long it's been since he'd held someone or someone held him.

If Natori hadn't experienced this strange and comforting expression of affection for a long time, he was quite sure that in comparison Natsume might not have experienced it for far longer. However he did have such loving guardians.

Natori chuckled as he couldn't quite picture Touko not ever pulling the unsuspecting boy into an embrace even just every once in awhile. He's just too cute to resist sometimes.

But after a few moments passed by and Natsume still hadn't relaxed, Natori felt rather foolish.

Natsume probably didn't want this type of physical closeness especially since they were both guys. And the fact that Natori was an older guy made it even creepier, right? What the hell had he been thinking?

But just as he was about to let go, and brush off this whole scenario as nothing more than a happy accident, Natsume clutched at the sides of his shirt and leaned into the hug.

"N-Natori-san…" came his angelic voice, slightly abashed for some unknown reason that Natori didn't care to investigate at the moment. He just wanted to feel Natsume's forehead pressed against his chest. He just wanted to feel the rise and fall of Natsume's shoulders as he breathed. He just wanted to feel that closeness because only God knew when he would ever get the chance again.

"Yes, Natsume, what is it?" _Tell me everything. All I want to do is listen to you… and a few other things too, but right now I'm fine with listening._

"… It's nothing. Never mind."

"Hey, now that's not fair. 'Don't tell me it's nothing.' Right, Natsume?"

"It… It's just that… I…"

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK**!**

"NATORI-SAAAN! WE NEED YOU ON SET IN 3 MINUTES! IF YOU'RE NOT ON SET WITHIN THE ALLOTTED TIME, YOU MIGHT WANT TO RECONSIDER ANY PLANS TO HAVE CHILDREN THAT YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE!"

_Well, shit…_

And just like that whatever the spell had been that had descended upon them disappeared and Natsume sprang back from Natori's hold with a few quickly uttered apologies.

Natori's bad mood resurfaced and he said to Natsume, "So I don't have to worry about holding back around you, right?"

"Umm… yeah."

"Okay, here goes…"

And for the next three minutes, Natsume got to hear several colorful words come from his crush's throat to describe to a t exactly what he thought about Endo.

And Natsume, despite himself and Natori's newly acknowledged temper, smiled.

**_So there you have it. Natori's pretty emotional on the inside. So anyway send a review my way if you are so inclined. And please tell me if I'm abusing my freedom of interpretation of characters a bit too far. If you find anything too OOC please tell me and I'll do my best to make sure it won't happen in the future. Thanks for reading. *kisses*_**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Hey, guys. This shouldn't come as a surprise anymore at how late this is. but thank you to everyone who supports this story by reading and reviewing and favoriting and alerting and stuff. you guys keep this story going because my gosh look how long it is already. So this chapter we start with a very different point of view that hopefully isn't too confusing. So without further adieu please enjoy Chapter 13!**_

Momoka sat in the middle of Natume's bed in the hotel room wondering just how she could help Natsume and that silly human recognize they're infatuation with each other since apparently they didn't know about it.

She began talking to no one in particular. "What is it about humans being silly and just plain dense? They have to seriously be denser than a tree trunk to not see how they look at each other… Now, I don't know about that human that smiles too much but Natsume-sama… well, I thought he might have been able to see that since he seems to know when people are in trouble and needs his help. I mean, he tends to know when someone else needs help. But I guess that doesn't mean the same thing as when someone thinks that they want to mate with you. Don't humans have pheromones so that they can smell when someone wants to mate with them? Probably not. Humans don't have sense of smells like us youkai do so it's probably silly to assume that they do or if they do that they can smell them. But still, why can't he see that the human that smiles too much really and truly is in love with him? And why can't that human that smiles too much just swallow his pride and tell Natsume-sama that he loves him too?"

She heard some rustling and mumbling in the corner.

"I guess, fat cat's awake," she twittered to herself.

And sure enough the cat youkai wandered over toward Natsume's bed complaining about noise in the morning.

Only a little bleary-eyed from sleep, he tried to hop up on the bed to get to a more comfortable spot to roll back over to sleep, except he couldn't quite get enough spring out of his chubby stubby little legs to propel him up. So instead he opted to climb and claw his way up and finally was able to curl into the soft comforter on Natsume's bed.

Momoka didn't think that Madara even knew she was there. So she just readjusted herself and began once again to contemplate Natsume's predicament.

"I understand that Natsume-sama may not feel too comfortable telling someone his feelings like that but the silly human seems like he would be very straight forward with his feelings… But then again he smiles too much and that's always a sign of something sneaky like a crocodile. And crocodiles don't tell anybody that they love them. They just eat a lot and smile. Maybe I was wrong and crocodile smile human doesn't actually love Natsume-sama. Maybe he just thinks Natsume-sama is pretty and wants to only love his outside but not his inside… or just wants to love one part of his inside."

Then she gasped. "What if crocodile-smile human wants only to eat Natsume-sama? That would be terrible!"

She continued to ramble and twitter to herself for the better part of an hour. There were quite a few choice words that Momoka used in order to describe what she would do to Natori if he ever tried to eat or hurt Natsume.

She worked herself into quite a frenzy until Nyanko-sensei rolled over and yelled, "Stop your twittering or you'd be better to worry about yourself being eaten instead of Natsume!"

She spluttered. "But, fat cat, Natsume-sama may be in danger! We cannot sit idly by as crocodile-smile human eats Natsume for lunch!"

Nyanko-sensei shook his head. "You may be an ayakashi but you sure do have a bird-brain."

Momoka puffed out her chest in indignation. "And just what does that mean?" she shrieked.

"It means that that worthless human wouldn't do anything to Natsume that he feels would put the boy at any risk…"

But then Nyanko-sensei remembered the time at the bath house and how he had practically dragged Natsume there knowing there was a dangerous ayakashi. So he decided to amend his statement by saying, "he wouldn't put him in any real risk…"

Momoka didn't look too sure. "But… but…"

Nyanko-sensei sighed exasperatedly, "Alright think of it this way… Since you call him a crocodile-smile human, do you think he's selfish?"

Momoka didn't have to think long about that. "Yes."

"Selfish people don't like to wait, do they?"

"No, they do not."

"Then why is he waiting for Natsume?"

"… what?"

"Whether you think he's waiting to eat Natsume or 'only love the outside' he wouldn't wait for either unless Natsume is something that is really special."

"You don't think he wants to eat Natsume-sama? Or only want him for his outside and one part of his inside?"

"If he only wanted either of those things he would've taken it by now. And while he probably wants him he wants something a lot more than that."

"What's that?"

"He wants Natsume to not hate him."

Momoka paused in thought. "I see… I see… So crocodile-smile human does care about Natsume-sama?"

Nyanko-sensei rolled his eyes and settled himself once more on Natsume's comforter. "That's what I've been trying to tell you…"

Momoka let out a joyful twitter and said, "Fat cat, you just might be a wise cat."

Nyanko-sensei grunted and seemingly went back to sleep.

Momoka began to once again think about what she could do to help the two silly humans realize their feelings for each other. "Maybe I will talk to the silly human and see what he is thinking. That sounds like a great plan! And then he will see that whatever reasons he has he will think are silly and he will go and confess to Natsume and they will be foreverly happy and gay."

Then she paused. And chirruped a laugh at her own silly play on words and started flapping her wings to take off and find them.

Then she heard Madara mumble something.

Curious she turned around and said, "What was that, fat cat?"

"I said, that filthy human isn't going to listen to you… and for that matter neither is Natsume. They're both convinced that their love is unrequited and nothing you can say will change their minds. You'll have to get one to show the other how he feels otherwise it's a waste of time."

Momoka huffed. "I know that, fat cat. I just want to understand what they mean when they say those silly things like how they don't love each other."

Nyanko-sensei stretched and yawned. "All right. Now leave so I can get some more sleep."

And with that he promptly turned his back to her and began taking deep and steady breaths.

Momoka giggled a little and flew right out the window to find Natsume and Natori.

::::::::::::::::::::

Natori was currently looking on from his chair next to one of the cameras enjoying a nice cup of tea before he had to go back on set for another scene.

Natsume was currently on set for a stunt that Yukiko's character was doing by herself without Natori's character. Currently in the story, Rin and Kyoko had a bit of a spat. Rin had done something or other to piss Kyoko off and Kyoko said something that she shouldn't have and really hurt Rin blah blah blah… oh and there was something about her being betrothed to a yakuza that her father picked out for her. Natori got so sick and tired of the same characters and the same plot lines. The only thing that ever seemed to really change were what the character's looked like and the setting… and even sometimes their names. Everything else was the exact same thing.

The only thing he looked forward to nowadays during shooting was getting to work with Natsume and the different outfits he'd wear.

While acting had been his passion before, there had always been things he rather disliked about the job, like the crazy prima-donna types and the anal retentive directors. But getting up and seeing Natsume in the same type of work that he had filled Natori to the brim with a very steady feeling of contentment. He'd more than likely take any job if he could work side-by-side with Natsume.

He'd do anything to stay by the boy's side, to see him smile, to hear him laugh, to hear that adorable snoring sound and all of the other sentimental crap that's been dancing inside his head since the very first time he'd seen the boy.

Looking back on how he'd first met the boy, he might've been smitten right then and there. Natori had settled in the grass for a quick cat nap in between scenes. It wasn't often that he was in the country side and it made him painfully aware of how long he had been away from the home he once knew. So instead of taking the cot that much-too-eager stage hands had put up for him he decided to lay in the grass like how he had when he was a boy, a boy that didn't have too many cares in the world besides the occasional youkai to deal with.

He was about to sit back up and get back to the set when someone's foot hit him in the shins.

Natori briefly registered blonde hair and a pale skinny frame before reaching out a hand and catching whoever it was that had tripped over him. He remembered thinking, _Ow, that hurt, you stupid kid._

But then his eyes met beautiful golden ones. Specks of brown seemed to swirl and mix within the rich color of the boy's iris. Surprise had clearly marked the boy's features and it seemed for the first time in ages Natori had seen someone so beautiful he could see himself living for them.

And he still wanted to live for Natsume.

Presently, he was looking at Natsume or at least trying to because it was hard to really see him with that huge wig covering his face, back and shoulders. He wished that for once Mimi would forget to put the wig on or forget to put the makeup on in a mad dash to keep Endo from unleashing his rage on them. Then Natsume would stumble out of his trailer looking like Natsume… except in a dress.

But then again, if that happened he wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself (or in appropriate places for that matter).

He watched as Natsume tried desperately to not look at the cameras while waiting for Endo to shout action. And if it wasn't for layers and layers of foundation caked on the poor boys face, he was quite sure that his face would be as red and as cute as a strawberry.

_That poor kid… He's still camera shy and he doesn't even have me there to comfort him. _

Natori was in an extremely good mood despite Endo and despite Yukiko. His and Natsume's tender moment that morning had awakened a little spark of hope deep down in his heart even though he had done his utmost to suppress it.

_Obviously he isn't adverse to the idea of me holding him… but then again maybe he's just attention starved and takes what he can get… But that doesn't sound like Natsume. But then again neither does the idea that he held on to me just because he was enjoying it. Maybe he leaned in just for my sake? Yeah that certainly sounds like something he would do… Shit._

But even with this reasoning he could just barely help a tiny doofy grin whenever he thought of Natsume clutching his shirt and saying his name in such a tentative little voice.

He wondered what the boy had wanted to say and even entertained the thought that he had almost confessed to him. If that crew member hadn't knocked on the door what would have happened?

_Maybe something like…_

"_Natori-san… I…I… I think I'm in love with you."_

_Then I'd scoop him up all dashingly like and say something like, "Well, you should think again because you are in love with me."_

_He'd blush and say my name, "Oh, Natori-san… you're right. I am in love with you."_

_Then I'd dip him and say, "And I'm in love with you."_

_I'd lean in for a kiss then he'd say, "Wait, Natori-san. I've never been kissed before."_

_Then I'd say, "It's okay. I'll be gentle."_

_Then he'd be swooning and saying my name over and over again as I kiss his lips, his cheek, maybe his ear, his forehead. Then I'd say something really badass like, "Natsume, I just want to love you today. Let's go back to our hotel room and skip out on work."_

_He'd totally be embarrassed and make some feeble attempts to try and deny me at first but then he just wouldn't be able to resist me and we'd end up going back for a whole day and night of sweet lovin' and absolute bliss. _

He vaguely heard Endo yell action and looked to see Natsume frozen stiff under the glare and heat of the set lights.

Natsume looked completely distracted as well as distressed. He didn't move an inch even when Endo yelled exasperatedly, "Cut!"

He didn't even look like he was paying attention to Endo as he was being yelled at for wasting time.

But still, Endo shouldn't be yelling at Natsume like that. It was really pissing Natori off.

"Now you get your girly little ass in gear and you make this scene happen, alright?"

Natsume seemed to regain himself enough to manage a nod and some sort of intelligible response.

"Alright. Places, everyone! And… ACTION!"

This time Natsume at least attempted the stunt and had looked pretty convincing except for one fatal flaw. He kept looking at the cameras.

"GOD DAMMIT! CUUT!"

Endo sucked in a huge gulp of breath so he could fuel his voice into a condescending scream and that's exactly what came out.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, NATSUME? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GET AWAY WITH HALF-ASSED SHIT LIKE THAT? HUH?"

Natori felt his face flush with anger that he could normally choke down without much effort. Rage boiled up inside him and he was pretty sure if he had been a kettle, he'd be whistling by now.

And while his anger had to do with Endo screaming at Natsume, Natori couldn't help his heart break at the look on Natsume's face. Anyone else looking at him would've seen nothing wrong since Natsume had such a subdued and neutral look on his face.

But Natori had looked and found such a deeper meaning to it and he couldn't convince himself it meant otherwise no matter what he did.

It was neutral because this had happened before, not just once but frequently. Looking around you wouldn't be able to see such a neutral expression on any of the crews' face and they had been working with Endo for months. And even then whenever Endo would open his mouth there were quite a few cringes and grimaces among the many people who had the pleasure of working on this particular project.

So for Natsume to have such a neutral expression on his face, especially since he was so young, that means that Natsume had been yelled and cursed at like that frequently to the point where it didn't faze him anymore.

_Maybe I'm reading too much into things but… for God's sakes, Natsume, frown, look up at him wide eyed, punch him, hell even cry so I'd have a perfectly good excuse to punch him…_

But Natsume didn't do anything of the kind. He stood there and took it without a struggle. And it was almost enough to make Natori cry.

So they tried again, Natsume didn't perform to the high level of expectations that Endo had. Endo screamed and Natori got exponentially madder and wished with all his might Natsume would look at him and through his eyes he'd be able to tell that Natsume was pleading to Natori to come to his rescue. But he didn't so Natori stayed where he was. Maybe he was just overreacting and that he was acting more or a child than Natsume was.

After that they tried another time. Natsume didn't put his foot in such a way that the cameras would've been able to pick it up and that earned Natsume another string of insults and curses. Natori's hand gripped the edge of the armrest on his chair until his knuckles turned white. He begged to any god that existed that Natsume would show some sort of outward sign that he was rejecting Endo's disparaging and insulting words instead of internalizing them. But he didn't see any.

And after the third time Natsume didn't live up to Endo's expectations of how the stunt should've been done, Natori had to step in. If not for Natsume's sake, then his own. He didn't know how much more he could take, seeing Natsume simply accept every form of verbal abuse that Endo seemed so eager to give him.

"GOD DAMNIT, NATSUME, YOU MESS THIS UP ONE MORE TIME, I'LL-"

"Endo, leave the poor kid alone. You yell anymore you might just give yourself a stroke. Then who would bravely captain this sinking ship with all the grace, dignity, and forgiveness that you clearly possess."

"YOU STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS, NATORI! I'VE HAD IT UP TO HEAR WITH YOU TOO!"

"Oh, and did I forget to mention professionalism to the long list of virtues you so obviously hold? What else have I forgotten about your dazzlingly moral character, Endo? Oh, I remember, you take out all of your frustrations on a boy who out of the goodness of his heart is saving your ass from bankruptcy and becoming a laughing stock of the film industry by taking your abuse, swallowing his pride as a man to wear pumps, and overcoming his camera-shyness to do stunts that could easily leave him bruised. But what the hell do I know? Obviously you're in the right, aren't you, Endo?"

The whole cast and crew was gawking at the unscripted scene playing out before them. No one except Natori had the balls to stand up to Endo… except Yukiko but she was a different story. Even Natsume stared with his mouth hanging open wondering just what exactly had set the actor off like this. He knew now that Natori actually did have human feelings underneath that mask of his and would let them show every once in a blue moon but showing them twice in one day seemed a little too alien to him. But beneath the shock, there was a tiny glimmer of relief that Endo wasn't yelling at him anymore and a little bigger glimmer of happiness that Natori would stand up for him.

Endo spluttered for all of a minute. He was desperately running around in his head looking for words that he could string into a comeback that would make Natori look like the foolish one or the one in the wrong but he couldn't. He knew Natori was right but it didn't matter because he was so incredibly pissed off. Not even normal pissed off but the Incredible Hulk pissed off.

So he reverted to his favorite words and continued the argument.

"FUCK YOU, NATORI! GET YOU AND YOUR BOY-TOY OFF MY SET, PRONTO BEFORE YOU'RE BOTH IN A WORLD OF HURT!"

And Endo had the great pleasure of seeing Natori''s eyes flash with indignation, rage, and maybe even embarrassment.

But Natori got hold of the boy's hand and said, "Gladly."

With that Natori walked briskly off set with Natsume in tow and all of the crew staring after them.

After what seemed to be an eternity of silence one of the cameramen remarked, "What the hell do we do now? We can't shoot anything without those two."

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT YOU PATHETIC ASSHOLES DO JUST DO SOMETHING THAT'LL GET THIS PROJECT DONE FASTER!"

No one knew what that meant but they all made sure they looked busy themselves so as not to incur the wrath of a wounded and jilted Endo.

_**Endo's a bad man. Just kidding he's just really stressed out and doesn't understand when enough is too much. Anyway, I hope what Momoka was saying/talking about wasn't too confusing. But she's a bird so I feel like birds would talk like that. So I hope she made sense and that Nyanko-sensei made sense and basically this entire chapter. I tried real hard. So tell me what you think. *kisses***_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14! Whoo! Done! Oh my gosh. Crazy. Anyway, thank you guys for reviewing and favoriting and alerting and stuff like that. It makes me so happy to see that people are enjoying the story and stuff. And if you haven't reviewed yet feel free to drop one. I appreciate them to the point of love and admiration.**_

_**Also a little heads up for this chapter: I know I've written some pretty sappy stuff in my life... but this chapter takes the Fluff Cake. Just a warning in case you guys wanted a tragedy or deep moving thoughts or something. But if you like sappy lovey dovey stuff by all means, enjoy!**_

Thankfully the walk back to the hotel was short and Natsume only had time to say two things.

"Where are we going?" and "Oh."

Even through the haze of his rage-induced passive aggressive fit that he'd gone through only moments before, Natori vaguely registered that he was in fact walking through the streets of Tokyo holding Natsume's hand. And even though it was with a slightly stronger grip than he would've wanted to hold Natsume's hand with, he was still holding Natsume's hand. If he hadn't just gone and practically chewed out his boss, he would've had the leisure to thoroughly enjoy the feel of his skin touching Natsume's skin. But unfortunately, he had just practically chewed out his boss and he was holding his secret love's hand with a slightly stronger grip than he would've wanted so he wouldn't be able to enjoy any such feelings.

Meanwhile Natsume's thoughts were reeling.

_Why is Natori-san so angry? I mean, I'm glad that he feels comfortable around me enough to show how angry he is now. Gosh, his hand is warm. But why did he have to tell Endo off like that? I mean, I don't think I gave off any kind of signs that it was bothering me and even if it had I don't think Endo was angry at me really. He was just frustrated about the deadline and the scene and the producers. Have his hands always been this soft? And we didn't have to leave the set. I mean there's still a lot more to do before the deadline and storming off like this isn't going to help anything. I wish he'd stop holding my hand though because I'm starting to feel tingly all over. And it was pretty much my fault getting all distracted like that…_

Amidst the mini word battle that Natori had fought against Endo and had decidedly won, Natsume had temporarily forgotten about what had made him so preoccupied. But then again he didn't forget it entirely since the thing that had him so distracted seemed to always seep into his thoughts one way or another. And the thing that always distracted him nowadays was Natori and these strange feelings that kept repeatedly resurfacing whenever something triggered memories of him.

But more specifically while on set Natsume had been immersed in his own thoughts about just what he was going to say that morning to Natori before the stage-hand had knocked on the door…

_What was I going to say?_

But while thinking on this Natsume did know what he would've said to Natori had he been given enough time. And the thought would've terrified him if he hadn't been so caught up in what Natori's hands felt like.

_I wonder if Natori ever uses lotion on his hands. They feel way too soft to be a guy's hand. That's probably the case since he's always pampering himself so much with fancy shampoos and stuff._

Now for the past couple of weeks that Natsume and Natori have been sharing a hotel room, they've also been sharing a bathroom. And whenever Natsume would go into the shower, he'd always get a good look at what shampoo Natori was using. It seemed expensive and would seemingly smell like something girly like Sweet Pea. He had investigated once by flipping open the tab to the shampoo bottle and taking a small whiff. It had indeed smelt like something flowery just as Natsume had thought it would. He, for the last couple days however, had been fighting this small urge to wash his hair with it. But on top of the fact that it would have been taking something that wasn't his without asking permission from someone that (more or less) trusted you, it would've been incriminating and really embarrassing if he were to be caught.

There'd be one count of "Hey, Natsume, that's my shampoo. You didn't ask me before you could use it." And there'd be one more count of "Natsume, why on earth were you using my shampoo when you have some of your own?"

The latter count would be more embarrassing than the former.

_Was I going to tell him how I want to use his shampoo?_ _No, that's silly. Why on earth would I want to tell him about that? …Was I going to tell him that I really like him? Probably. It kind of seemed like the "mood" to do it… or something. Right, that would've gone over fantastically. I'm a boy and I'm in a frilly white dress and I have blue girly shoes on… or maybe that would be better than if I was dressed as a boy. Because two boys are kind of… taboo. Maybe one boy dressed as a girl with another guy isn't so bad? Maybe he'd go easier on me if I was a "girl." _

As wrapped up in his thoughts as he was, Natsume did vaguely register that they were now standing outside their hotel room while Natori fished for the keys in his pockets.

Opening the door, Natori led Natsume inside then gave the door a good hard slam. Nyanko-sensei startled awake and began yelling at Natori saying "You giant brat! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Natori turned briskly toward the pseudo-cat and with a voice a pitch above normal speaking tones said, "You, be quiet." He then turned to Natsume and asked with a slightly gentler tone, "Are you alright?"

Natsume nodded unable to even briefly chase away the storm of thoughts in his head to manage something coherent.

Natori, however, didn't comment on Natsume's choice of response and instead ranted about Endo while pacing the floor. "Endo's such a little creep. You think he'd manage something even remotely more professional for someone he's not even paying. Sure, he can treat the rest of us like horse-shit, but not you! I mean, Jesus, he's working everybody to the bone and now he's screaming at you and-"

Natsume had been half-listening and felt that Endo really wasn't the only one at fault. He cut Natori off saying, "Natori-san, it's alright I-"

"No, Natsume, it's not alright. It's not alright that he was cursing at you at the top of his lungs. It's not alright even if there's a deadline coming up. It's not even alright if he's tired too. We're all tired, Natsume. And have you seen anyone else losing it like that?"

Natsume gave him a look.

"I mean, besides Yukiko? No? That's what I thought. And, I mean, hell. Even I'm losing it a little."

Natsume gave him another look; one that was nothing but amused.

"Okay. Maybe I'm losing it a little more than just a little but yelling at you like that and humiliating you like that in front of the whole cast and crew wasn't only unprofessional it's borderline abusive…" He trailed off trying to calm himself. He sucked in a huge breath then sighed.

He fixed his eyes on Natsume's and managed a weak smile. Then he said, "Next time, promise me that if he says or does anything like that to you again that you give him a good hard sucker-punch. That way, at least, I'll feel better about it."

From the tone of his voice Natsume guessed that Natori was trying to show him that he was joking… but not really joking.

"But Natori-san, I wasn't really paying any attention and-"

Natori cut him off again this time a bit more agitated and hurried. "Natsume, why are you defending him…?"

Natori paused for a bit. When Natsume didn't say anything he decided to clarify. "I'm only half asking this rhetorically. I'm genuinely interested in your reason."

After a pause, Natsume decided on an answer. "I don't think he did anything wrong."

For a long time, Natori stared at him. His face adopted a passive expression as if he were thinking, but Natori eyes seemed to have a little more glisten in them than normal. After awhile Natori's voice, with only a small but still readily noticeable touch of raggedness in it, could be heard within the space of their hotel room.

"That's… your answer? Natsume…"

Natori put a hand to his forehead and bowed his head, shielding his face and eyes from view.

Natsume didn't understand what was going on. _Why is Natori-san acting so upset? That's what I honestly feel. I'm not lying. Does he think I'm lying?_

"Na-Natori-san, what… what's wrong?"

From somewhere in the corner of the room Natsume heard Nyanko-sensei tut. "I almost feel sorry for you, brat."

Natsume turned to look at Nyanko-sensei who had apparently been directing his previous statement at Natori. Then he turned to Natsume while his eyes turned into tiny slits.

"The human is concerned about you, Natsume. He's concerned about your lack of concern for yourself."

The youkai hopped up on the window sill and opened the window. He looked back one more time at Natori and said, "I hate dealing with emotional gushy stuff. That's as far as I'm willing to help you, human, so you're on your own from now on. I'm going to go find someplace with sake and drink myself stupid. You brats can talk about… whatever it is you're going to talk about."

With that, Nyanko-sensei hopped out of the window and disappeared.

A little more than shocked at the youkai's words, Natsume turned to Natori to see what the actor would do next. Natori removed his hand from his face and was staring at the spot on the windowsill where Nyanko-sensei had been.

As soon as he realized that Natsume was staring at him, he quite pointedly looked elsewhere.

"Natori-san?"

"Yes, Natsume?"

"Wh-why are you blushing?"

Natori seemed to jump a little at the question and quite effectively being knocked off his guard. "I'm not blushing, Natsume."

"But you are." Natsume wanted to push the subject because he wanted to see what Natori would do or say. It was so strange seeing Natori like this. His eyes that were always focused on him or on work were now jumping from object to object not remaining on anything for more than a second. His normally calm features were a hot pink and anything but calm. And he was once again fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt.

"Natsume, please. I… this is… weird to me."

_Natori-san corrected himself? In the middle of a sentence? But, he always finishes his thoughts coherently without changing it in the middle. He's just even-headed like that… well, I guess not so much now._

Natsume replied rather offhandedly, "Yeah… weird to me too."

There was a long pause in which nothing was said and both Natsume and Natori didn't move from their own spots. Natsume's thoughts were going a mile a minute about what was going to happen next and if maybe he'd gone too far with prodding the blushing subject which was apparently a very touchy subject.

But finally Natori broke the silence and said, "He's right, you know. The kitty, I mean. I'm worried about you, Natsume, and you always seem to sell yourself short when you really shouldn't."

Natsume could feel his face heat up. _Natori-san's worried about me._

Natsume didn't reply. His heart rate was steadily increasing as Natori's words sunk in. And this feeling that was alien to Natsume started to bloom in his chest. He hardly moved except to clutch the hem of his frilly white dress as a means to ground himself. And his eyes were firmly fixed on a corner in the room. He didn't feel like he could meet Natori's eyes. _How can something so small make me feel like this? It's like this is some over the top romantic dream where there's a happy ending and then you feel really disappointed when you wake up because it never actually happened._

Natori continued, "I mean, you saying that Endo didn't do anything wrong when he… I mean he… it's just…"

Natori seemed to be struggling with trying to find the right word and then completely abandoned the thought altogether and went with a different approach.

"Natsume, look at me."

Natsume really didn't want to look at him right now for fear of what Natori would be able to glean from his facial expression. But once Natori called his name again, this time a tad more urgently, Natsume did look at him. He looked straight into the actor's eyes that shone like rubies and hardly noticed anything else besides what Natori was telling him. Natori's eyes were so beautiful and filled with emotion that it was hypnotizing. It was like Natori was casting this strange spell on Natsume that commanded him to not only listen to every word but to hang onto the words that he heard like they were collectively the life he had secretly wanted. A life where he was needed, where he was treasured and where no one would ever hurt him or hurt others or hurt themselves.

"Natsume, you… you always seem to think that other people's problems matter more than your own. And that's not true. Most of the time you've got bigger things to worry about than other people and simply casting those kinds of things aside just to bend over backwards for someone else isn't a good thing to do. You may be helping out someone else but, Natsume, when was the last time you ever thought about you and what you need? Or if that ever happened?"

Natori paused possibly waiting for an answer or just pausing for effect.

"I don't think you've ever once thought of yourself. Maybe when you were younger but then you grew out of that 'selfish' way of thinking once you 'matured'. I think that you're only concerned about other people. Even when you seem to be thinking of your own well-being that's only because you're worried about how the Fujiwaras would react if something had happened to you. And most of the time that's your only objection to anything. What if the Fujiwaras weren't around to ground you, Natsume? Would you go off and do even more reckless things? Would you not even care what would happen to you?"

Natsume couldn't manage a protest. Natori seemed to make perfect sense and maybe he was right. Plus that strange spell seemed to still be in effect and the strange feeling that had started as a small flicker inside his chest had grown.

Natori resumed speaking. "You need to find some worth in yourself, Natsume. And if you need help I can name a hundred things that I treasure about you. You're not a doormat that people can just wipe their feet on. You're a beautiful human being that breathes and thinks and can get hurt. Please, Natsume. I… care about you a lot and it hurts to think that you don't care about yourself the same way."

Natsume's heart swelled with a mass of contradicting emotions. There was sadness because he'd caused Natori to worry about him so much. Excitement and optimism that maybe he should stick up for himself a bit more. Joy because Natori cared about him enough to half tell him off and half share his feelings with him.

The last emotion was a tad hard to pin down. But he knew its source. Natori had called him "beautiful." It could be meant in an abstract kind of way like he had a beautiful soul. But it could be taken in a more physical sense like he was physically attractive. And both of those thoughts sent strange swirls of warmth to cascade inside his belly and his heartbeat increase just a tad more.

"And it's okay to be selfish sometimes, Natsume. Not everyone's going to know what you need. Not everyone's going to be around to give you what you need. Not everyone's going to make sure you get what you need. So sometimes you need to be selfish and just take whatever it is you need. The only time people get in trouble is when they just take things that they don't need or they just take too much."

_What should I do? I'm so happy. Should I be happy? I guess I can be… because… Natori-san is saying really nice things to me._

"And, Natsume," Natori said, "anytime that you want to be selfish… you can just come find me and I'll spoil you rotten."

With that sentence, Natsume saw Natori smile. It wasn't one of those fake plastered on smiles that fed the masses their daily dose of hot actor god. It wasn't confident and it wasn't sure.

But it was real and Natsume didn't think even a handful of people had ever seen it. It was flustered and looked kind of scared. And Natsume couldn't think of a more beautiful sight to be seen.

For the briefest of moments, Natsume felt emboldened by what Natori said. So he decided to follow Natori's advice and take what he needed.

He didn't ask. He just took it.

Natsume wrapped his arms around Natori and lent in to be selfish for just a little while. But as it turned out, it was a lot more than a little while. Natsume had thought going into the hug that he'd let go after a couple of seconds but as soon as Natori had wrapped his arms around him Natsume didn't want to let go. He felt entirely too safe and warm in Natori's arms and he let himself enjoy it.

_**And that's that for that chapter. Again if you guys feel so inclined I'd happily welcome any feedback you might have. Even if it's constructive criticism, I'm all for that. And thanks for reading. *kisses***_


	15. Chapter 15

_**I... I don't believe it. Chapter 15! and... I think it's... early? See? See what happens when you guys review? It makes me more motivated to keep writing. And look at the word count. It's so much longer than most of my other chapters! I hope it's not too much information to take in though... Anyway, I just want to thank everyone for their awesome reviews because that is the food that keeps me writing and this story going. :D And even if you didn't review and you're just here for the ride, I appreciate it. Because you support Natori/Natsume which is a great pairing! and one last thing, I love you guys. For reals! Thanks so much you guys and please Enjoy!**_

But the magical moment had to come to an end.

Knock knock went the door and just like that Natsume seemed to realize that he was hugging another guy (a beautiful hot sexy Adonis of a guy, if Natori would allow himself to be so bold) and promptly disentangled himself from Natori's arms.

_Great, now he's going to be all flustered and embarrassed and possibly act like this never happened._

However, Natori was mistaken about that. Because instead of turning several shades of scarlet and excusing himself with little more than a bow of his head, Natsume's cheeks were just dusted with a beautiful shade of pink and a grateful and incredibly endearing smile played on his lips.

Natori loved it when Natsume smiled. It seemed to take the edge off of life like no gin and tonic could. Natori couldn't help but melt and smile with him.

When Natsume saw him smile, the boy looked down at his shoes and turned a tad pinker. Then he seemed to suddenly think of something.

"Natori-san…" he said.

"Yes?"

"Do you think we're going to go back to work today?"

"Absolutely not. Not until Endo apologizes."

"But-"

"Natsume, I wouldn't be able to look at him without inventing several different ways that lead to his ultimate demise and if he continued to yell at you like that I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from enacting at least one of them. I wouldn't be able to get any work done and neither would anyone else. I think it's better if we just kept our distance for now and relax."

"…okay. I'm going to go take a shower then and get changed."

"Of course. And I'll see who's at the door."

Satisfied that Natsume wasn't going to fight with him on that particular subject, Natori began to make his way to the door when Natsume stopped him once more by calling out his name. Natori turned to look over his shoulder to see Natsume staring at his shoes still.

"Yes, Natsume?"

"Natori-san, is it okay if I use your shampoo?"

Natori would never in all of his wildest imaginations (and they get wild) have guessed that Natsume would ever ask him something like that. It was innocent but at the same time anything that involved your love interest naked and wet and using something of yours on their body will 9.99999999992 out of 10 times make you think of less than innocent thoughts. In fact they could easily be called dirty.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Go right ahead."

"I mean, it's okay if you're not okay with it, I mean, I have my own shampoo…" The color in Natsume's cheek had changed from that flowery pink to a darker pink that was probably bordering on red but not quite red yet. And it was strange that Natsume was looking him in the face, perhaps not the eye but somewhere close. Normally when Natsume got this red he wouldn't look at anybody. Natsume seemed to be growing and growing every day. _But… still…_

A strange ache stirred Natori's heart. _If you have your own shampoo, th-then why do you want to use mine? I mean, it's not like we're married or anything and what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine… But… we can pretend anyway._

"No, no, no, no. It's totally fine. Go get yourself clean, have a nice shower. Go, go, go!"

_Before I grab you and consummate our not real marriage, you irresistibly adorable too-cute-to-be-real boy you._

Just as Natori was about to turn around to go answer the door and flee before his logic once again left him, Natsume gave him a heartbreakingly beautiful smile and said, "Thank you," before he scampered off to the bathroom. He left Natori staring after him while that strange ache in his heart grew. If anyone had been looking, they would've found Natori with his mouth agape and blushing all the way up to his ears.

_Natsume, I wish you would know what you do to me. Actually I wish I would do to you what you do to me every day and every time I see you. I wish you would get this strange feeling in your heart every time I smile at you. I wish you'd lose your better judgment and do something incredibly dumb and romantic and if I found out I would not be able to take it any other way than that you love me._

Letting out a heavy sigh, Natori turned around and walked toward the door. Upon opening it he saw a small and cute girl dressed as a porter who gave him a smile with much too much dimple. He also saw that she carried a brown paper package.

"Good afternoon, sir," she said with an accent he couldn't quite place. "Is Natsume Takeshi here?"

"Yes, he is but he's in the shower right now."

"Oh, well that's alright. I have package for him. You sign instead?" She offered him a clipboard with a pen.

"Sure."

He took the pen and scribbled down his name while eyeing the package. "Do we know who it's from?" he asked. He would throw it away if it was from Matoba. Lord knows what would be in that package.

The girl smiled cheerily. "I sorry, sir. But I cannot read the characters. But there should be return address that you can see."

"Oh, I see. Thank you."

He took the package and gave the girl back her clipboard. "Have good day, sir."

He smiled and said, "You too."

With one more dimpled smile, the porter-girl turned on her heals and skipped away.

Natori had always found accents cute and wondered briefly what Natsume would sound like with the porter-girl's accent. However imagining it was apparently too much for his little heart to take so he instead returned his attention to the package.

Natori closed the door and looked for the return address. To his relief, it was from the Fujiwaras.

_Wonder why they're sending him a package… or what's in it? Guess I'll just have to wait until Natsume gets out of the shower._

He put the package on the nightstand closest to Natsume's bed then he laid down on his own bed. It was only when he was lying down and feeling the comfort of the bed's softness that he realized just how tired he was.

He could feel himself nodding off but wanted to remain awake at least until Natsume got out of the shower. He felt like he could use a shower too after all the running around they had to do today. In fact, he felt like he was running around so much that sweat from previous days of running still clung to him even though he's taken showers sometimes more than twice a day.

Natori let his mind wander and began thinking about his little pep talk that had happened only minutes before. Looking back he'd said some really embarrassing/creeper-like things to Natsume. Remembering some of his one-liners, he groaned.

'_And if you need help, I can name about a hundred things that I treasure about you'? Wow, Casanova, you really outdid yourself there. I bet he was just weak at the knees when you told him that._

But, at least he'd been rewarded with a hug for all of his efforts. Natori couldn't help what probably looked like a big goofy grin spread across his face at the thought.

However, he was pulled from his pleasant musings by the sound of his cell phone ringing.

_Dammit!_

He looked at the caller ID and it was none other than the pain in the ass director himself.

He flipped open his phone and answered, "The hell do you want, Endo?"

"Natori, come back to the set."

Natori chuckled to himself humorlessly. "And what are the magic words?"

"FUCK YOU!"

"So sorry, Endo, but that's incorrect. The correct answer was, 'Please come back to set so that I can apologize to Natsume for being a complete and utter dick. Then I'd offer to pay him for his services because let's face it, this little project of ours is going to bankrupt without him.'"

Natori could hear Endo practically heaving on the other end of the phone trying to keep his anger in check. "Natori…look I know… I'm just not good at this stuff…"

Natori tsked and said as patronizingly as he could, "Oh, poor Endo. Poor poor Endo. How about you write a biography on all of your struggles like how you cussed out a kid. I'm sure you'll get so many pity points and you'll win a million awards and one day aspiring directors will look to you and find inspiration–"

"Natori, I get it, okay? I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be telling me that. You should be telling Natsume that."

"I KNOW! I know… just… fine. Take the rest of the day off. But promise me you'll at least work on the song… or the dance with the kid… even a little bit. And come back to the set tomorrow. Hopefully, we'll all be a little more apt to get to work then."

Natori sighed a little more than irritably. "And…?" he said expectantly.

Endo huffed as if he were a kid who got his wrist slapped for trying to steal cookies out of a cookie jar. "And I'll apologize to the kid tomorrow. Happy?"

"Exceedingly. Now good bye." And without waiting for Endo's response, Natori hung up.

_Good,_ he thought,_ Endo will apologize to Natsume tomorrow and I can probably guilt him into giving Natsume some sort of paycheck for all the work that he's done. But for all the work he's done, he should get a freaking Nobel Prize. And in the meantime I have to… work on that song. Damn…_

Natori was a man of many talents. He was well-versed in practically all forms of the performance arts. When he was a small boy, he'd often dream of the day when people would listen to him and pay attention to him. The life of an orphan with relatives who didn't really care was a hard life to lead for a boy so young. Seeing youkai and reacting to them brought the kind of attention that was unwanted. It was negative and hurtful.

But once, Natori had participated in the choir club. There was a solo part and Natori had been the only child who didn't get nervous singing in front of people so he'd gotten it. After that, so many of the parents had praised him telling his foster parents how talented he was. He remembered specifically that a look of pride had been on his foster parents' faces. He'd even received a pat on the head.

After that Natori had been hooked. He'd get the solo parts in choir practically all the time and he spent all of his free time practicing each song until he could hit each note perfectly. And his love of performing didn't stop there. He had even gone out for the dance team and the drama club. While dancing wasn't his favorite, it still gave him the chance to be on stage, to be noticed and opportunities like that he'd never want to give up.

Dancing or singing were good forms of escape too but Natori never felt more disassociated with reality than when he would put on a costume that he'd never wear out in public in a normal setting and another person's, the character's, words would come out of his mouth.

For the course of an entire show, he was no longer a freaky kid that saw freaky things, he could be anybody. He could be a wealthy aristocrat who would brave hell for the woman he loved. He could be the son of a loving family who had their quirks which would get them into a whole mess of trouble but would still be there for each other.

He loved theater the most and couldn't imagine wanting to do anything else. So he studied theater in college and had been lucky enough to become as successful as he was. However, he was a little bit rusty in singing and dancing since he poured all of his focus into just theater for quite some time.

_Let's see, I've been using my voice a lot lately so that should make it easier to warm up. _

He sat up and hummed a few scales experimentally. Rusty? Yes. Out of tune? A little. Unbearable? Certainly not.

_What was that warm up our teacher had us do again? We had to sing arpeggios singing mi mi… and then replace the vowel sounds with other vowel sounds…_

So he did just that. He sang arpeggios with the sounds "Ma, meh, mi, mo, moo."

He started singing "moo, moo, moo, moo, moo, moo, moo," when he heard a familiar giggle coming from the bathroom door.

"What are you doing, Natori-san?" Natsume asked. His eyes squinted as he hid his laughing mouth behind his hand. His damp bangs clung to his forehead as they peaked out from under the towel that Natsume draped over his head. He was wearing a pair of casual shorts and a plain white T-shirt. And since Natsume was preoccupied with laughing, Natori had extra time to just admire how handsome the boy was. Not to mention how perfectly sculpted his calves were.

For the past couple of weeks, Natori hardly saw Natsume without his wig or his frilly fru-fru dress. He hardly looked like himself at all lately. The only time Natori ever saw Natsume as Natsume anymore was either in the morning before hair and makeup or in the evenings after Mimi had removed all traces of makeup and put Natsume's wig back in place in his trailer.

So whenever he got the chance, Natori would drink in the wonderful image of Natsume.

He began to think of just how beautiful Natsume was and not just his body. While that was certainly a plus and gave Natori's eyes some comfort after a hard day's work, Natsume was just pure. People's beauty often gets soured by their personality, like some actresses that shall remain nameless because we don't want to embarrass Yukiko. But once you find someone who exudes perfection from their very core, you can't help but wish they'd smile at you once more or if you're so bold want them to stay with you always.

_I wish you could see yourself like I do, Natsume. Then you'd know how truly precious you are and wouldn't take shit from fat directors or anyone for that matter._

Drawing his attention away from the love of his life, he answered before Natsume got weirded out by all his staring. He smiled as he said, "I hope you were laughing at what I was singing and not my actual singing, Natsume."

Natsume walked over to his bed and sat down saying, "No, your singing was okay. I mean, my ears aren't bleeding or anything." And that laughter in his voice was just gorgeous.

Natori couldn't help but laugh too. He liked familiarity. He liked it when Natsume felt comfortable enough around him to drop courtesy and to just joke around.

He adopted a pose of distress by putting one hand to his heart while he touched the back of his other hand to his forehead. "You wound me, Natsume. How could you say something like that to me? You're supposed to say, 'Natori-san, that was beautiful. Please sing some more.'"

To answer all Natsume did was laugh.

Natori wanted to laugh too but he suppressed the urge and instead continued with the "you-hurt-the-actor's-ego" façade. "I'll take that to mean that what I said was ridiculous and that you find my singing terrible to listen to. Oh, Natsume, how could you be so mean? And here I thought you were such a sweet and innocent boy."

Natsume gave him a look. There was still laughter behind his eyes but his face contorted in such a way that was disbelieving and comical.

"Yeah, I'm just the picture of sweet, aren't I?"

Natori chuckled. _I like sarcastic Natsume. He's funny._ "You sure are. But on the inside, you're just a cheeky brat."

Natsume raised an eyebrow almost as if it were a challenge. "Oh, really?"

"Mhmm."

There was a slight pause and the strange expression on Natsume's face didn't waver one bit. Natori was about to warn Natsume that if he kept it up then his face would stay like that but Natsume spoke first.

"Well, if it's okay for you to call me a brat then I guess it's okay for me to call you an old man," he said with the toothiest grin Natori had ever seen him wear… and it was just about the cutest too.

At that point in time, Natori could feel his logic escaping him and he was never happier to see it go. Natori stood up and looked at Natsume with mock-seriousness. "You know, Natsume, you can call me a number of things but…" he paused for dramatic effect, "calling me an 'old man'? That's going a little too far isn't it?"

Natsume stood up too. He pulled the towel off of his head and dropped it on the bed. He was doing his best to mimic Natori's serious expression and not smile but he couldn't help from half-smiling as he said, "It is, huh? What are you gonna do about it, _old man_?"

Natsume put extra emphasis on the insulting epithet.

Natori made his breath hitch as if that were the final straw. "You know… this means war, don't you?"

He adopted a fake fighting stance that he'd just made up and probably looked ridiculous but he didn't care. After all, he just wanted to hear Natsume laugh.

And while Natsume was trying really hard to suppress his laughter it would come out it small bursts during their exchange. Right now he was covering his mouth with one hand and trying to talk but could only just barely make coherent sentences. And Natori was soaking up everything he could and wished that they could always be this comfortable around each other.

"Natori-san," the boy gasped out in between laughs, "how can you keep such a straight face?"

While keeping up his poker face and the ridiculous fighting position he was in, Natori winked at him and said, "Many many years of practice that only an old man like me would be able to rack up."

Natsume couldn't hold in his laughs any more as they burst out of him. At the sound, Natori was hard pressed to not go over to Natsume and put his arms around him and laugh too. In fact, he was just as hard pressed to not laugh. He could feel that overwhelming tickling in his stomach as well as that pull on his lips that threatened to tear a smile out of him yet.

"Oh," Natsume said, "I guess a cheeky brat like me wouldn't understand that."

"That's right. You need to learn to respect your elders."

And then Natsume adopted a silly fake fighting pose too. Probably not as ridiculous as Natori's pose but it was still funny. He even adopted a deeper tone of voice as he said, "Then go ahead. Make my day."

And Natori fell in love all over again.

"With pleasure," Natori growled out before he lunged at Natsume. He saw Natsume's eyes widen in surprise as Natori's weight knocked him back down on the bed. Natori was straddling Natsume's hips and was supporting himself by placing his hands on either side of Natsume's head. And for a few minutes Natori just looked down at the boy with a triumphant smirk on his face.

Natori was sure to not exactly pin Natsume down. He knew that Natsume had been more open lately but he still didn't want to do anything that he'd be too uncomfortable with. So he left Natsume's arms free so that anytime he felt too uncomfortable he could just get up.

"And now," he said eyeing Natsume's waist, "let's teach you that lesson."

Natsume still seemed to be a little taken aback about the whole being pounced on thing but looked up at Natori with a strange mix of curiosity, a little bit of anxiety, and… was that playfulness?

"What are you going to do?" he heard the boy ask.

Natori shifted his weight so he didn't have to support himself with his hands. He made sure to make them visible to Natsume for a few seconds. Then he said quickly, "This!"

And his hands descended as fast as they could on Natsume's unsuspecting belly and began tickling the captured boy.

Natsume was helpless and couldn't stop the laughter that erupted from his throat. Periodically, when he could get enough breath in between laughs, he'd shriek out a "Stop! Natori-san!" but otherwise for quite awhile the only sound that filled the hotel room was Natsume's and Natori's laughter.

Currently, Natori wished he had restrained Natsume's hands now because they were desperately trying to push his arms away. Natori was a lot stronger than Natsume but that didn't mean Natori didn't have to strain to keep his hands where they were.

Natsume even eventually started to kick. Natori didn't know if this was a reflex to being tickled or Natsume was actively trying to kick him to get him to stop. There were a couple close calls where Natsume almost kneed him somewhere extremely sensitive but thankfully they never connected.

But after a while, Natori thought it would be best to let Natsume breathe so he took his hands away from Natsume's stomach. Soon after that, the boy's laughter died down until all that could be heard in the hotel room was Natsume's labored breathing.

"So, are you going to call me an old man anymore?"

Natsume looked up at him with a quirked eyebrow and that infectious grin and said, "If you don't call me a brat anymore."

Natori smiled back at him. Then he shifted so that he wasn't straddling Natsume anymore but he was now sitting next to him. "I guess that's fair. Truce?"

Natsume nodded. "Truce."

"Well, well, well. Isn't that cute?" said a voice coming from the window. And who else would it be besides Nyanko-sensei. His face was completely red, his speech was slurred and he was hiccupping.

_Stupid drunk cat. Why did he come back now of all times?_

Natsume sat up and stared at the cat demon. "Nyanko-sensei? How long have you been there?"

Nyanko-sensei jumped down from the window sill and made his way over to them. It looked like he was having difficulty with walking at the moment. Natori guessed that he had downed at least five of those big bottles of sake just by himself.

Nyanko-sensei chortled as he waddled over to them as if he was in on some secret joke that no one else knew about.

"Oooooooh," he said, "not tooooo long. *hic* just long enough to *hic* see what's reeeeaaally going on with you two." And with that he barked out one more laugh before he settled down on the floor and seemed to drift off a little.

'_What's really going on'? What the hell does that mean? I mean, sure I'm head over heels for him but I don't think either of them know that. I mean, how could they? And just now, what we were doing was something people in a completely platonic relationship would doOH MY GOD!_

At that point in time, Natori had realized that while he was letting Natsume catch his breath they had been in a very compromising position. Because if anyone had walked in on them they would have seen an underage boy breathing heavy on a bed with an older man straddling him grinning like a Cheshire cat. In no way and under no circumstances would that have ever been viewed as platonic.

He dared a look at Natsume.

Natsume's face was still a little flushed from laughing so hard and his expression seemed to portray that he didn't quite understand what Nyanko-sensei was getting at. Actually, Natsume just didn't look confused he looked kind of annoyed. Actually, he looked really annoyed.

He just kept staring at the cat youkai heatedly as if he'd either burn a hole through Nyanko-sensei's cat-like head any minute or he'd find the answer somewhere above Nyanko-sensei's head.

Natori did not want Natsume to find the answer. He wanted to distract him with something. _That's right the package!_

"Natsume," he said, "something from the Fujiwaras came for you while you were in the shower. Uh… why don't we have a look?"

Natsume turned his head to look at Natori with those beautiful gold eyes and said, "Yeah? Where is it?"

"Oh, it's on the nightstand."

Natori pointed to where he meant and Natsume's gaze followed it. When he located it, he reached out and grabbed it. Then he started opening it.

Inside there were packing peanuts surrounding a small cookie tin and a folded note taped to it addressed to Natsume.

The paper the note was written on was adorable. It had sunflowers on it and little bees followed by dotted lines on the side of the page. Natsume unfolded the note and began to read.

Natori definitely wanted to know what was written in the note. However he was a gentleman. And gentlemen did not peek at a private note sent to their loved one. So instead he just watched Natsume's face as he read the note.

At first it was rather neutral. There were sparks of gratitude and tinges of happiness that he glimpsed every so often though. Natsume's eyes skimmed along the page telling Natori that whatever the first part was touching.

But after that, Natsume seemed to be startled by something and his face became more flushed. His eyes were moving a bit slower now taking in each and every word like they were his saving grace.

And then, he seemed to reach the end of the note, and Natsume's eyes didn't move at all. He was just staring at one particular word.

As Natori watched, Natsume's golden eyes started to cloud with tears. And his eyes wouldn't move from that same spot he'd been staring at.

"Natsume?" he called. "What's wrong?"

Natsume jerked in surprise and turned his attention to the actor. And what he did next would no doubt permeate through Natori's dreams for the rest of his life. The boy who had no doubt known hurt more than comfort in all his years of living managed a genuinely happy smile through his tears.

Looking at him was like reading a poem that had a sad but hopeful ending. It breaks your heart, it makes you cry, and you love it.

"Nothing's wrong, Natori-san. I'm… I mean, I… it's just that…. I'm so grateful. And I'm so happy. I really am."

Natsume was furiously trying to wipe away the tears that were trickling down his face by now. "I'm the luckiest brat in the world," he said. He choked out a half-laugh half-sob at his own joke and it was enough to make Natori's eyes sting and threaten to overflow with his own tears.

Natori didn't want to think about Natsume as a love-interest he'd never have at that moment. Not as a boy who was too young for him, not a boy who probably had no romantic interest in him and who always carried around his "pet" cat everywhere. Those things were the furthest from his mind as he wrapped one arm around Natsume's shoulders and tugged him in for a half-hug. Natsume seemed to stiffen a little at first but then quickly relaxed.

"Yeah?" he asked. "And why's that?"

He just wanted to think of Natsume as someone who needed him.

Natori looked down and caught a few words and phrases from Natsume's note. "Hope you're", "Can't wait", "cookies", "we miss", "happy" but one in particular stood out.

At the very bottom of the note it read, "Love, Touko and Shigeru."

Natsume had turned his head slightly so that he was resting it on Natori's shoulder as he answered, "Because I have you, and I have Touko-san and Shigeru-san, and I have a home to go back to. Where I'm missed even and they said they can't wait for me to come back…"

Natsume practically hiccupped out the last sentence. He was so overcome with emotion he just didn't seem to have it in him to keep going.

Natori wished he would've paid attention to the entirety of what Natsume had to say but he hadn't. He was completely stuck on the fact that Natsume had answered, "Because I have you."

_**So, again, reviews are nice and appreciated! And again thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing. And now for something completely different, I might write a one-shot for these two that's Christmas themed once finals and stuff are over so keep a look-out for it! Once again thank you guys so much! *kisses***_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Hello all! It's been awhile... like more than a month. I'm super sorry it's been so long but this chapter was just so stubborn and seemed like it didn't want to be written. I'd be like "Hey, chapter how about this idea?" Then the chapter would tell me I was being dumb and make me re write it from scratch like two times... Then my mind wouldn't let me type the words that I actually meant and then it would sound confuzzling and totally not good and romantic and stuff... But hopefully for all the blood sweat and tears that I put into this chapter it doesn't suck and is in fact enjoyable. So please enjoy Chapter 16!**_

"Because I have you and I have Touko-san and Shigeru-san and I have a home to go back to. Where I'm missed even and they said they can't wait for me to come back…"

Natsume had wanted to say more. He could've talked about how the day before he left for shooting Touko had told him to be safe unless he wanted get a good scolding. He could've talked about how special the Fujiwaras made him feel or how he wanted to protect them. He could've talked about how he couldn't remember a time when someone had actually remembered his birthday. He could've talked about how he had forgotten his own birthday this year until he'd read the note. He could've even talked about how his feelings for Natori had changed in the short time that they'd been in Tokyo shooting and how happy he was when they were together.

He just wanted to say anything because he knew Natori would listen to him.

But try as he might he couldn't stop his tears and wouldn't trust his voice to say anything else. So instead he just let himself rest on Natori's shoulder until he could trust his voice again.

Soon after he'd stopped talking, he felt warm soft fingers through his hair. It was such a familiar gesture by now.

He remembered when he'd first met Natori and when he had first given his head a pat.

It had felt so strange and awkward like it had when any of his other relatives had done it. It felt like superficial kindness. No one actually wanted him. It was only because they had to. Who'd willingly want a freak like him around? But they'd always try and save face and do something friendly… like a pat on the head.

But then the Fujiwaras were so nice to him. Touko would make him lunch every day. Shigeru would often come home from business trips and get him a little souvenir.

Then Touko would scold him for being reckless or for not finishing his lunch. No one had ever done that before. Was it strange to feel happy about that?

Then Shigeru had given him a pat on the head. It didn't feel the same as the other ones. He knew there was real kindness behind it and it made him feel special… loved.

Then Natori patted his head a second time. It didn't feel strange. It felt kind of nice but still a little awkward.

But now these gentle gestures were a sure fire source of comfort and if he would be honest with himself it made him want to cry more.

So for awhile, Natsume didn't say anything and neither did Natori. And for that while Natsume wasn't plagued by many thoughts outside of how comfortable he was just sitting there and having Natori run his fingers through his hair.

But then a very prominent thought made itself known in what would otherwise be an empty mind. And that thought coupled with Natsume's strong senses of courtesy and respect for his foster parents was the only thing would be strong enough to make him even think about the possibility of pulling away willingly.

So he broke the sweet silence with what sounded like his rough voice. "Natori-san, I should probably go and call them. To thank them for the package."

"Hmm?" The actor's voice vibrated through his vocal chords and Natsume could feel it. It was alien to him but it still felt nice.

"Um, I should probably go thank them for the package."

Natsume wondered if Natori could feel the vibrations from his throat too.

"Who?"

Natsume was much too distracted by the feeling of Natori's voice to realize that Natori sounded as distracted as he himself was.

"The… the Fujiwaras."

"Oh… right. That sounds like a good idea, I guess."

Neither of them moved for a few seconds until Natsume's internal clock of how much time it's okay to be selfish ran out. So Natsume got up from his very comfortable place next to Natori and made his way over to the phone which was only on the nightstand right next to the bed. But Natsume felt like he wouldn't be able to form coherent sentences if he kept hanging on Natori. It'd be much easier to think if he were standing. Away from Natori. Where he wouldn't feel distracted by Natori's voice. And he was so focused on his own thoughts he missed the look of disappointment on the actor's face.

While dialing the Fujiwaras' number Natsume heard the bed creak and footsteps that seemed to be heading to the small kitchenette they had in the hotel room.

It rang only once until he heard a sweet and familiar voice over the phone. "Hello. Fujiwara residence."

"Um, hello, Touko-san. It's… it's me."

Touko's voice seemed to reach a pitch at least an octave higher in excitement. "Takeshi! Oh, Takeshi. It's certainly been a while, hasn't it? How are things? Did you get your package?"

Natsume fought down the waves of emotions that washed over him remembering the note and the package and how much it really meant to him.

"Yes, I did. And I really appreciate it. Thank you so much."

"Oh, Takeshi, there's no need to thank me. It is your birthday after all. I'm so sorry you couldn't be home to celebrate it. But I suppose we'll just have to throw you a big party with all of your friends once you get back. Oh and at least you have that Natori fellow with you so you won't have to spend your birthday all alone."

Natsume blushed. Then he smiled. "You're right. It's certainly not a boring birthday."

Touko giggled. "Well, that's good. As long as it's not too exciting. Remember it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Especially in a job like what you're doing, Takeshi. You are taking good care of yourself, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

"And you're getting enough to eat? Are you eating enough vegetables? And protein?"

Natsume smiled wider. "Yes, yes. They make sure we get enough to eat and make sure it's not anything too unhealthy."

"Good. Good. And make sure to eat all of the cookies that we sent. I don't want to see a single one again. They all either need to be inside your tummy or Natori-san's tummy or Kitty's tummy, alright?"

"I understand completely."

"Good." Then there was a pause. Then Touko let out a distressed "Eeeeeh?"

Natsume asked worriedly, "Touko-san? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, yes. Everything's fine. I just forgot I had something boiling on the stove when you called. I'm sorry, Takeshi but I think I'll have to hang up now."

Natsume felt relieved and said, "That's alright."

"But you should call us more, Takeshi, so I won't have reason to worry my head off. Oh and once you try the cookies tell me how they are. I made a variety so tell me your favorite kind and I'll make a fresh batch for when you come home."

_Home…_

"I-I will. Thank you again. I'll be sure to call again. So, goodbye."

"Goodbye, Takeshi."

Natsume hung up the phone and fought back tears. _Home… She said home twice… My home's with them._

"Natsume?" he heard Natori say from somewhere behind him.

Natsume turned and met Natori's eyes.

Natori's brow creased in what looked like worry as he said, "Are you alright?"

Warmth bloomed in Natsume's chest. "Yeah. Totally fine."

He reached down to grab the tin of cookies that Touko had sent him. He opened it and saw quite an assortment of delicious looking cookies. There were chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, sugar, and peanut butter cookies.

He carefully selected a chocolate chip cookie then held out the tin toward Natori.

"Um… Want one?" He asked with what he hoped to be a calm smile and not a giddy one.

Natori's concerned expression melted into a soft smile. "No thanks. Didn't Touko-san make those for you? I don't think she'd appreciate it if I ate something that she worked so hard for if it was meant for you."

"But when I was talking on the phone with her she said to share."

Natori blinked and his smile grew wider as he asked, "Really?"

Natsume nodded. "Yep. Besides she said she'd make more for a party… that she'd throw me…"

As Natsume was talking, his eyes drifted away from Natori. He was about to lapse into melancholic thought about how much Touko could give him through little things like this and how he couldn't remember if he ever had a birthday party thrown in his honor when Natori started to speak again.

"Oh? What's the occasion?"

Natsume replied without really thinking about his response. He said, "My birthday…" but his mind had wandered into different territory like how much fun it'd be with all his friends over and if they were too old to play some of the birthday party games he remembered hearing about other kids talking about when he was in elementary school. He was about to move on to thoughts about how maybe there'd be decorations and those confetti poppers and how he always wanted to try and pop one when he heard Natori's voice again.

"Your… birthday?"

It was a quiet question as if Natsume's previous statement had shocked the actor into almost silence.

Natsume looked up to see Natori looking at him. The actor's expression was really blank and it unnerved him. He didn't know how to answer the question or if he was even supposed to answer the question. He didn't know what else to do besides answer, "Yeah."

Natori smiled which put Natsume a little more at ease. "When?" the elder man asked.

"Today actually… I guess I just kind of forgot about it since we're all so busy with shooting and all that." He wasn't going to add that he hadn't put any real value into the day since he thought no one else would remember it.

Natori walked over to the boy with a much warmer smile and tousled his hair. He said, "Happy birthday then, Natsume. Sorry I didn't get you anything. You should've told me. I could've gotten you a present or at the very least I could've convinced Endo to let us take the day off from the get-go."

There was tenderness in Natori's voice that made Natsume blush.

He managed a smile of his own as he said, "No, you shouldn't worry about that. Besides, this is the best birthday I remember having for a while…"

Natori frowned and was quiet for awhile. Natsume looked into the actor's eyes to see if he could find why he was frowning. But he guessed it had something to do with what had happened earlier that day with Endo.

He decided to clarify that he meant it was better once they had gotten back to the hotel room.

Natori only left the frown on his face for merely a second more until he put a smile on. But Natsume couldn't see it in his eyes.

"Well… good," Natori said. "Glad to hear it…" There was a pause. Natsume couldn't glean anything from Natori's expression or his eyes that would indicate what the actor was actually thinking. And it bothered him.

Then Natori said with that same smile, "How old are you turning?"

Natsume hesitated for a moment because for that split moment he forgot exactly how old he was. Then he remembered and said, "I'm 18 today…" then he giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking that I'm pretty old now. I'm almost as much of an old man as you are." He hoped that the joke would make Natori laugh and that then his smile would reach his eyes and so he wouldn't have to look at blank eyes that bothered him. And thankfully, that's what happened.

Natori laughed. It was clear and melodic and real. Then he swung an arm around Natsume's shoulder and tousled his hair again with his other hand. "Hey now! I'm not that old and neither are you."

Then Natsume heard that overly-dramatic tone in Natori's voice as he said, "We're still young and full of life and have at least another good fifty years ahead of us. Wouldn't you say, my dear young man?"

"I would say that," Natsume answered laughing.

He liked this. He couldn't really put his finger on what this was but he knew he liked it. He was joking around with Natori almost like how Nishimura or Kitamoto would joke around with each other. Natori was smiling a real honest to goodness smile and he was laughing. Natsume had even been the one to make him laugh.

He offered the cookie tin again and said, "Take one before Nyanko-sensei gets to them."

Natori chuckled and picked one out of the tin. Then he knocked their cookies together like some kind of toast and said, "Cheers."

Then the actor sat on his bed and nibbled on his treat. Natsume watched as the actor's eyes lit up and he complimented Touko on her culinary skills. Natsume's heart swelled a little with pride. It's not like he had made the cookies but having someone you care a lot about compliment someone else you care a lot about is bound to make anyone happy.

Smiling and taking a bite of his own cookie, Natsume made his way over to Natori's bed and sat next to the blonde actor.

After a few beats of silence, Natori had said something. Then Natsume had answered. Natori had come back with something witty and they both laughed. The process repeated for quite a long time until it could've been described as friendly conversation. And the best part was that they didn't converse about youkai except for Nyanko-sensei and sometimes Hiiragi made her way into the conversation. They talked about favorite types of food, movies, Natsume's friends (since Natori seems to have had a lack of friends these days), books, music anything that actual normal people talk about.

They were about half-way through the cookies when Nyanko-sensei had shown up and demanded the rest. And without any more warning he simply took them all. Natsume had chased Nyanko-sensei around the room while Natori had just sat back and laughed.

But then after awhile Natsume had gotten really tired. He felt all of the work that had been put into this past week and what little work they had gotten in today. Natori seemed to have picked up on that and told the boy to go to bed and get rest while he can since they were going back to work tomorrow. Natsume had nodded and went to bed.

But Natori was still up… thinking. He thought about the day and how so much had happened in such a short amount of time and how much he had learned about Natsume. Especially those very dangerous pieces of information… Natsume's birthday and age.

Needless to say Natori had been surprised to learn that it had been Natsume's birthday today. He was also a little sorry that he hadn't known about it and had pulled a dashing and incredibly romantic stunt by surprising Natsume with a present that would have been completely heartfelt and may or may not have reduced Natsume to happy tears.

Also he had been completely surprised at how old the teen was.

_I could've sworn he was at the most sixteen. He looked like he'd actually be around fifteen though. But he's eighteen which means he's legal…_

Natori had originally had three problems with trying to pursue Natsume and one of them was that he was a minor. But since that didn't apply anymore, was Natsume fair game? Could he possibly get away with shamelessly flirting with Natsume in the hopes that the boy would eventually return his feelings? What were the other problems again?

Natsume didn't like him in that respect… and kitty was always around.

Natori looked to see that kitty had taken a spot right next to Natsume on his bed and the two were snoring quite peacefully away.

Thinking about it presently, Natori couldn't quite see what had made him think that was a problem in pursuing Natsume. Looking back on the day's events it actually seemed like Kitty wanted the two of them to get closer (probably strictly platonically speaking but Natori would take what he could get). Kitty had helped him today and hadn't really gotten in his way trying to talk or get to know Natsume better (except for when kitty had come back drunk).

So Natori decided to not count Kitty as a problem. Which left only one obstacle left… Natsume's feelings.

If anyone had asked him if he thought Natsume could ever have any kind of vaguely romantic feelings for him he probably would've said no. And if Natori would be honest with himself, even if that same person had asked him two days ago the same question Natori still would've answered in the negative. But he felt like he had grown so much closer to the boy and had gleaned a small sense of hope that maybe one day Natsume would return his feelings.

So maybe all wasn't lost. Maybe he could dig through the countless miles of baggage that Natsume had accumulated over the years to find a small glimmer of attraction. But how would he go about doing that?

There were several options. Option number 1: flat out tell Natsume he's been harboring a deeply rooted love for him for quite some time. Option number 2: Do nothing like he has been doing (or has been trying to do) and see what happens. Option number 3: tell Natsume nothing but catch him off guard one day in a fiery passionate kiss and hope a spark will set the boy's heart aflame with desire (Natori made a mental note that this would be the most desirable choice but the least logical one and the least likely it would work). Or last but not least option number 4: say nothing but try and prompt Natsume in the right direction and wait for a reaction. Prompting would mean casual flirting, dropping hints here and there and making physical contact a more day-to-day routine and less of a sporadic routine that they had going currently.

But Natori for the life of him didn't like any of them. None of them were perfect and each had their own lovely little hell that went along with it should it fail.

Option number 1 failed: Natsume would get grossed out and never want to speak to him again. Or Natsume would decline and things would be awkward until finally they never speak to each other again. Option number 2 failed: nothing happens and he ends up old and lonely without anyone to keep him company except his youkai servants. Option number 3 failed: Natsume punches him. Or Natsume is disgusted with him. Or (God forbid) Natsume cries. (Natori made a mental note that this could possibly have the worst set of hypothetical events and promptly threw out that option altogether). New option number 3 failed: Natsume would get confused which would be dangerous because even if Natsume had feelings for him it might mislead him to think that Natori was just teasing him.

It was these kinds of thoughts that plagued Natori as he sat there watching Natsume sleep. That is until he heard a familiar rapping sound on the window.

He looked and saw Momoka fluttering around on the window sill looking to get in. With a sigh Natori got up and let the bird youkai in. But he signaled her to be quiet and motioned at Natsume's sleeping form. Momoka with a serious look on her face nodded and hopped carefully inside and didn't make a sound.

But she couldn't be quiet for too long. She asked in a hushed tone, "Where were you? I flew all around and tried to find you and Natsume-sama so you could talk about your feelings but I couldn't find you."

Natori shook his head with a smile and whispered, "We were at work but then our boss got me angry which made me make him angry in turn so we came back here."

Momoka seemed strangely delighted with the idea. "Oh, so has there been a chance or two for bonding? Hmm?"

Natori looked once more at Natsume. "Yes. There has been a chance or two for bonding. But nothing too special. We just talked a lot."

"And?" Momoka pressed.

Natori gave her a rueful look and said, "Well I'm more head over heels than I thought I was. And I have no idea what to do next."

Momoka nodded and hummed in contemplation. Then she said, "Crocodile-smile human should rest. I heard somewhere that humans think better after they rest. So that's what crocodile-smile human should do."

Natori nodded. "I think that's the best idea I've heard all day."

_**I just realized that I spent like practically five chapters on the same day. Poor boys I put them through that entire roller coaster ride of emotions in just one day? They need a break. :D Anyway reviews feedback and the like are always welcomed and encouraged. So please tell me what you think? *kisses***_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Hey, guys. It's been awhile... (Don't hate me...) so... Thank you for everyone who was reviewing and favoriting and stuff like all that good stuff. It's super awesome whenever I get notifications that tell me people are still reading and liking this story! XD**_

_**oh, also it was brought to my attention that I was spelling Natsume's first name wrong. I was spelling it Takeshi and not Takashi. at first i thought that either way would've been fine but then I looked up the meanings of the names and apparently they are in fact different. Apparently Takashi means fidelity and other good stuff like that and Takeshi actually means like military and army... so I'm guessing that Midorikawa was intending the first meaning when she picked Natsume's name. So I apologize for spelling his name wrong. XD but I spelled it right in this chapter! Better late than never right?**_

_**So anyway, please enjoy Chapter 17!**_

The next morning Natsume and Natori found themselves on set. It wasn't at their normal sets where they were either in the middle of the streets of Tokyo or out in a field somewhere doing stunts. It was inside in a gorgeous and ornate ballroom at one of those ritzy hotels.

And as soon as they got there, Natori got a hold of Natsume's hand and dragged him to Endo.

"Endo! You slimy son of a bitch! Look who it is!" Natori said as he spotted the director. Natsume winced. Natori had called him such an insulting term with the sweetest of tones. How does he do that?

Natori abruptly stopped when they got within conversational distance of Endo. Endo didn't look very pleased and had his arms crossed over his chest. Natori tugged Natsume's hand so that he was standing right beside the actor. Looking at the actor's face, Natsume saw a dazzling smile. From what he could tell the smile was real but Natsume still felt that the actor was hiding a big chunk of his real feelings somewhere deep inside.

"Decided to show up, huh? You ungrateful rat bastard?" Endo said.

Natori chuckled without any humor in it at all and said, "Is that really anyway to talk to your lead actor, Endo? You seem to treat Yukiko with so much more respect. In fact, is that the only way to get respect from you, Endo? To scream and cry and threaten to leave if I don't get my way?"

Endo blanched. But then his face returned to an indignant red color as he said, "Don't you start this with me, Natori!"

Natori raised an eyebrow at that and said, "Right, right. Sorry. I forgot that was a touchy subject. Anyway, we're both back and ready to shoot but I do believe that you have something to say to our wonderful Natsume, don't you?"

Natsume knew this wasn't the time or the place but he felt a tad of the anxiety from the conversation ebb away when Natori called him wonderful.

Endo looked at Natsume and his expression softened a bit. He scratched the back of his head and said in a more neutral tone, "Right. Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday, kid. It wasn't anything personal it was just because of the heat and the deadline and all that jazz."

Natsume's eyes quickly glanced at Natori to find that he was looking at him with a rather expectant and slightly pleased look on his face. Natsume quickly returned his gaze to Endo and smiled. "It's okay. I understand."

All of whatever tenseness had been left in Endo completely vanished and he said, "Good! Now go find Mimi so we can get you into costume and makeup! We got to make up for lost time!"

Natsume nodded and said a "Yes, sir" before going and trying to find Mimi.

As he scampered off, Natori's eyes followed him. Even when he was out of sight Natori's eyes stayed where he had last seen him.

He heard Endo say, "When I said, 'get into costume and makeup' I meant you too."

Natori turned a white and blindingly bright smile to Endo and said, "I was just about to do that but y'know… I think Natsume deserves a little compensation for all of the work he's been doing for us. Don't you agree, Endo?"

"What the hell are you talking about Natori?"

"Well, you see, yesterday I learned that it was Natsume's birthday…"

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When Natsume found Mimi, she was going through a large rack of men's vests and looking at their tags then either draping them over her elbow or putting them back on the rack.

"Mimi!" he called.

She turned around and greeted Natsume with a wave of her hand and a smile. Through their time together, Natsume and Mimi had developed a sort of professional friendship. Natsume learned that it was important to find a friendly face in the work-place and thought that Mimi and he got along well. And Mimi didn't stutter as much around him anymore as she had when they had first met so that must mean she had gotten more comfortable around him.

"Natsume-kun! Good morning! How is everything today?"

Natsume trotted up to her and smiled. "Good. What are you doing?"

At the question, Mimi lit up as if the answer to the question pleased her. "I'm glad you asked. In fact I'm pretty sure you'll be excited about the news too."

"Yeah? What would that be?"

Mimi giggled. "Well, I was talking to Endo this morning and he said that this scene that we're shooting wouldn't require any stunts from Yukiko-san's character. So that means you don't need to dress up like a woman today!"

Natsume blinked almost not believing her.

"Isn't it exciting? Oh, and he also said that if you wanted you could fill in as an extra in the scene. It'll be a big ballroom dancing scene so you'll be able to be dressed as a boy! But it's a rather black-tie affair, as they say. So you'll be wearing nice clothes and you might even meet a pretty girl to dance with!"

She giggled. Natsume didn't know what to say. He had been wearing women's clothes so much lately it just seemed weird to go and be in front of those cameras without makeup, or a dress, or that wig. But he decided to be happy about it because he thought that men's clothing was much more comfortable than the women's clothes that he'd been wearing.

He smiled and said, "Okay. So what will I be wearing?"

She thoughtfully put her index finger to her lips. "I was thinking that since you were such a young guy, I thought that maybe you wouldn't wear a suit but instead a nice shirt with a vest and a nice pair of trousers. Sound good to you?"

He nodded and Mimi got to work.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"So… you want me to pay money for the cake?"

Natori laughed. "You can if you want to. I mean, you did cuss him out on his birthday and all."

Endo narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brow. "Okay, okay. You don't have to guilt-trip me into it. Just tell me what kind of cake you want and I'll send someone out to get one at the nearest bakery."

Natori thought for a little. For whatever reason, Natori thought that Natsume would be a vanilla cake and a strawberry topping kind of guy. So he told Endo to get a few cakes if they were going to be celebrating in front of the whole cast and crew. No one liked to be left out of a party. Maybe one chocolate and one vanilla and one vanilla with strawberries on top.

Endo made a sour face but conceded. "Now you get ready. We're still going to shoot these scenes, Natori. Even if it's the last thing that I do! We're almost done! We only have a few scenes to shoot after this! Then we're done!"

"Uh, yeah. I'll go get ready then."

Natori turned and went to go find his stylist. As he walked he kept thinking about what Endo had said.

_We are almost done. It's so weird. I'm only half-happy that this nightmare is almost over. I'm actually half-sad to see it go._

Even if Natori were to feign ignorance as to why he had conflicting emotions on the subject, he knew exactly why he was partially sad to see it go. This whole excursion had served as a bonding experience for Natori and Natsume. He'd grown so much closer to the boy. He half-wished that they could stay in Tokyo and do this kind of work together all the time. But he was pretty sure Natsume missed his foster-parents like crazy and probably missed his friends too, human and youkai alike.

All Natori could do to alleviate this slight sinking feeling in his heart was to assure himself that he would make the best of the time that they had left together on this stupid little project.

But he was brought out of his thoughts by someone calling his name.

He turned around and saw that it was Natsume's stylist who was calling him. What was her name again? Was it, Mimi?

He decided to skip the name and just ask, "Yes?"

"Natori-san, umm, could you give us a little help? You see, Endo wanted Natsume in nice and stylish men's clothing today and um… you-you see the problem is… is that well, neither Na-Natsume nor I know how to tie a tie. So... could-could you h-help us?"

"Men's clothes, huh? Sure."

"Great!"

Natori didn't really give any thought to Natsume in men's clothes since Natsume had always worn men's clothes. But after he saw Natsume, he'd give it a lot more thought then he ever would have thinking about Natsume in women's clothing.

The pieces that comprised Natsume's outfit were rather simple if not expensive looking. He was dressed in a light gray button down dress shirt with a darker pair of gray trousers. He also wore a perfectly tailored vest that was the same shade of gray as the trousers. As Natori just stood there and looked at him with an expression that would just barely be incriminating, Natsume was playing with a violet tie.

Natori had never seen Natsume dressed like this before. It was sophisticated, masculine, and suave unlike the jeans and T-shirts he normally saw the boy in. The vest that clung to his waist and chest made him look lithe and sleek instead of skinny and scrawny. And when Natsume turned to look at him and their eyes met, Natori was sure that even Natsume would be able to read the attraction in his eyes. He couldn't keep it down. He couldn't hide it behind the broken mask that he normally tries to hide behind. Natsume has been slowly and meticulously tearing pieces of it off since the day he came to set. There were big gaping holes in it now… Might as well not even bother trying to put it on.

Natsume was just… He was just… He just looked so…

… _hot._

Mimi was quite confused as to why Natori was just staring at Natsume. She decided that maybe Natori was tired. So she said, "Umm… Natori-san… why don't you help Natsume-kun with the tie and I'll get us all some coffee? Does-Does that sound good?"

Natori started a little as if he was mentally shaking himself from a trance. He looked to her and smiled. "Yes. Thank you that sounds wonderful."

She returned the smile and walked away.

When Natori returned his gaze to Natsume, the boy was looking down and his face was a little flushed. He was still playing with the tie.

"Should I help you with that?" Natori asked. It was a dumb question but he didn't feel right just stepping into Natsume's personal space without permission when the boy was acting like this.

Natsume looked up and nodded. Natori walked over to him and took the tie from his hands.

He wasn't even going to think about it. He would just tie the tie and then step away from him. He still didn't know what he wanted to do next in terms of pursuing Natsume or not. And he wasn't going to think about it. He wasn't going to even think. Not about the tie. Not about Natsume. Not about the way he could feel those beautiful eyes on him. Not about how he always wanted those beautiful eyes on him. Not about how he could hear Natsume breathe in and out. Not about how he could almost feel Natsume's warm breath on his skin… And definitely not about stepping closer so he could better feel it on his neck…

But as he tried to not think about those things, he did. As he tried to quickly tie the tie and then step back before he did something stupid and would regret later, he tied the tie slowly and explained exactly what he was doing so that Natsume would know how to tie a tie when Natori wouldn't be around. He even untied the tie and told Natsume to try and tie it. And he didn't move from that spot.

Natsume had tried but it didn't look half as good as the one Natori had tied. Then Natsume had asked him to show him again. So Natori did. Natori tried to do it quicker this time but somehow it came out slower than when he had first shown Natsume.

He finished and told Natsume to try and tie it again. Natsume fumbled with it a little but ended up with a pretty decent tie.

"You did it," Natori said with a smile.

All Natsume did in answer was smile and laugh that nervous laugh of his. Natori was going crazy. There was no way one boy could be so handsome and irresistible.

Natori thought that maybe he would go crazy if he didn't touch the boy somehow. He briefly thought of a kiss. It would feel nice and maybe Natsume would think so too. And even if he didn't, for that split-second or second-and-a-half or whatever time Natsume would afford him before he would push him away in disgust, Natori would feel that Natsume was his. Even if he could have that split second, would it be enough?

He didn't know and he didn't want to take the risk because more than he wanted it, he needed Natsume to smile at him like that. He was certain that if Natsume never smiled at him that he would go crazy.

So Natori settled with patting the boy's head.

He muttered a "You look good," or something like that and he was graced with the sight of a really red-face Natsume that was still smiling. And from the way he could feel his face stretching into an unbidden smile all by itself without any help or hindrance from himself, he filed the picture away in his mental files under, "will make me feel better even on the roughest days."

"Hey, guys, I got the coffee!"

Mimi came up to them and handed each one a Styrofoam cup with the delicious smelling brew inside.

Before he started show business, Natori had had only one love: himself. After he started show business, he had only two loves: himself and coffee. But that changed after he met Natsume. Now he had one love (Natsume) and a small affair on the side (coffee).

He said a quick "Thank you," to Mimi and took a sip of the lovely liquid that's allowed him to do so much with so little sleep. He hummed with pleasure as he felt hot yummy coffee slide down his throat. He'd be wide-awake and perky before anyone knew it.

He faintly heard Natsume thank Mimi and express surprise that Mimi had remembered how he took his coffee.

Natori started to feel a tad jealous. Why didn't he know that?

He glanced over and saw Natsume take a sip of his own coffee. Natori suddenly thought of a wonderfully wicked and desirously dangerous idea. If he went over and kissed Natsume, he would taste Natsume and coffee… and coupled with how good Natsume looked in that vest he knew he couldn't stay for much longer without something happening… something incriminating and that could potentially mess up everything.

So he politely excused himself, saying he should go and find his stylist before Endo found him without makeup and costume on.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Later the entire cast and crew were gathered in the center of the massive ballroom as Endo goes through the plan for the day.

"So we still have to shoot scenes with Natori and Yukiko outside meanwhile the rest of you will be learning how to dance!"

There were some groans of resentment, some happy cheering and some whispers of "What the hell? When did this happen in the script?"

"Shut up!" Endo called when there were too many whispers. He then turned and gestured to a rather peppy looking girl in a tank top and sweats to come forward. "This is Jenny. She flew in from the States and is going to be our choreographer. Be nice and do everything she says."

Jenny stepped up and said in almost perfect Japanese, "Hi, everyone! I'm super-excited to be here and hope that we all get along! Now let's get started! Everyone who's in this next scene with the ballroom dancing, follow me!"

With that she bounced off stage.

As Natori was following Endo out of the ballroom, he asked him, "When are they going to get here?"

Endo scrutinized him. "What? The cakes? I don't know. Why?"

"…"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You just want to stall so you won't have to shoot this next scene with Yukiko, right?"

"Look at you! When did you get so smart?"

Endo punched Natori in the shoulder. Natori let it slide. However not without another stock sarcastic remark that he had just in case.

:::::::::::::::::::::

"So… what you've, like, never danced before?"

"It's not like I've never danced before. It's… I've never danced before."

The tiny young woman standing beside Natsume looked a little miffed. But then quicker than anyone could say, "Look out!" her scowl was replaced by a sour smile and she said, "Well, that's okay. I mean, I'm pretty good at dancing so you can just, like, follow my lead or whatever."

"Right," he said managing a smile through his discomfort.

"I'm Kita Miyu, by the way."

"Uh, Natsume Takashi. Nice to meet you."

"You can totally call me Miyu because it's totally a pretty name. So… I can call you Takashi, right?"

Something in this girl's eyes made him feel uncomfortable. He remembered feeling like this when he had been the store clerk for the Culture Festival at their school. In fact a lot of the girls that had come up to ask him how much some things were had that same look in their eyes. And it made him just as uncomfortable now as it did then.

But he didn't want to hurt her feelings and didn't really see the harm. So he nodded and prayed the dance instructor would start soon.

And she did.

"Alright everyone. Settle down. Today we're going to teach you a little ballroom dancing. Now you don't have to be amazing at it but you still gotta get comfortable with it. So let's begin!"

And they did. Jenny and her partner would show them the steps on a stage that was set up in the ballroom while the extras were on the floor. Some other instructors would walk around and give pointers and helpful tips.

Natsume never wanted to stop doing something so much in his life. He kept messing up and he kept accidently tripping or stepping on Miyu's toes. And not to mention how uncomfortable he was holding someone he didn't know well this close. And she still had that look in her eye that made it a million times more uncomfortable.

He wanted to just stare at the ground. But he couldn't because he couldn't look down without looking at Miyu's…. they were dancing so close together that their… chests were touching and he couldn't look down and not look at… he just couldn't look down. And he didn't know where else to look. He felt embarrassed if he looked at her and he felt like he was ignoring her if he looked away. So he kind of compromised and looked at her shoulder instead.

She'd often have something to say.

"Takashi-kun, you can look at me y'know."

"Takashi-kun, you're supposed to step with your left foot next."

"Takashi-kun, you're supposed to be leading."

"Takashi-kun, you're hand is supposed to be flat against my back not all limp and not on my back like whatever you're doing right now."

Takashi-kun, Takashi-kun, Takashi-kun…

He didn't know why this girl wanted to use his name so much. Not even any of his best friends called him by his first name. Well, that was kind of a lie since Nishimura and Kitamoto sometimes called him Takashi-kun. But that was only when they were imitating their parents.

He'd gone over to each of their houses for a little and had met both of their parents. Afterwards, Nishimura and Kitamoto would sometimes bring up the fact that their parents had wanted Natsume to come over again. Especially Nishimura's parents.

One time Nishimura had said, "They said you were a good influence on me or something. They approved of me hanging out with you because," here he had adapted a near-perfect imitation of his mother, "'Takashi-kun is so well-mannered, unlike you, Satoru!'"

They had all laughed and carried on with different topics of conversation.

He caught himself thinking that he couldn't wait to go back home and have simple conversations like those again. Friendship was simple. When you just liked someone and not like-liked someone, it wasn't complicated and all you had to worry about was when you were going to hang out with them again. But when you like-liked someone… things got a whole lot more complicated. Natsume wished that he could go back to just liking Natori and not like-liking him. It would only serve to embarrass him more.

But he was brought out of his musings as he heard his name being called once more.

"Takashi-kun, look."

Miyu was pointing at toward the front of the room where Natori was following Endo up to the stage. They weren't talking to each other.

Looking at him, he felt a strange warmth flood through him when he got a good look at what Natori was wearing. He was wearing jeans and a button down checkered plaid shirt. Some of the buttons were open revealing a white T-shirt underneath. The sleeves were rolled up exposing the actor's forearms.

Now it was strange because Natsume didn't remember if he had ever seen Natori in a pair of jeans. Normally the actor was dressed as nice as they come in trousers and jackets and ties or he was wearing traditional clothing. Even Natori's character was normally in a nice pair of black trousers.

Natsume found himself thinking he wouldn't mind if Natori would wear jeans more often. He looked good in them.

"Oh my God!" he heard Miyu croon. "Natori-san's like the hottest guy ever in the entire world. I hear that he and Jenny were dance partners once for a commercial in America. Oh my God I'm so totally jealous. He'd totally want to be my dance partner if he ever met me-"

Thankfully she was cut off then by Endo who was standing on the stage and had a… a smile? On his face? Did that even ever happen anymore? Weird.

"Hey, everybody. You guys maybe want a break or something?"

Nobody really answered because they all thought this was some kind of test or trick question and if they answered yes like they wanted to then they'd lose their job. But Endo really didn't wait for a response as he turned and pulled Natori next to him by his shoulder and said, "Well, regardless Natori and Jenny have a little treat for you. They're going to dance and show you how it's done! Hahaha! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Some people were clapping others were still wary that there was a catch in there somewhere.

Natsume looked at Natori and from this far away he couldn't tell what the actor was thinking or feeling. But from what he could see the actor was standing with his arms crossed.

:::::::::::::::::::::::

Endo turned around and was met with the steely gaze of his lead actor.

"Endo," he said sweetly enough except his expression looked more like he was about to kill someone, "what's all this about?"

Endo smiled. "Well, you're the one who's sayin' I'm working everybody too hard. This'll be a nice break, right? Besides this'll give you and Jenny an opportunity to… catch up? Right? Unless… you didn't want to catch up or something? Some nasty things happen in the past, huh, Natori?"

"That is none of your business, Endo."

"Right. Anyway have fun."

Endo clapped him on the shoulder as he walked off stage. And Natori swore to himself that he'd never take a job from this ass-prick again.

_***GASP* Cliffhanger! Oh no! I feel like I might be going over board with the OC's... please tell me if I am. If I have too many and you guys can't tell them apart anymore. Or also if you totally think everything's okay and that you still like the story. Either way reviews are always appreciated! XD *kisses***_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Hi, everyone! Sooo, how are all my favorite readers? Oh, look look, i got you something... Yeah! It's the 18th chapter! Hooray! So... yes took awhile but hopefully it's a good chapter and it's cute and all that good stuffs. Also we get to see a little dancing too! The song I listened to while writing that scene was Michael Buble's Save the Last Dance for Me... So if you wanted to listen to that while reading the chapter then go for it or if you'd rather not that's fine too. Also I mention East Coast Swing which is a lovely form of dancing that everyone should be familiar with and if you wanted to get an idea of what the dance looked like then you can check out a few videos of east coast swing on youtube or something. So yay!**_

_**Anyway, this is turning into a really long AN so I'll just wrap up by saying thank you for everyone's continued support and alerting and favoriting and reviewing and everything and that I hope to hear from you this time around and to just sit back and enjoy Chapter 18!**_

"Shuuichi…"

Natori did his best to smile and his best could be rather dazzling. "Hi, Jenny, how are you?" He braced himself for a running tackle hug or a slap in the face or an armful of needy crying blonde woman. But thankfully he didn't need to brace himself for such things since none of that happened. All she really did was glare at him and say a very short, "Fine."

"Well," he said, "Good to hear."

Natori was extremely surprised. She was kind of treating him in a professional manner. While you aren't normally supposed to glare at your co-workers, at least she wasn't crying and telling him how he was a heartless bastard that didn't care about anything except his job. Thank God for small graces.

Faintly he heard the first couple notes of the song that he supposed they were going to dance to. She offered her hand and he took it. They got into the starting position with his hand on her waist, her hand on his shoulder and then holding each other's hands with the other.

She asked a little awkwardly, "You remember how to do this?"

He was going to reply with one of his stock answers that would've come across as condescending and egotistical like, "You remember who you're dancing with?" or "Yeah and you better let me lead," but thought better of it and said, "Sure do."

And with that he took a perfect first step and she followed just as perfectly.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Natsume watched in awe. Natori and Jenny seemed to be in perfect sync. And it was surprising since the way they were dancing didn't really look like what they had been learning for the last hour or so. It was a lot… freer if he were pressed for a word to describe it. They moved a lot with each other and away from each other. Sometimes they'd only be connected by a hand-hold. There'd be a lot of twirls and a lot of foot work that he didn't think he could ever do.

Sometimes they would dance with their torsos touching. Natsume couldn't help a small prick of jealousy develop in his heart whenever that happened. But then sooner or later Natori would twirl her out again and they'd be dancing together but separately only connected by their hands.

Sometimes Natori seemed to hesitate and Jenny would falter and they'd both smile at each other apologetically. But then they'd find their place in the dance and fit themselves into it. They just seemed to fit so well. The way they moved with and into each other reminded Natsume of cogwheels in a watch. To him, it wasn't the music moving them anymore. They moved the song along through the way they moved and turned with each other.

He couldn't tell if it was something pre-choreographed that they had both learned a long time ago or if they were making up the dance as they went along and they were both so good that it just looked practiced.

Natsume wouldn't have described it as graceful dancing per se although he didn't think that there was a particular lack of grace. It just looked like fun and that they were both having a good time.

Natsume felt the subtle desire to learn how to dance like that and even entertained a brief thought that maybe Natori would teach him.

And with a final flourish of movement he swung her out once more and ended in a silly sexy pose. The previously silent ballroom erupted into whistles, cat-calls and applause.

The pair relaxed and laughed at each other awkwardly. Natori held out his hand and Jenny took it with a small smile on her face. They shook hands and Jenny stepped closer and puckered her lips like she was half-expecting to be kissed. Apparently Natori found that hilarious as he laughed and leaned in a little too and puckered his own lips. They ended up kissing each other on the cheek and Natsume felt that dull pang again and also a tad of longing. He wondered what it would feel like if Natori ever kissed him.

Natsume hypothesized that Natori's lips would probably feel like his hands, soft and warm. He felt himself go pink in the face as he thought about it and thought time would be better spent if he didn't think about it at all.

As he looked one of the stage hands was talking to Natori and he seemed incredibly thrilled about something.

He turned and took a step toward the audience of cast members and extras and said, "Thank you, everyone. But settle down because I got good news! You all know our wonderful stunt-double Natsume? Where is he?"

Natori scanned the audience and Natsume felt all of the blood in his body rush to his face. Some of the people around him jumped up and down and pointed at him and shouted, "Here he is! Here he is!" Some of them even nudged him to go up on stage or at least go toward it. Natsume felt awkward going up on stage and preferred to have just stayed submerged in the audience. So he had just made his way closer to the stage and gave Natori a very discrete look. A look that said, "I'm extremely embarrassed right now. What the hell are you doing?"

All Natori did in response to his look was wink and smile. Then he addressed the crowd. "Isn't he just the cutest thing?"

Natsume should have wanted to give Natori a good taste of his right hook for calling him that and he did a little bit. But that didn't stop his embarrassment and the fact that he actually felt flattered by those words.

The audience cooed and laughed in response. Someone (a guy?) even had the gall to yell out a "Hell yes!"

Natori chuckled and continued, "Now we all know how hard he's worked and what a difference he's made and frankly that he saved this entire project…" Natori paused and waited for the approving applause that had erupted at his words to die down, "but I don't think anybody knew that it was his birthday yesterday."

At that there was some hushed murmuring throughout the crowd.

"Now, _Endo_ was kind enough to order some birthday cake for him to thank him for spending his birthday with us and also for all of the work he's done for us."

Natori turned to Natsume and it was probably just Natsume's imagination that Natori's smile was more in his eyes than in his lips as he said, "And so, Natsume, there's only one… well maybe a few things left to say. On behalf of everybody here, Happy Birthday, Natsume, and thank you so much for everything."

Then there was a chorus of "Happy Birthday, Natsume" and he had no idea what to do with himself. He wanted to grab Natori and hug him again but the actor might not appreciate that in a public setting. He wanted to correct Natori and say that he really hadn't done anything that would've merited such kind words from him. He wanted to just accept everyone's birthday wishes and feel like he did deserve this praise and be grateful that he had Natori in his life.

His eyes never left Natori's. But then Natori turned away from him and back to the crowd as he said, "So everybody let's make our way to the back for cake and coffee."

Everyone seemed to like this idea and headed toward where they could see tables with cake and coffee on them and chatted to themselves amicably.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Natori caught Natsume's eyes as the boy turned toward the back of the room. He had gotten caught by a petite young woman that seemed to be chatting his ear off as she led them to go get cake. The kid's face was beet red and he looked like he was either ready to punch him out or hug him. And all the actor hoped was that he didn't go and embarrass Natsume too much that he had completely undone all the progress that he's made with him.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Jenny with a smile on her face. "You never surprised me with cake during shooting," she teased.

He smiled. "Hey, we only shot together for all of two weeks and it was nowhere near your birthday. Besides, Endo's the one who got the cake not me."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "And I'm sure it was from the goodness of his heart and his willingness to pay for sentimental traditions like cake for birthdays for all of his employees."

Natori shrugged. "Okay, maybe I suggested that he should buy the cake but really it was all up to him." He gave her a smile that she knew as the "I'm lying through my manipulative teeth" smile.

All she could say was, "Ah," as if she understood. Her blue eyes travelled over to look at Natsume. "He is really cute, isn't he?"

Natori sighed. "Yep. Sure is."

She nodded. "Good boyfriend material, I'd say. He seems responsible and the way he was blushing… he's probably humble and sweet…" she trailed off.

Natori rolled his eyes. "If you're trying to get me to say something, it's not going to work."

He hopped off stage and was going to go find Natsume when he heard Jenny say, "Honey, you don't need to say anything. It's written all over your face."

He turned around and she had the audacity to wink at him and skip away.

Natori sighed. It was a good thing he never fell for her. She was a little too perceptive in her teasing.

After he got his cake which was vanilla marble cake with chocolate icing, he walked around the ballroom trying to find where Natsume had gone off to. Some people even pointed and said that Natsume had gone this way even without him saying anything.

_Have I really become that readable? Am I slipping that much that everyone seems to know how bad I want to see him?_

But finally he did find him.

He was sitting down in a chair behind the stage. He was chatting briefly with his stylist and another guy who Natori thought he recognized as one of the cameramen. The cameraman and the stylist were holding hands… how cute.

As he approached them, Natsume's stylist spotted him and looked to Natsume. She said something to him and pointed. Natsume looked toward him and his face got red.

When he got into comfortable casual speaking distance from them Natori said, "So how's the birthday boy?"

Natsume gave him the cutest scowl he's ever seen. His face was a vibrant red and his eyes were just alight with annoyance and he was still in that vest and tie, dammit!

"Oh, the birthday boy's fine. He actually has something to tell you," Natsume said.

Natori raised an eyebrow. Perhaps not the most accurate response considering how he really wanted to respond. But he thought that maybe that would've been a much preferred alternative to tackling the boy to the floor and tickling him until the scowl was wiped clean off his face. That or kiss the scowl off. Either one would've been fine. Really. He was flexible.

"Really? And what would that be?" he asked.

Natsume mimicked his expression and raised his own eyebrow but still looked scowly. _God, how cute can you get?_

"That you're ridiculous," the boy stated simply.

Natori couldn't help but laugh. And it was the kind of laugh you could feel shake your whole body and he couldn't remember the last time before this trip that he'd actually laughed like this.

"And what's wrong with that?" he asked.

Natsume shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Nothing."

Sensing a break in the conversation, Natsume's stylist began to speak. "I'm glad that we got to celebrate your birthday with you a little, Natsume-kun. But Hiroshi and I are going to get more cake and coffee so we'll see you later."

Natsume smiled at them. "Alright. It was nice meeting you, Hiroshi-san."

Hiroshi, the cameraman, gave Natsume a toothy grin and said, "Likewise," before the two of them left Natsume and Natori alone together.

Natori pulled up a folding chair that was nearby and took a seat. He was both pleased by the two leaving and a little wary. He didn't even know if he trusted himself alone with Natsume anymore… at least not with that tie on.

Natori felt eyes scrutinizing him and looked to see Natsume looking at his legs. "You-" he stopped himself. But it was too late Natsume was already looking at him.

Natori thanked every god he knew of that he had stopped himself. If Natsume had been minorly ticked off at the stunt he pulled after he danced with Jenny then he would have been majorly ticked off if he was asked if he in fact liked what he saw.

Instead he said, "You like the cake?"

Natsume nodded. "Yeah. It's really good… Natori-san, was this all your idea?"

Natori smiled at him. "Depends. Are you going to get mad at me if it was?"

Natsume looked a little surprised or scared and shook his head. "No. I wouldn't get mad at you for this… I mean calling me out in front of everyone and calling me c-cute," at this, Natsume's face got a lot redder and Natori held in an _awww,_ "was a bit much. But getting me and everyone else cake was… really nice of you so… thank you."

Natori ruffled Natsume's hair. "Natsume, Endo was the one who bought the cakes."

"And I'll thank him too. But it was your idea so don't even deny it."

Natori put a little more pressure into his hair ruffling so that Natsume wouldn't be able to look up at him. Natori could tell that he was blushing and would rather that Natsume not see that. But he still laughed.

"You know me too well, Natsume."

Natsume chuckled. After that they chatted for a little bit and Natsume brought up the topic of Natori's and Jenny's dance.

"It was really cool. Where did you learn to dance like that?" Natsume asked.

"Well, for awhile I was shooting commercials and playing small parts in the US. For one commercial we had to learn how to swing dance. I think they called it East Coast Swing… whatever that means. It was fun and it's probably one of my favorite dances to do. In fact the song we were dancing to before was the same song that we did for the commercial."

"So you two worked on that commercial together?"

Natori paused. He didn't want to bring up that awful experience but since things had seemed to be smoothed over between him and Jenny, he didn't see the harm.

"Yes. We worked together a few times before but we were friends. She was always the choreographer though so she was more a backstage help then an actual cast member. We haven't… been able to work together for awhile…"

He sighed. Natsume seemed confused.

"Why not?"

"We've been avoiding each other."

"…Oh." Natsume didn't say anything after that for awhile. Natori looked at him and could tell that the boy was curious as to why they'd been avoiding each other but he could also tell that the boy didn't want to be nosy and prying. So Natori just decided to tell him.

"One time, we did this commercial together. It was a liquor commercial or something and the plot was that a guy meets a girl but the guy is kind of awkward until he has a drink of the liquor then all of a sudden he's amazing at dancing and sweeps her off her feet and they share a kiss at the end."

He paused and gauged Natsume's response. The boy nodded and seemed interested enough so he went on.

"I was supposed to film the commercial with another actress and Jenny was only there to be a choreographer. But the day of shooting the other actress said she had a different gig to go to and that gig was 'possibly better for her career than a dinky little liquor commercial'. So with no one else who knew the choreography and no one else that fit into the costume, Jenny stepped in.

"At first it seemed great but then we got to the kiss."

Was it just his imagination or was Natsume getting redder every time he said the word 'kiss'?

"When we had to shoot the kiss, we had to do the kiss over a few times so that the director was sure we got the kiss right. And eventually we did get the kiss right."

Natsume was totally getting redder each time he said 'kiss'. Natori felt his heart melt a little. Sweet innocent little Natsume gets embarrassed when he thinks about kisses. So cute.

"But Jenny thought that I wasn't kissing her because I was an actor playing a character. She thought that I actually was attracted to her and that I was just using the acting as a cover so that I could kiss her and not be embarrassed by confessing or something like that."

There was something in Natsume's eyes that look conflicted. Like he wanted to ask him something but didn't know if it would've been rude or not.

Natori just figured that he wanted to hear the rest so he went on. "Apparently, Jenny harbored a little crush on me and said that no matter how much of a good actor I was that I couldn't have possibly kissed her like that if I didn't have any kind of romantic feelings for her. So she thought that I liked her and she kept asking me out on dates. And I tried to let her down gently but she insisted that I loved her and that I should've stopped being a stubborn jackass about it."

Natsume nodded at him. Natori could tell that he was trying to be sympathetic and the actor appreciated that. He also knew that Natsume wanted them to be more open with each other and decided to just keep talking about it because he had been bottling up his frustration on this for quite awhile.

"I think I told her about a million times that I didn't like her like that but she wouldn't believe me. I got so frustrated that I ended up cutting off the limited communication that we had. Soon after that I came back to Japan and continued work here.

"I guess, it's not her fault entirely either. I mean, she wasn't an actress. The first thing that you learn about acting is to never take an actor seriously when he's on stage or when there's cameras around. We pretend… that's all we do. And if someone can't or wouldn't accept that then they shouldn't be actors and they shouldn't be on stage or in front of the cameras with the actors. It's a fine and dangerous line between what actually happened and what we can think happened."

Natsume seemed to be thoroughly drinking in what Natori had said. That look in his eye… That trusting, hanging on your every word, enthralled look. Natori knew he had Natsume's undivided attention and perhaps he was being a bit too melodramatic when talking about these things but all he wanted was for those eyes to never leave him.

If Natsume wanted to stare at his legs, good at least he found something on his body interesting. If Natsume wanted to stare into his eyes when he talked, even better, he'll know for sure that he had all of Natsume's attention solely on him. If Natsume wanted stare at his lips when he talked, fantastic, he'll just keep talking until they had to go back to work.

So that's what they did for awhile. They just sat and talked and it was nice. Natori even found out what Natsume's favorite kind of cake was.

"Chocolate cake with white icing," he'd said.

"Strawberries too?" Natori had asked.

Natsume thought about it for a bit and shrugged. "Hmm… I don't know if strawberries go well with chocolate cake… I mean they might but I've never tried it."

Natori shook his head. Guess he'd been wrong about Natsume's cake preference. Oh well…

"How about your favorite kind of cake?" Natsume had asked.

"Red velvet. Once when I was in high school, my friends threw me a birthday party. They had a gigantic red velvet cake and I practically ate the whole thing by myself. But I managed to get pretty sick afterwards."

Natori chuckled at the memory and Natsume smiled.

The boy looked wistful as he said, "I wonder what kind of cake I'll have at my party once I'm home."

"It'll probably be your favorite or Touko-san will just make a bunch and ask you to pick one."

Natsume laughed a little and said, "Maybe…" He trailed off and looked to the side. He had such a big happy smile on his face that Natori couldn't help his own smile spreading that wide.

"I'm… I'm really excited for my party…" Natsume said almost as if he couldn't believe it.

"You should be. I'd be excited too if Touko-san was going to throw me a party. Her food is probably the best I've ever tasted."

Natsume regarded him briefly then he went back to looking in the corner. Then he asked, "You think… maybe… there'll be games? Or presents?"

On the outside, Natori tried to keep a rather neutral smile on his face and shrug and say, "Maybe," noncommittally as if he didn't care. But on the inside he had to keep his hands where they were so that he wouldn't end up pinching himself.

_Did Natsume really just ask if he'd get any presents? Am I dreaming? Is he going to push me down on the floor and make love to me next? What is even going on anymore?_

It just seemed very strange but in fact not strange at all. In fact a teenage boy with loving guardians and friends should expect presents on his birthday, shouldn't he? Presents that he could treasure or laugh at if it was a gag gift. Things that he could look at and remember the good times that he had with the person who gave it to him.

It shouldn't have been strange that Natsume seemed really excited about this party or about the presents that he'd get.

But what was strange was that Natsume had probably never had a birthday party before where he was surrounded by people he loved and people that loved him too. It was strange and also sad and Natori didn't want to think about that. So instead he just asked him, "What kind of presents would you be looking for, Natsume?"

Natsume gave him a toothy grin and said, "Oh, I don't know. I don't care really. Even if I got a card or something I think I'd be happy."

Natori did in fact want to get something for Natsume but he had no idea what. He tried to coax something out of him. Something that would give him a clue as to what Natsume would really want.

"No, really, Natsume. If you could have anything in the entire world what would it be?"

Natsume raised an eyebrow at him. "Are we talking about material things?"

Natori nodded. "Yep. Anything money could buy. In fact, imagine that you have all of the money in the entire world and no one could stop you from spending it whichever way you want. What would you buy?"

Natsume sat back and seemed deep in thought. "Anything, huh?" He paused for a little bit and then said, "I'd get Touko-san a new washing machine and maybe a bigger garden and-"

Natori cut him off. "I'm going to stop you right there. New rule. You're not allowed to spend the money on anyone but yourself. Now what would you buy?"

The boy looked at him incredulously. "But you said that no one could stop me from spending the money how I want."

"Well, now I can stop you from spending the money on anyone but you."

"But I don't really need anything-"

"I'm not asking about what you need. I'm asking what you want."

"I… don't think I really want anything that money could buy…"

Natori shook his head. "Natsume, are you telling me you've never been out around shopping with your friends or seen an advert on TV and said 'Wow, that's really neat. I would like to have something like that'?"

Natsume turned a slightly more reddish color and looked at his hands. "Well… I mean there was something… that I've kind of wanted for awhile… but it's kind of dumb."

_Oh ho! So there is something that Natsume has wanted?_

"You gonna tell me?" Natori teased.

"I'm telling you. It's dumb."

Natori just raised an eyebrow and looked at him expectantly as if saying, "Go ahead. Try me."

Natsume sighed.

"Well," the boy began, "I think around the last year of elementary school there was this fad going around the school. A person would find their 'best friend' and then they'd give the other something that you could wear. On your wrist or finger or around your neck or something like that. And they'd wear them each day during school. They called them, 'friendship…' something, I don't even remember what they used to call them… tokens maybe? Anyway so the two friends would wear these accessories and they'd have a theme to go with them so that people knew that they went together. I remember these two girls wore earrings. One girl wore tulip earrings while the other girl wore daisy earrings. So they'd kind of match but they'd be different.

"I just remember thinking how cool that was. That everyone could tell that you were that other person's friend and-and how much it would've meant to me if someone ever gave me something like that…"

Natsume trailed off. He was red in the face and looked afraid he might have said something that would have been wrong or weird to say to the actor. After awhile he said a little hoarsely, "See? Dumb answer, right?"

Natori got up from where he was seated and went over to the boy. He grabbed him by the arms and hoisted him up so that he was standing too. Then he brought the boy in for a firm if not fierce hug.

Natori remembered thinking, _That is a dumb answer… Money can't really buy that, can it?_

**_So... kind of a downer there... But don't worry this is all apart of the plan. The adorable fluffy plan that I have in store for all of you! Mwahahahaha! Laugh with me my fluffy minions! Join in the chorus of maniacal laughter for a cuter world. Ahahahahaha!_**

**_Sorry... I don't really know where that came from. Anyway, I'd love to hear from anyone out there who has something to say. Whether it's a hey good job or hey this could be better or hey how about this for the story. I'm all for that. Also I've been getting some people who say they'd like to see some more youkai action... I've been playing around with the idea and I think I can make it work... Sooo is that something that you guys would like to see? Tell me what you think. *kisses*_**


	19. Chapter 19

_**Hey guys. I'm back. It took awhile. You guys are probably mad at me. But I have an update! Yay! So I will cease rambling and here! Enjoy the next chapter!**_

Natsume sighed a little shakily and leaned into Natori. He felt better. Not that he felt bad before. In fact he had felt pretty good beforehand. Natori had convinced Endo to get him cake and the break for the whole cast and crew could've been like a party, right? Like a work party?

Then he had been able to talk to Natori and the actor was sharing a lot more with him now. It made him happy because he could share some of the burden with Natori. And Natori trusted him.

But maybe he had been holding on to that friendship token thing for too long. It's not like he didn't have friends. In fact, ever since he had started making friends with Nishimura and Kitamoto he figured that the whole friendship token thing was superficial. The only reason he'd been so fixated on it was because he'd never gotten one when everyone else seemed to. You didn't need physical objects to know that there were people who cared about you.

But after talking to Natori about it he felt better. Maybe that wasn't the right word. Lighter? That was probably a better word to describe it. He felt lighter.

He realized that what he had just done was something that he had wanted Natori to do for him. He got something off of his chest. He'd shared something with Natori that he hadn't really shared with anyone else. He hadn't even really thought about it. He'd been feeling a lot more comfortable around Natori lately. He'd wanted this. And it made him ecstatic that he got that much closer to having someone who he could tell anything to and would be glad to listen.

He didn't notice nor did he ever realize that once he experienced that eureka moment, he'd hugged Natori a tad tighter.

Natori hardly noticed it either. He was very focused on keeping his emotions in check. His eyes stung. It wouldn't do for a leading man to cry on his love interest's shoulders especially when his love interest seemed so calm about the whole thing.

He wished that he could do more than just hold him. He just wanted to make everything bad in this kid's life to go away. Or to just protect him so that nothing else would cause him to be so lonely. Or kiss him until they could both forget.

But maybe first he could work on that one material thing that Natsume wanted.

He felt Natsume shift. He looked down and was met with overwhelmingly bright golden eyes.

Natsume pulled away a little while still looking Natori in the eye. He looked like he wanted to say something but either couldn't work up the courage to say it or didn't know what he was going to say himself.

"What is it, Natsume?" Natori asked.

At that Natsume looked away. Instead he found something more interesting to watch on Natori's shoulder.

"I…" Natsume began. "I know that… that's probably not practical to want for a birthday present but… I mean, maybe you could… if you wanted to…"

"What?" Natori would give any and all of his limbs if he could just make this boy happy and knowing that maybe there was something that he could do.

"Um… well that dance you did was pretty cool… and maybe as a birthday present… you could… you could show me how… to dance like that?"

Natori had barely caught the tail end of that sentence because it seemed like with every word Natsume became less audible and more mumbley.

And instead of freaking out like a crazed fanatic who got to meet their celebrity crush for the first time like he wanted to, he just tousled Natsume's hair and said that he would love to teach him.

Natsume gave him such a bright smile that Natori had to pull him in for another hug.

_It's something that Natsume wants and it's another excuse to hold him. It's a win win situation,_ he thought.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

Soon after that, Endo felt that there was enough dilly-dallying around and thought that everyone needed to get back to work. So shooting and dancing and chaos began again.

Jenny taught them the rest of the dance and Natsume was once again subjected to the rants and tirades of Miyu.

"Takashi-kun, where did you go all that time? I was looking for you."

"Takashi-kun, you're still not doing it right."

"Takashi-kun, your head seems to be more in the clouds than when we started."

"Takashi-kun, why aren't you saying anything?"

Natsume tried to answer some of Miyu's questions but then half-way through him finishing what he was going to say, she would start asking him a million more questions.

So after awhile, Natsume decided to let Miyu say what she wanted, which was decidedly a lot.

But meanwhile, Natsume couldn't help but notice that the crew was lifting a piano up on stage. He kept wondering if someone was going to play it. Why else would they have a piano up on stage. And not to his surprise someone did start playing it. But to his surprise, that person was Yukiko.

He guessed that playing a piano wasn't necessarily a stunt and he didn't know how to play anyway. But somehow it surprised him to learn that Yukiko knew how to play and knew how to play well.

He wasn't the only one who noticed how talented she was. Some of the other cast members were whispering about how good she was and nodded appreciatively at the beautiful sounds that came out of the grand piano.

Miyu also had some things to say about that. "She's really good at playing right? I heard that's how she got her first role ever. It was a girl who wanted to be the world's greatest composer and it was full of music like Bach and Beethoven. It was really beautiful. She's beautiful too, isn't she? I mean a lot of guys say that she's beautiful. I bet since you're a guy you want to kiss her or something. I don't want to do that… cause I'm a girl. And I don't want to kiss other girls but if I were a boy I'd definitely want to kiss her. The other day, I got to meet her. It's surprising how nice she is once she has everything she wants. She was really nice and pretty and kind and blonde and her hair smells nice and -and-and"

Now Miyu was the one who looked at Natsume's shoulder. Her face was bright red.

Natsume was a good student. He could do math. He could put two and two together.

"Do you have a crush on Yukiko-san, Miyu?" he asked.

She turned five shades brighter and spluttered. "Wh-I-wh-wh-buh-wh-… NO! WH-Why would I have a crush on another girl? That's…" her voice softened. "That's wrong."

There was a pause. Natsume didn't know what to say. Thoughts kept circling in his head. _Was it really wrong? Something like that was wrong?_ The thought never occurred to him. That liking someone could be wrong. It couldn't be, could it? He was about to ask her to clarify but then she looked him in the eye and said, "No. I like you, Takashi-kun! You're like the perfect boy! And… and you're perfect for me. So… so we should date."

Natsume flushed but he shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I…I like someone else."

Miyu didn't look hurt. She just looked disappointed. "Do they like you back?" she asked.

Natsume turned a few shades brighter and didn't speak. He hadn't meant to say that. He had wanted to tell her that he couldn't date her with a reasonable excuse but somehow that can of worms managed to slip out. He didn't want to breach the subject with anyone really. Nyanko-sensei? Fine. But only because he had sort of figured out that Natsume had feelings for Natori for himself. Natsume didn't really want to talk about his feelings. He didn't want to share them either. He liked to keep things private and hidden where no one could come and ruin them. Especially things he treasured.

"Takashi-kun?" Miyu pressed.

Natsume shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "But it wouldn't be fair to you or the person I like if we dated. So, no."

Miyu pouted. "Fine, I guess I'll just have to go dance with another boy now…"

After a few beats of silence Miyu asked a little hesitantly, "E-even though, it's not true… you-you won't say anything… right? About… you know…"

Natsume didn't need any clarification to understand what she was talking about. So he nodded and said, "I promise I won't say anything."

Miyu just blushed and nodded. She looked around to see if anyone was close enough to overhear their conversation. Satisfied that everyone was far enough away, she pressed in closer to Natsume and whispered in his ear. "But… let's say… hypothetically that you were right and that I… I liked another girl. What should I do?"

Natsume wished he could tell her what to do. But he didn't have any experience in the matter. Looking back he realized that he had never felt anything akin to romantic feelings before Natori. He quickly tried to think of anybody else that he knew that had a relationship… which none of his friends did. In fact he didn't know anyone besides his relatives and the Fujiwaras that had relationships. Maybe he should ask Touko about it. He would find out for Miyu what she should do and maybe… from that he could glean what to do about his own… feelings.

"I… don't know," he said.

It was at that precise moment that Yukiko started to sing. Despite her high shrieking yell, her singing voice was very soft and mellow. It was soft and sweet and fit well with the tones that were being produced by the instrument she played.

The tune reminded Natsume of what a love song should sound like. It was soft and sweet and all major chords. The words contained classic romance imagery like a sunny-day smile and cloudy-rainy loneliness. It was love. Plain and simple. No ifs ands or buts about it.

When Natsume realized they had stopped dancing he turned and looked at Miyu. She seemed enchanted by the sounds and wouldn't tear her eyes away from Yukiko for a second. And she had a small smile spread across her face.

Miyu had to be wrong about her feelings. Her feelings weren't wrong. How could feelings be wrong?

::::::::::::::::::::::

Once Yukiko had finished with the song she just started up again with the same song. And unconsciously the rest of the cast fell into step to the beat of the music. And after awhile Miyu snapped out of her crush-induced trance. She started and looked around to see everyone else was still dancing.

Natsume just smiled at her as they started dancing again too. Miyu told him to shut up and Natsume pointed out that he didn't say anything as promised. Miyu pouted. Natsume thought that what he said would be something like what Natori would say in this situation. He also wondered if he was spending much too much time with him.

They danced without too many missteps on Natsume's part and Natsume couldn't help but feel some pride on how much he'd improved on dancing. Even if it was just a little. Maybe he'd be able to impress Natori once they started their dance lessons.

Natsume quickly quashed that thought since he was pretty sure that it was going to lead to a whole long train of thought that would eventually result in his face turning red. Then that would prompt questions from Miyu and he'd rather not talk about Natori.

Once that song ended, Yukiko stopped playing. Everyone clapped. Yukiko flashed them all a smile and Natsume could practically feel the air leaving the room as some of the male and female extras inhaled.

Endo yelled, "Annnnd, Cut!"

Endo got up on stage and said, "Good job, everybody. We were filming you the whole time so we got all of the shots we needed for this scene. So the lot of you can go back to your rooms and rest up for tomorrow. Tomorrow's Natori's night to shine. There will be more dancing and everything so go and rest."

Some of the cast members were elated that they were let go so early. Others were surprised that they had been filmed while they were dancing. Natsume was a part of the former group.

He exchanged good nights with Miyu and rushed off to find Natori. They could walk back to their room together. That never happened.

But he found Endo and Natori talking and it didn't look like the actor was leaving anytime soon. Endo was giving Natori direction and notes on how he wanted him to sing while Natori nodded and smiled and said, "Right… Right, I'll do my best."

Natsume waited patiently until Natori caught sight of him. Natori quickly turned to Endo and excused himself and said, "I'll meet you over there."

Endo nodded and walked away. Natori trotted over to Natsume with an easy smile and said, "How was dancing?"

Natsume smiled back and said, "Fun. I never realized that Yukiko-san was such a good piano player."

Natori chuckled and said, "She's full of surprises, isn't she?"

But then his face grew a little more somber as he said, "Listen, Natsume, they need me to record that song I'm going to be singing so we need to head over to the recording studio. I'll be back at the hotel as soon as I can, okay? If you think you need someone to walk with you I can get one of the stage hands to go with you. I know that we haven't had any… incidents lately but…" he looked around and got something from his pocket, "here."

He grabbed Natsume's hand and pressed what felt like paper into his hand. Natsume felt tingles from where Natori's hand gripped his all the way up his spine.

When Natori let go of his hand Natsume looked to see a small paper doll. Natsume sent a confused glance at Natori and the actor said, "In case you run into anything that's less than friendly…"

When Natsume was about to say he could take care of himself Natori cut in and said, "This is only for my own peace of mind, okay? I know you and your tough-guy-I'm-independent pride but just… take it. You never know when you can use some extra help."

Natori then quickly rattled off an incantation to use and how to use the doll. He also stressed the importance of locking the doors and windows once inside the hotel room. "I already dowsed the place with a good bit of warding magic but… uh… just be safe, okay? And promise me that you'll walk back to the hotel with someone. Anyone, okay?"

As he said this, the actor fiddled with the ends of his shirt sleeves since this button up shirt didn't really have cuffs.

Natsume cracked a smile. He was happy that Natori was so worried about him even though there was nothing really to worry about. It was sweet that Natori seemed a bit haggard and still wanted to make sure that Natsume was okay. Then Natsume suddenly had a hilarious idea. He'd been wanting to get Natori back for all of the teasing he's been made to put up with. He never really had a chance before but now seemed as good a time as any.

"I will, Natori-san, and thank you," he paused worked up some courage and then continued. "You know, you're cute when you're worried like that."

He had wanted to make the comment flippantly like how Natori did it. He wanted it to sound like teasing like how Natori said it. But somehow it didn't come out flippant or facetious or teasing… it came out sincere and Natsume could feel the blush that spread across his cheeks.

He ripped his eyes away from Natori and looked down at his shoes. _What in the hell was I thinking? He probably thinks I'm a creep now._

He muttered out a quick good bye and with doll in hand he quickly made his way over to his dressing room so he could change out of his costume and into his street clothes to go back to the hotel.

He left a speechless and red-faced Natori behind him. He stood there with his eyes trained on the last place they saw Natsume before he disappeared around the corner. While his body hadn't moved an inch in what seemed like awhile his mind was going a mile a minute trying to comprehend what this world was coming to.

_Natsume called me cute. Natsume even uses the word cute? That's cute. Wait, no, he said I'm cute. He said I'm cute. Natsume thinks I'm cute. Cute. Am I cute? Natsume thinks so. He said that. He said I'm cute. He said I'm cute. What was the other part of that sentence. I'm cute when… whatever sure it wasn't important. But Natsume said that. It must've been important. What was after the cute part. Natsume said I was cute then… Oh my god, Natsume said I'm cute. He thinks I'm cute. But what kind of cute? Cute like, 'I'm crushing on you and I think you're cute' cute or cute like 'aww, look at that puppy' cute. But either way, Natsume thinks I'm cute. OhmygodNatsumesaidI'mcutehethinksI'mcute! He thinks I'm cute._

Natori's thoughts chased each other in a seemingly endless game of duck-duck-goose while an unbidden blush made his cheeks glow. And he smiled. He was smiling so much his cheeks hurt. A few times he tried to wipe away his smile because it hurt so much but he couldn't keep it off for very long. He even tried to rub the smile out of his cheeks but that only aided in his cheeks turning a brighter red because that smile was more stubborn than he was.

Eventually Endo came to look for him. The director yelled at him naturally. "Natori! What the hell are you doing! Let's go!"

Natori still smiling answered softly, "Sure. Yeah… I'm coming."

Endo looked at Natori like he had six heads and said, "Well, come on."

Natori tore his eyes away from the last place where he had seen Natsume and followed Endo out onto the streets of Tokyo.

Endo still looked at Natori like he was walking on his hands and spouting gibberish. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Natori just nodded unable to fully express that he hadn't been this "okay" in a long time. That things couldn't be more "okay." That in fact "okay" was an inadequate word to describe what life at that moment. But he couldn't find his voice so he just kept smiling even though his cheeks hurt.

::::::::::::::::::::::

Natsume had changed and exchanged good nights with Mimi. Mimi had asked if he would be interested in walking back to the hotel with her and Hiroshi. Natsume had agreed.

They met up with Hiroshi and the couple embraced. As they walked, they fell into a companionable conversation. They began to talk about the dancing that the extras were made to do and then Hiroshi had suddenly spun Mimi around like they were ballroom dancing.

Mimi giggled and said, "St-stop."

Hiroshi just laughed and kissed her on the cheek. He turned to Natsume and asked, "Isn't she cute?"

Natsume could only nod and feel happy that these two had found each other.

But that word… "cute." Sometimes he thinks that it's only reserved for couples that like to refer to each other with endearments. But Natori often called him cute… or not cute. But Natsume was pretty sure that when Natori said that he was "so not cute" that the actor actually meant that he was cute.

So… since Natori used it for him then that means that it isn't necessarily reserved for couples or people with romantic feelings for each other.

They walked for a bit more until something that Natsume saw made him stop.

They were walking down a street and off to their left the road turned into a small bridge. The bridge stretched over a small stream. There was a lamppost near where the street met the bridge and under the street light was a person facing away from them. As they got closer Natsume could've sworn that it was Natori.

He wanted to talk to Natori and possibly apologize for what he said and assure him that he didn't mean it the way it sounded even though he probably did. While part of his thoughts filled with dread that maybe Natori probably didn't like the "cute" comment but he was still delighted to see him. Maybe they didn't need Natori at the studio after all and they let him go early. And Natori was waiting there… for him? The thought made Natsume giddy with apprehension or elation he couldn't quite tell.

But none the less he turned to Mimi and Hiroshi and said, "I think that Natori-san is over there. We're roommates so we can walk back to our room together."

Mimi looked at Natsume and glanced to where he Natsume had looked and said, "Oh, well if you call him over here w-we can all walk b-back together…"

"No, that's okay. I'll see you tomorrow," Natsume said. He wanted to talk to Natori about the cute comment. Alone.

Mimi hesitated but then Hiroshi got a wild grin on his face and said, "Sure thing, kid. Let's go, Mimi."

Natsume waved at them as they walked away and tried to give them a reassuring smile. He heard the couple murmur to each other but he couldn't really catch what they said. Mimi sounded like she was asking a question and Natsume could only catch the words "date" and "cute" from what Hiroshi said. Mimi had looked back at Natsume then giggled. Natsume didn't really know what all that was about but he decided to not worry about it.

Instead, he trotted over to Natori calling the actor's name all the way.

For some reason, Natori wouldn't turn around. Natsume's heart dropped. What if the actor had really gotten mad about the cute comment? Natsume swallowed and as he got closer to Natori he noticed something strange. Natori seemed to be hunching over. Natori never hunched. He had perfect posture practically always.

"Natori-san? Are you alright?" Natsume asked.

Natori shivered. He still wouldn't look at Natsume. The actor mumbled something unintelligible.

Natsume really started to get worried. He kept trying to coax an answer from Natori. And finally Natori said something. But it was such a strange statement and Natsume wasn't quite sure what the actor meant.

"I'm so lonely."

Natsume wanted to pull Natori into a hug. That always seemed to fix things between them. But something was off. Something was terribly off. Something was wrong and Natsume was getting scared. He reached into his pocket and clutched the paper doll that Natori had given him beforehand.

Natsume decided to walk in front of Natori and maybe then the actor would look at him. They could talk about it. They could quite possibly hug and then whatever Natori was thinking about that was bothering him wouldn't be such a problem anymore.

So Natsume walked to where they could talk face to face. But when Natsume caught a look at Natori's face he screamed.

Because Natori didn't have a face.

_**Cliffhanger! I'm evil I know. I make you guys wait for an update and now it's a mean cliffhanger. I'm sorry. I'll try and work on the next chapter so it'll be out sooner than... two months. Also I almost forgot, this fic has been going for over a year now! So thanks to everyone who's been supporting and favoriting and reviewing and stuff since the beginning to everyone who's just tuning in now. Thank you guys so much for your support and I just hope you guys don't hate me for taking so long.**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Hey, guys. So a few months since I posted. Sorry to keep you waiting but hopefully this was worth the wait. And hopefully I'll be able to work on this story more because we're almost done! Almost... almost... Anyway please enjoy!**_

Natori was grabbing at him now. Natsume's sympathetic nervous system kicked in and pumped adrenaline through his veins. His heartbeat increased erratically.

"Na-Natori-san!" Natsume hissed. "What's wrong? What happened?"

Natori reached out and pulled Natsume close to him. It didn't feel right. Natsume tried to push himself away.

He didn't want to make too big of a fuss. Even though he didn't have a face, it was still Natori. And Natori cared about him and wouldn't hurt him. He didn't want to cause an unnecessary scene. He needed to find out what happened and the best way to do that would be to calmly talk about it preferably where there wouldn't be people around. They might get scared.

But as a train of a million other thoughts was about to enter his mind, Natori reached for him again and was pulling him closer. He kept whispering, "I'm so lonely. Please. I'm so lonely. Everyone's so afraid of me. I'm so lonely."

Natsume still didn't feel right being held like this. He tried to push away gently again as he said, "But that's not true… No one's afraid of you. Natori-san, please tell me what happened. I'll try to help as best I can. We'll-"

Natori just kept shaking his head and kept saying the word no and please interchangeably over and over again. All the while trying to pull Natsume closer.

Natsume didn't like it but if that was what Natori needed from him then he'd gladly acquiesce. But just before Natori wrapped his arms around him, Natsume could hear some very frantic tweeting coming from somewhere overhead. The sounds got louder until Natsume could discern actual words from the garble of chirps.

"Here he is! Here he is! Quickly! Quickly! No-face has him! Quickly!"

"Momoka?" he wondered out-loud.

Within the next few seconds there was a flash. He shielded his eyes and vaguely felt Natori retreat from him.

Once the flash receded and he was able to look without blinding himself, Natsume looked around to find that Natori was gone and Nyanko-sensei was standing at his feet.

"Nyanko-sensei? What are you doing here? Where did Natori-san go? We need to help him!"

Natsume was about to launch into a very long monologue about Natori's new condition and that frightening him off really wasn't helping anyone. That is until Nyanko-sensei interrupted him saying, "Natsume, that wasn't Natori."

That made Natsume stop. And stare.

"What do you mean that wasn't Natori? Of course it was. Who else could it have been?" Natsume asked with slowly increasing apprehension in his voice.

"It's a youkai, Natsume-sama. A youkai! It fooled you!" Momoka twittered.

"The bird-brain is right, Natsume. That youkai is called a Noppera-bo. They usually reside around Tokyo and wander around at night. To humans, they appear as someone who is important to you… only their faces are featureless."

Natsume was rather shocked and more than a little freaked out. For awhile he opened and closed his mouth until he said, "It was a youkai. It was a youkai? What did it want with me then?"

Nyanko-sensei shifted his shoulders in what could be interpreted as something of a shrug as he said, "Who knows. Judging by what it was saying it was lonely. It might have wanted to lock you up somewhere so you wouldn't go away so that it could have a friend."

Somehow that stung. Empathy hurt sometimes.

Natsume remained silent. He thought about how many times when he was younger how badly he had wanted just one person that he could talk to about anything. Someone that wouldn't call him a liar or a freak. Someone that wouldn't be afraid of him.

After so many times of getting hurt and disappointed by people, he just tried to convince himself that he didn't need anyone. He didn't need companionship and all he really needed was to be alone. Where no one could find him or bother him.

Natsume would've liked to say that he didn't almost know that kind of desperation that the Noppera-bo might have felt.

He picked up Nyanko-sensei and wrapped both his arms under his two front paws. Then he looked around half-hoping to catch a glimpse to see where the youkai had gone. When he couldn't find it, he just said, "Let's go back to the hotel then."

And they left.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The whole walk back to the hotel Momoka fretted over him. She kept asking if he was okay or if he had any scratches anywhere. She also reminded him that she needed to help him in return for the kind deed that Natsume had done for her.

Natsume tried to convince her that such an act of kindness wasn't necessary and that she had done enough helping Nyanko-sensei find him when the Noppera-bo was posing a problem.

Momoka would have none of it.

"Natsume-sama! You must know that I will help. With whatever kind of help that you need help with. Like with that silly human! Surely you need help with that."

Natsume blinked. "Help with what exactly?"

Momoka twittered a laugh and said, "You must know! Natsume-sama! You must! Crocodile-smile human wants to be your special someone and Natsume-sama wants to be Crocodile-smile human's special someone! Only fools with their heads on backwards wouldn't be able to see that."

At that Nyanko-sensei laughed. "Then you don't know these two. Fools with their heads on backwards are the perfect words to describe them."

Natsume scowled down at the cat demon in his arms. "Well the perfect words to describe you are lazy and fat!"

"What did you say to me, you incompetent brat?"

They bickered like this for quite awhile until they had made it back into the room. Natsume knew how to bicker with Nyanko-sensei. They did that a lot. That was familiar territory. He didn't want to let his mind wander into completely unfamiliar territory. The notion that Natori may in fact return his feelings was such a territory.

He didn't want to think about it. He was happy with what they already had and what he thought it would become. They were getting to be more open with each other and that's all that Natsume ever wanted. Sometimes he felt like even that was too much to hope for. And if he started hoping that Natori would ever really return those feelings…

"Natsume, whatever you're thinking of stop it. Your face is turning a really weird red color."

It was Nyanko-sensei's snarky remark that shook Natsume out of his thoughts. He realized that they were back at the hotel room door.

Natsume fished out the keys from his pocket and opened the door. Natsume put Nyanko-sensei down claiming the youkai to be too heavy. He noticed that Natori wasn't back yet.

He went over to his dresser and got out some comfortable clothes to sleep in then made his way over to the shower. He wondered briefly if he still had Natori's permission to use his shampoo.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"That was good, Natori, but let's try to get a little more heartfelt, okay?"

"Endo, I was pouring out my soul in that last take. How do you want it to be more heartfelt?"

"You're an actor. It's your job to take the direction I give you and make it work. Otherwise I'd be doing your job. Now let's do it one more time."

"But-"

"Okay, roll it!"

The background music began and Natori stifled back a sigh. He didn't see what was wrong with the other recordings that he did. He had been on a love-sick high then. Natsume had called him cute _oh my god I still can't believe that happened. He actually thinks that I'm cute when I'm always saying how cute he is… or not cute but really I do mean cute. How am I even supposed to look at him now without wanting to cuddle the stuffing out of that boy!_

Anyway, Natsume had called him cute and that had boosted his mood to a dangerously happy level. Happy to the point of humming meaninglessly happy. Happy to the point of almost skipping happy. It was seriously ridiculous.

But through this happy to the point of reciting every one of Shakespeare's love sonnets that one could possibly think of to himself happy, a small prick of apprehension had somehow wormed its way through. He didn't know why it was there. But he couldn't help but feel like something bad was going to happen. That Natsume was in some kind of trouble.

Natori tried to reason away his feelings of worry. Natsume had promised him he'd walk back to the hotel with someone. Natori had given Natsume one of his paper dolls to protect himself with. Nyanko-sensei had this uncanny ability to know exactly when Natsume was in trouble and save him.

But Natori had a lot of experience with feelings. They couldn't be reasoned away so easily.

::::::::::::::::::

When Natori finally pleased the great Endo enough with his singing and when the salvation came from Endo's mouth in the form of the words "You can go now," Natori wasted no time in getting back to the hotel as quickly as possible. He just needed to make sure that Natsume was okay.

He practically ran all the way back to the hotel. Once back, he panicked for the briefest of seconds because he didn't see Natsume. But then heard the shower running and relaxed almost instantly.

But still…. Just to be sure.

He made his way over to the bathroom door and knocked. He called, "Natsume? You in there?"

There was a pause then a slightly startled sounding, "Yes!" echoed from behind the door.

"Alright," Natori called back. He was beginning to feel a little awkward calling Natsume from behind the door to the shower since he was trying really hard not to picture Natsume in the shower at that moment. It was really hard to do. So he just called out once more, "If you need anything, I'll be right out here."

Once he got an affirmative noise that Natsume had heard him, Natori went over to his bed and laid down. He crossed his arms over his eyes and waited for the last small bits of worry adrenaline to fade out of his systems. Natsume was fine. He was okay. Everything was okay.

He listened to the running water and occasional splashes and felt himself drift off. But it wasn't until the noise of Natsume opening and closing the door to the bathroom woke him up that Natori realized that he had fallen asleep.

He lifted his arms to catch the sight of Natsume with slightly pinked skin and damp hair. Natori desperately wished he could pull Natsume into bed with him and they could just fall asleep cuddled up next to each other.

"Hey," Natori said.

Natsume looked at Natori and for a second he just stared. No emotion on his face; it was just blank staring. But after that a pure sunny smile spread across the young man's face. "Hey, yourself," he said.

Natori disregarded the flirty undertones to that greeting because really. Natsume couldn't be that bold twice in one day because one it was Natsume and two Natori would bet his entire house that Natsume wouldn't come on to him. Whether or not he wanted to however was another matter entirely. One that he used to be pretty sure he could bet his house on but now he just wasn't too sure anymore.

But those are musings best left to when Natsume wasn't in the immediate vicinity. And also preferably where Natsume was not within reaching distance because Natori didn't know if he'd be able to keep his hands to himself although lately he hasn't been exactly doing that either.

So… conversation. That's a good distraction.

"Did I miss anything?" Natori asked lightheartedly.

Natori had been expecting an instant "nope" or a slightly amusing anecdote that had happened on the way back to the hotel. But what he got was Natsume avoiding eye-contact and remaining silent for a few guilty seconds. Only after that did he get his "No."

Natori became suspicious. Natsume was hiding something.

"Are you sure?" Natori asked. He tried to remain calm. He needed to find out what was wrong. Something did happen. He just didn't know what.

Natsume glanced at him. Then quickly looked away.

"Natsume…"

"No," Natsume got out. "It's nothing. It's okay. I've just been… out of sorts."

"Out of sorts? Why? What's wrong?"

Natsume licked his lips and swallowed. He was nervous. But why?

"Um… there was just a… a situation with a youkai on the way back. It just surprised me a little."

Natori had to keep himself from all but lunging at Natsume. But he did get up, cross over to Natsume, and began methodically checking for any injuries as fast but as calmly looking as he could.

"Did it hurt you? Why didn't you bring this up sooner? Did you use the doll that I gave you? You probably forgot all about it, didn't you?"

Natsume gave Natori such a look that it immediately shut him up. "No," the young man said, "It didn't hurt me. I didn't use the doll. And I didn't bring it up sooner because you weren't here. It just… startled me is all. The… the youkai looked like you and I didn't even know it was a youkai until Nyanko-sensei and Momoka came and told me."

Natori needed to veer the conversation away from where it was going because it might lead to Natsume belittling himself because he was fooled into thinking that a youkai was him so he asked a question.

"Why did the youkai look like me?" Natori asked (which is really the only question to ask in such a situation).

"Nyanko-sensei said that it was a Noppera Bo and that those kinds of youkai take the form of someone important to you except they don't have a face."

Natori had worked on some cases where those types of youkai were involved. While incredibly creepy looking, Noppera Bo's weren't aggressive and didn't tend to harm anything. The first time he had seen a Noppera Bo he'd nearly jumped out of his skin. It was when he was younger. The youkai had looked like his father. He knew how much it could shake a person to see someone they loved faceless.

Well, maybe love was too strong a word to describe what Natsume felt toward the actor. Although, if Natori were to be so bold, the word like wasn't exactly strong enough. He wished he could exactly place what Natsume was feeling toward him so that he'd have a starting point. Or at least he would know how close he was to love. But he'd have plenty of time to ponder that tonight while he didn't fall asleep so that he could watch over Natsume tonight since this Noppera Bo business had him a bit shaken as well.

Natsume began to tell the story from the beginning when he left Mimi and Hiroshi to greet "Natori" and how the youkai had kept grabbing at him and then how Nyanko-sensei and Momoka came and chased the youkai away.

A part of Natori was happy to hear that Natsume had tried to stay and help "him." It was comforting that Natsume, though freaked out would actually stay and offer help if something as impossible improbable and unwanted as Natori losing his face happened. But the other part of him wanted to scold Natsume for not running away. Even if it had really been Natori, he didn't have a face. Whoever or whatever took his face could've still been around. And while Natsume's face wasn't the only thing that Natori treasured about Natsume, it was one of his favorite things about him.

After Natsume finished the story, he let out a small sigh. "It's a little strange. I can understand how that youkai must have felt. To feel that lonely…"

Natori reached and wrapped his fingers around Natsume's hand. It was times like these that Natori didn't care about coming off too strongly around Natsume. He felt like he needed to assure Natsume anything or else the young man would feel helpless and alone. He wanted to promise Natsume anything. Everything that he could ever want Natori needed to provide for him.

"But not anymore… Right?" Natori asked.

Natsume looked at Natori as a small sweet smile spread across his face. That look had something so profound behind it.

There was so much emotion behind that look. It was so much and so genuine that you couldn't fake that look; even if you were an acclaimed actor. You could try to put all of your emotion (fear, anxiety, love, admiration, adoration, happiness) into something that resembled that look and remember all of the times that you felt each emotion at its peak and try to redirect it to someone who wasn't there with you and who you probably didn't know when everything happened. You could try and match it but there isn't a way to duplicate that look. That look was genuine and so heartbreakingly real that if someone (even an actor like Natori) would try to replicate it, the replica would just fall flat.

That look was almost like a weight on him. It wasn't particularly heavy nor was it particularly light. But it was warm. Not only in a figurative sense (such as if someone wanted to use a clever metaphor to describe something kind or gentle) but it also made Natori physically warm (mostly in the facial area). It made Natori want to freeze time so that they wouldn't have to move or go and shoot or anything else that life required of them.

Natori was convinced that if this was the last thing he'd ever see if he'd suddenly become blind then he'd be okay with that.

"No," Natsume said. His eyes were just a tad wetter around the edges. "Not anymore."

Natsume took his free hand and wrapped it around both of their hands. Natori had no idea what was going on but all he knew was that his heart was beating like crazy, that Natsume was the cutest creature to ever walk this earth, he just always wanted to make Natsume happy all of the time and he wanted Natsume to hold his hand with both of his like this forever.

There was a dreamy sigh off to their left which had both of them turn. It had come from Momoka. Without noticing their gaze on her, she began speaking to herself. "Oh, how romantic."

Natori sprang to rigid attention in a millisecond. _THAT LITTLE TRAITOR! WHY WOULD SHE SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?_

He tried to remain calm but that one sentence could open up a new realm of possibility in Natsume's head. Natsume could figure out the actor's secret feelings for him. Then it would be goodbye close comfortable friendship and hello awkward hey we used to be really close but then I found out that he was interested in me but he was already friend-zoned when that happened so now we aren't speaking to each other anymore because it's awkward.

He was about to say something that would play off her comment as a joke. They would all laugh about it and it wouldn't get awkward. But Natsume began speaking first.

"Mo-Momoka! We're not- that was out of line-and-and not true-and why would you say something like that?"

Natsume rambled for a good minute more of the same things. Everything that stumbled out of Natsume's mouth sounded rushed and… guilty. As if he had been caught doing exactly what he was accused of doing.

_Which…was… being romantic,_ Natori reminded himself.

"just because two people hold hands doesn't mean that-that they're romantically together and-and-"

_Was Natsume guilty of being romantic?_

"and I thought we talked about this before so-"

_But if he was guilty of being romantic… would that mean…_

"you wouldn't say stuff like that anymore because it's rude-"

…_that he had romantic feelings…?_

"to simply assume things about two people without really knowing the whole story and-"

…_for Natori?_

**_Oh no! Another semi-cliffhanger! I'm a terrible person. But please tell me what you think. I hope I didn't dissappoint. :D_**


	21. Chapter 21

_**Hey, you guys! I finished this like earlier than previously! Hooray! And I just want to thank everyone who was reviewing and favoriting and everything because I probably wouldn't have written this much without you guys! So please enjoy chapter 21!**_

"How romantic," Momoka said. Natsume wasn't thinking. He hadn't been thinking. They were holding hands alone in a hotel room. Of course something like that would be considered romantic. Of course it would. It had probably made Natori uncomfortable but he was too polite and too good at hiding his emotions to show it.

God, what had he been thinking? Feel free to reference the former paragraph for the answer.

"Natsume," he heard Natori say.

Natsume looked up at Natori but couldn't meet his eyes so instead he just looked at Natori's shoulder.

"It's alright. So what if it seemed that way? Momoka was just making a joke," Natori said gently.

A joke? Yeah, right. Natori didn't know about his feelings. He didn't know that Momoka knew about his feelings. He didn't know that the youkai was trying to play matchmaker and help him "win the heart of his special someone."

But it was okay because to Natori it was a joke. It was just a joke.

Natsume nodded and tried to smile too. "Yeah," he said. "Momoka's silly like that."

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They both went to bed soon after that. Neither one of them really wanted to talk about it. It was just so weird.

Natsume had known he was being obvious. He knew that while the jumbled up mass of words flew carelessly from his mouth. But he just kept talking. He remembered thinking that he could save himself if he uttered this next thought. That these next couple of words would get him out of the hole that he'd been digging himself into. But each time he thought that the next thing that came out of his mouth would save him, it just dug him in deeper. Natsume had looked at Natori once during his longwinded speech and he did not like what he saw. Natori was staring at him with his jaw hanging slightly open and with a faint pink dusting his cheeks. It only fed his embarrassment which in turn fueled his rambling.

Natsume had never really been an apt liar. He used to think he was but maybe he was just never good at it to begin with. He almost always over-compensated. He never knew how to achieve that subtlety that would convey realism. He over did it. That's exactly what he did.

He couldn't bear to look at Natori. It was painfully awkward. Natori probably knows. Natsume could hope against hope that he doesn't know but he probably does.

That thought alone gave Natsume such a dreadful thrill that he couldn't decide if he should be anticipating disappointment or… maybe hope.

No, nothing could be hopeful about this situation. He wouldn't dare to think that there was even a glimmer of hope that Natori could perhaps return his impossible feelings. And after all, the thought that they had anything romantic between them was laughable. Natori had said so himself. He called it a joke.

Natsume probably would've agreed with him if he hadn't been so personally invested in the situation. But he was. So instead of making him laugh, it just made his heart sting.

And while Natsume was rather preoccupied with just today's events, Natori was preoccupied with a jumble of thoughts having to do with the events of today and those of the past.

Natori was very quickly going through all of his past experiences with Natsume to deduce if his theory of "maybe Natsume returns (at least in some small part) my feelings" can be supported by anything other than his deepest wishes.

He could remember at least seven separate times where Natsume blushed profusely at his teasing. Both of the "cute" comments come to mind immediately. You blush when someone you're crushing on teases you right? Sure. But blushes can also be an outward sign of embarrassment or anger. So can't really rely on blushes.

How about all of the times they've showed affection to each other? The holding hands? The hugs? The kisses? Okay, those were rather one-sided so they don't count. But still, it seemed like they couldn't go a day without… touching each other.

Well, maybe that was more on Natori. Maybe Natori couldn't go for more than a day without grabbing Natsume and forcing him into a hug or grabbing his hand. He had been the first one to initiate such contact. Maybe Natsume didn't like it. And if Natsume didn't like it then there was no way that Natsume would even consider harboring a crush on Natori.

And the hand-holding could also be blamed on Natori. He had started it and couldn't really think of one time where Natsume had just grabbed his hand. Well, Natsume did only just take his hand in his that night. Did that count? Maybe. It probably would've counted if Natori hadn't had this sudden urge to quash any faith he had in their relationship.

He wanted to be with Natsume. But he didn't want him to get hurt even more. And that's what happens with these kinds of relationships. People end up getting hurt because you care too much. You love too much and you end up getting hurt. You're not strong enough emotionally or physically and everything goes to hell.

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Meanwhile outside their window, Momoka was fuming. Soon after the two went to bed, Momoka flew out of the window so that her angry mumbling wouldn't wake Natsume up. She didn't really care about Natori right then.

"That was no joke! What had entered that human's head to think I was telling a joke? Love is no joke. Love is serious. A serious emotion! No joke! How dare crocodile smile human say it was a joke! Because it wasn't! Does crocodile smile human think Natsume-sama's feelings are jokes? How dare he! I will no longer help if stupid human thinks Natsume-sama's feelings are funny!"

She puffed up her feathers and worked herself into quite a tizzy when Madara came and sat on the window sill.

"Calm down," he drawled. "No one thinks anyone's feelings are silly. Natori just said something stupid and thoughtless that's all. It happens all the time."

"But that was the perfect time to assure Natsume of his love for him! Why didn't he take the opportunity!"

Nyanko-sensei rolled his eyes. "Because both of them are stupid and dense and neither one of them wants to get hurt. Or… let me rephrase that. Natori doesn't want either of them to get hurt and Natsume doesn't want to be a burden."

"So what does that mean?" asked the bird youkai.

"It means Natori won't admit to his feelings unless he's sure Natsume feels the same way and Natsume won't admit to his feelings unless the alternative would be even more troublesome for Natori or anyone else."

Momoka hummed in contemplation. "Then we must make Natori sure that Natsume feels the same way he does! It is the only way! I cannot think of a situation where there would be a more troublesome alternative to confessing your love. But if crocodile smile human were to confess his feelings to Natsume then Natsume would have to accept. Because not only would it make him happy but it will also make crocodile smile human happy!"

Momoka reinvigorated by her brilliance set off to plan what was surely to be a spectacular climax to a love story.

Nyanko-sensei on the other hand just sighed and shook his head.

"Troublesome birds are so much like troublesome humans," Nyanko-sensei said under his breath.

::::::::::::::::::::

Getting ready in the morning wasn't as awkward as Natori thought it would be. But it was still kind of awkward. Natsume wouldn't really look at him. He'd glance his way and smile and answer anything that Natori would say but he wouldn't look him in the eye. Maybe he still felt embarrassed about what Momoka said yesterday?

Endo had called him and said if they weren't down at the set in T-minus one minute that he was going to shove all kinds of camera equipment up Natori's ass so right now wasn't a very conducive time to talk about it.

But Natori couldn't really give two shits about what Endo wanted right then. Natsume came first.

"Natsume," Natori asked, "are you alright?"

Without looking at him, Natsume nodded.

Natori let out a sigh as quietly as he could. "Natsume, if there was anything you needed to talk about you know I'm right here."

Natsume looked at him. He looked him in the eye much the same way as how he looked at him last night. Natsume smiled. It was small but genuine.

"I know…" Natsume trailed off. Natori was too dazed by that look to answer. He didn't know how long they stood there in silence until finally Natsume said, "I'm sorry, Natori-san, if you're worried about me. But there's no need to be. If it was something pressing, like a youkai or something, I would've told you… but right now, I don't think I can talk about it yet… but… but I will. Eventually."

All Natori could do was nod dumbly until Endo gave him another call and assured that certain parts of his body would be ripped from the rest of his body if he wasn't down on set in fifteen seconds.

:::::::::::::::::

They got to set and Natsume was immediately whisked off to hair and makeup. It was still the ballroom scene and since Yukiko didn't have any stunts in the parts they were shooting today either, Natsume was once again left to being an extra which also meant he didn't have to put on any frilly fru-fru dresses.

As Mimi was getting him ready, she seemed a bit nervous like she was keeping a secret or there was something she was about to do and she was dreading it. But she seemed pleasant enough. They talked about average things like how their mornings went and so on.

Mimi even recounted how Hiroshi had turned off his alarm instead of putting it on sleep and that he had to scramble to shower, get dressed and get breakfast in under twenty minutes. It had made them both laugh.

But as Mimi was putting the last finishing touches on his hair, she grew very quiet and seemed to be working with great care. Natsume didn't want to throw off her concentration so he waited patiently and silently.

When she had given his hair one last good spray with the hair spray, she surveyed her work with a smile and said, "All done."

Natsume looked at the nearest mirror and almost did a double take because he almost didn't recognize himself. She had done something new with it. It was a lot more stylish. Mimi parted his hair not straight down the middle like he normally did but it was more to the side with most of his hair sweeping to that side. Some of his hair came off his head in little spikes.

Natsume had to turn his head and look a few times to make sure that it was really his hair.

Mimi chuckled. "It's not too edgy for you is it? I thought I'd try something new."

When Natsume turned to her and smiled and asked, "Why?" Mimi immediately turned her face away but not before Natsume caught a glimpse of her face going completely scarlet.

"Natsume-kun?" she asked after a pause, "I ,um... I don't mean to be rude but could I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Um, sure," Natsume said, "what did you want to ask?"

"W-well… are-are you and Natori-san… do you… I'm sorry if it feels like I'm prying and don't get the wrong idea. I'm very fond of you and-and no matter what we'll always be friends. And also know that I won't breathe a word of anything you might have to say on the matter. Um, you-you can trust me…" Mimi trailed off.

"Uh-huh?" Natsume said hoping that he'd prompted her to continue. He had no idea what Mimi was going to say until the words left her mouth.

"Natsume-kun… are you and Natori-san involved? Romantically, I mean."

He sure wasn't suspecting that.

:::::::::::::::::::

Momoka was thrilled. It was like she was on a top secret mission like on those silly human shows that play on that moving lighting picture box. She was on a top secret mission for love!

Momoka had stealthily and sneakily followed Natori and Natsume to their "set" or the place that they worked. It would be easy to spot an opportune moment to get Natori to figure out that Natsume was in love with him here. This is where they spent the majority of their time. Perhaps Natsume had some friends with which he could talk about his feelings. That also occurred on the picture box. Adolescent humans always seemed to have someone to confide in when they were feeling the beginnings of that beautiful emotion called love bloom inside their chests.

So if Momoka knew anything about the human world it would be that Natsume needed to talk to someone. Perhaps someone older and female. Human females seemed to know a lot more about emotions than human males do. At least according to the light up picture box.

So when Natsume was approached by a young human female and told to go with her for "hair and makeup", Momoka immediately saw her chance. This was the moment when Natsume would tell his wiser and older female friend about all of the emotions building up inside of him. He had to tell someone. It was not healthy for him to have all of that bottled up inside.

Momoka followed them and listened intently to their conversation. It had started out pleasantly enough. But then Momoka almost whooped with joy when the older female human asked about Natsume's feelings. This was just what she had been waiting for.

Wasting no time at all, Momoka quick scoured the set until she was able to locate Natori.

"Crocodile smile human! Come with me quickly!"

Momoka had happened upon the actor and the opportune time when the actor was taking a drink of his coffee. In his surprise to hear the voice of a youkai on set, he proceeded to choke on the coffee that he was swallowing and then spit out the rest of the coffee that was in his mouth.

He quickly looked at Momoka and then glanced around. When he seemed to be satisfied that no other human was around he turned back to Momoka and said, "What are you doing here?"

Momoka answered with the words that she had prepared in response to the predictable question that Natori had posed. "There's no time for that! Quickly you must come with me! It's Natsume!"

Apparently that was all prompting that Natori needed because then he was running to where Momoka had come from. Momoka had to work to keep up with him and she had to work double time to surpass him.

But she was able to get in front of him and stop him in front of Natsume's trailer. Then she shushed him and told him to listen.

Natori gave her a skeptical look and asked, "What?"

"Ssshh! Natsume and his older human female friend are talking about you!" she whispered harshly.

"You dragged me out here for that?" he hissed back.

"Don't you want to know how Natsume feels about you?"

That made Natori stop and consider. Momoka could see that the temptation was too great to pass up for a mere human and instead of fight it anymore, Natori instead leaned against the door and listened.

He heard a woman's voice, probably Mimi's, say, "... hope to even understand that… If that makes sense… I'm-I'm sorry. I'm not making much sense."

There was a pause and before Natori could be too confused about what they were talking about Natsume began to speak.

"It doesn't make sense… Sometimes, … he does… drive me crazy. We don't agree on some things that really matter to me. He's kind of annoying too… never imagine myself with him in … years…."

Natori was only able to pick up on certain words from the conversation but he got the gist of it. There was a longer pause. But frankly, that was all Natori had needed to hear. He pushed himself away from the door and was going to walk back to set when Momoka stopped him by saying, "Crocodile smile human! Where are you going?"

Natori didn't even bother turning around as he said, "I have work to do…" He trailed off. After a few more steps, he turned back around and with a small sad smile on his lips he said, "But… thanks. I guess I needed to hear that. I guess that's twice you've saved me from being really creepy around Natsume… So thanks."

Without another word, Natori walked away. Momoka not knowing what else to do fretted as she flew back and forth.

Of course those fragmented statements that they had heard did sound as if the speaker was talking out of disgust but that was far from the case. It wasn't disgust but rather confusion. Natsume was trying to work through his feelings.

Their conversation went more like this.

After Mimi had asked Natsume that unprecedented question there had been a long pause of sorts until finally Natsume asked, "Why this all of a sudden?"

Mimi immediately turned a bright shade of red as she tried to explain herself.

"Well, yesterday, when Hiroshi and I saw you together, we just thought that you two were awfully fond of each other. Wh-when I looked at you two yesterday, you reminded me of us, er Hiroshi and I, I mean, when we first started dating…"

Mimi took a breath and decided to let Natsume take in that information. It seemed as though it might have short circuited him.

_Could he really not have seen it? That unadulterated adoration in Natori-san's eyes when he looks at him?_ Mimi thought.

She then started to think that maybe she had been mistaken. Natsume was a sharp boy. If he didn't notice then maybe she had seen something that wasn't there. But that couldn't have been true. Hiroshi saw it as well. They saw it yesterday at Natsume's birthday party and they saw it when Natsume went over to greet Natori on their way back to the hotel.

They couldn't have both just imagined it. There had to be something there.

But just to cover all the bases, Mimi decided to say, "I'm-I'm sorry, if that's too personal a question. I really didn't mean to cause you any unnecessary stress… I just… Hiroshi and I… we-we see the way you two look at each other. The way you two seem to connect on a whole different level than anyone else… It almost makes sense that you two should be attracted because no one can even hope to even understand that … If that makes sense… I'm-I'm sorry. I'm not making much sense."

After a pause, Natsume felt as though he should say something. But what should he say? Well, there was the truth. That's always something you're supposed to say. Mimi was a good person. She considered him a friend and the feeling was mutual. Friends were allowed to talk about stuff like this, right? About silly crushes and things that are bothering them?

"Sometimes, it doesn't make sense and sometimes it does. Sometimes the things that he does drive me crazy. We don't agree on some things that really matter to me. He's kind of annoying too. Always saying that I'm cute or something like that. I think back to when I first met him. If anyone asked me I could never imagine myself with him."

He thought back to when he first met Natori. He didn't really know him; hadn't even really seen him on TV. A complete stranger. But he was the only person that he met that could still see and talk to youkai. He'd been so excited to finally meet someone who was similar to him. Even still today, he thanked any god that cared enough to listen for sending Natori his way.

But then he had witnessed how Natori treated youkai. It was something he didn't agree with. He thought that Natori had treated the youkai with not only a lack of respect but with a ruthlessness that was unwarranted.

Then there was the constant teasing. He had been nice enough but the teasing on top of how he treated youkai just didn't sit well with Natsume. He remembered that he used to wish that he could've met someone else that shared his powers. Someone that really understood how he felt.

But then he had gotten to know him better. The teasing became more bearable because he could tease back. He thought that Natori was ruthless but it seemed that either Natori wasn't as ruthless as he first thought or he gradually became less ruthless.

And soon, Natsume had started to see him as a friend, and then a close friend, then after that more than a friend.

"But recently… I've found that I can trust him. And he's not as annoying as I thought he was. He's even… a-a little, um, cute. And he makes me laugh and no matter what he always reassures me and encourages me to do… anything. Whenever I see him, I just… immediately feel better."

Mimi stared at Natsume for a little while. Natsume, embarrassed under the gaze, looked away.

Natsume didn't know what to say after all that. What was he supposed to say?

But then Mimi asked him a question. It was a yes or no question and should have been easy enough to answer since he only needed to utter one syllable. But it wasn't that easy to answer especially if you were a private person like Natsume. He was a person that held things that were dear to him close not out in the open where anyone could see. If anyone could see, what would stop them from ruining his treasures? Nothing, that's what. So it was up to him to protect the things he treasured most by keeping them in small confined spaces or locked away in the deepest recesses of his heart.

"Do you love him?" is what Mimi asked.

But a question as important as that should be answered with the truth.

"Yes."

_**Yep, so hooray for Natsume finally admitting out loud his feelings for Natori! Hopefully he'll be able to do that again soon... preferably when Natori is around to hear him... Am I right? Anyway, thanks for reading and feel free to leave a review. I will love you forevers!** *kisses*_


	22. Chapter 22

_**Chapter 22 y'all! Oh my gosh! Thank you everyone who left really nice reviews! They made my life like nothing else. And I'm like on a roll! It's not even three weeks since I last updated! Go me! Um, so enough about that. I just want to say how awesome you guys are for supporting this story through your favoriting and alerts and reviews and I just want to give you all hugs. So without further adieu, Chapter 22.**_

Natori walked toward his trailer. When Endo spotted him, the director immediately came over and began to run his mouth about something or other. Being on time was one of them apparently. Natori stopped and let Endo run his mouth. It was best to let the director vent on him instead of someone else. Someone with blonde hair and gold eyes that insisted on bringing his over-weight cat everywhere for example.

Natori only half-listened to what Endo had to say. He nodded in all the right places and hummed affirmatively where it was appropriate all the while keeping his perfectly real-looking smile on his face. Nothing was wrong. He's been called worse than "annoying." He'd had past girlfriends (and boyfriends) call him a "manipulative snake." He really couldn't imagine how all of them had come up with that term. When he was younger he used to think that everyone was conspiring against him. He wasn't entirely convinced that it wasn't the case even now.

So something little like "annoying" shouldn't hurt at all. At least nothing this bad…

"I need you to get up on that stage and-"

Endo was cut off by a high-pitched squeal. It was coming from the direction of Natsume's trailer. Natori found himself sprinting to Natsume's trailer for the second time that day.

When he got there and opened the door, he looked around frantically and said, "What happened? Is everything all right?"

He didn't immediately find anything life-threatening. However he was met with the surprised gaze of Natsume's stylist and the shocked almost embarrassed gaze of Natsume sitting down on a chair. Natsume seemed to be getting redder before his very eyes. He also vaguely registered that Natsume had a change his hairdo but the adrenaline coursing through his veins made his mind more focused on danger and protecting Natsume.

He leapt toward Natsume and got down on his knees to get a better look at him. "Did something happen? What was that yell? There was a scream and- what happened?"

Natori scanned Natsume's face, chest, arms, legs and then back up again to see if there were any visible cuts or bite marks or anything else. He didn't find anything. Was it more of a psychological beating? That was even worse. Crap. But he couldn't help unless he knew what had happened. So he asked again this time looking in Natsume's eyes. He made sure that Natsume knew he was not kidding.

Natsume just seemed to bristle. But not in an angry way. More of an embarrassed way. His face steadily grew redder if that was even possible and he shifted in his seat.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. He whirled around to see Mimi smiling at him. Strange. Not the fact that the smile or the act of smiling was strange but Natori couldn't remember if Mimi had smiled at him before. It was a warm and familiar smile. Natori didn't know if it was a smile that fit the current situation. Natsume was hurt and this woman was smiling.

"No one was hurt, Natori-san. Nothing happened. I just… um, I saw a spider. I'm deathly afraid of them, you know. It's really nothing to worry about."

"Oh…" Natori said. There was nothing more to say really. He felt a little silly. Actually more than a little silly. Jumping to conclusions like that.

He got up from his kneeling position slowly and looked at Natsume who was having a meaningful staring contest with Mimi.

He was smiling. A true genuine smile that Natori's afraid he's gotten too used to seeing since they started working together. And it still warmed his heart to see it. At least he knew now that everything was okay thanks to that smile. His own lips twitched upwards in an almost smile.

"Well," Natori said as he stood up awkwardly, his seemingly dramatic worry for Natsume now moot. "I'll be, uh, I'll be in my trailer and… if, um, anything happens-really happens- then I'll be there… in my trailer. So, I'll go."

Mimi was giving him the strangest smile he'd ever seen on a woman and Natsume continued to sit there and he even giggled a little.

Before he was out the door, he heard Natsume say, "Thank you, Natori-san. Do your best today on stage."

It was a completely sincere statement. It wasn't patronizing or sarcastic in anyway. He didn't even think that Natsume had a sarcastic bone in his body… well, that wasn't true. Natsume did like to tease and joke sometimes but he would never joke about someone's honest feelings or if someone made a genuine attempt to protect and was baring his heart in the process. It wasn't in Natsume's nature. He was too good of a person for that. He's just too good a person in general.

If their positions had been switched, Natori would've teased him for days. Natsume would never have lived it down. On the inside, Natori would've felt extremely flattered but the only way he was capable of showing it would be to bring it up in the most annoyingly patronizing tones.

Natori would actually like to retract and amend his previous statement. Natsume is actually too good for Natori.

Natori just turned and gave him a nod and a smile while walking out of the door.

He scrubbed a hand across his face. _No wonder he thinks I'm annoying_, he thought. _Can't leave him alone for a minute and I tut and coo around him like a mother hen._

He walked to his trailer where his stylist was waiting for him. She impatiently tapped her foot and gestured to a chair so she could get to work on his hair and makeup.

Faintly, he heard Yukiko on the rampage. He rolled his eyes and got a sharp reprimand from his stylist for moving.

_Hopefully, she won't make good on her threat to leave until after we finish these last few scenes, _he thought.

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As soon as Natori left Natsume's trailer, Mimi and Natsume were giggling like a couple of mad school girls.

"Was that reaction really necessary?" Natsume asked Mimi between laughs.

Mimi shook her head. "I'm sorry, Natsume-kun," she said. "But I was just so happy to hear that you love him. That I was right. I think that the dynamic between you two is extremely romantic. I think it's important for people to establish a firm friendship in order for a romantic relationship to work. I think you two have that."

Natsume shook his head blushing all the way down his neck. "Thanks, Mimi, but there's no way Natori-san would ever think about me like that. It's one thing to be close friends or even have a… brotherly relationship, I guess. But to want… a romantic relationship is something else entirely. I mean, they're different. Those two types of relationships. And Natori's the type of person who would go after what he wants. If he wanted that kind of relationship from me, he would've said something by now…"

Natsume said the last part with a slight tilt of his head, like the idea was almost just sad enough to warrant a bow of the head. He'd actually only just thought of it now. If Mimi hadn't said anything, Natsume would've never even considered what Natori would do if he did have feelings for him. But he was probably thinking about it too much. It wouldn't happen.

Mimi nodded. "Well," she said, "he certainly has affection for you. All you really need is a good heaping pile of passion and then you two wouldn't be able to get your hands off of each other."

Natsume covered his face with his hands. "Mimi, please!" he said almost as a lament because the words "you two wouldn't be able to get your hands off of each other," gave Natsume the pleasant but unwelcome mental image of the two of them tangled together in an intimate embrace. Natsume's hands would inevitably be in Natori's hair and maybe Natori would be running his hands along his back and- Nope. Nopenopenopenopenope. Not going to entertain those thoughts.

Mimi meanwhile was giggling.

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Momoka didn't know what to do. Her very special super secret mission that was supposed to have been fool proof had been a failure.

Natsume was supposed to have told his older female friend about his feelings and Natori would have heard about it. Then once he realized that they were both being silly and denying their feelings for each other, he would've rushed through the door and grabbed Natsume and engaged in public displays of affection, like the ones the humans call "a hot steamy make-out."

However the plan completely back-fired. Now Momoka knew that Natsume could harbor secret feelings for Natori _and_ think that he was annoying. Momoka knew that human's feelings were complicated and that there were more layers to human emotion than just one. But it seemed Natori either didn't know that or chose to ignore that fact to support his flawed reasoning.

Momoka had a hard time trying to understand why Natori was trying so hard to convince himself that Natsume did not return his feelings when he had massive amounts of evidence to the contrary. The holding hands, the hugging, the looks.

Wasn't it human nature to look for happiness? Why wasn't Natori looking for what would make him happy? Why wouldn't he accept the idea of something that would make him happy? Instead he was trying to cling to this idea that to anyone else would've been undesirable. Who would try to convince themselves that someone they have feelings for doesn't feel the same?

Momoka thought that she was a pretty well-versed youkai, especially in terms of human emotions. But she didn't understand.

Maybe he just didn't quite understand yet and Natori didn't want to get his hopes up too high. Natsume is after all very important to him. Maybe all Natori needed was more convincing.

Convinced that this was the most logical solution, Momoka nodded to herself and began to once again patrol the set, looking for any opportune moment where she could get the two of them to understand what one meant to the other.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Everyone on set seemed to be abuzz with chatter and laughter. Everyone just seemed to be in a really good mood despite the bags under their eyes and the slight slump to some of their shoulders.

When Natsume got on set he was immediately greeted by Miyu.

"Takashi-kun, have you heard?"

"What?"

"We're almost done!"

Natsume had to stop and process that for a minute. "How close are we to being done?"

Miyu linked her arm around his and was leading him to the dance floor where the other extras were practicing and talked as they walked.

"Well, we still have to shoot this scene where Natori-san's character has to make his big dramatic entrance to confess his love to Yukiko's character. He's going to brave all of the yakuza around and sing a love song that will move everyone's hearts. Then Yukiko's character is going to see the errors of her ways and she's going to decide that she can't possibly live without the love of her life. So then-"

After that Miyu launched into a terribly complicated version of the remaining scenes they have to shoot complete with character analysis and everything from the camera angles to the music that will be playing in the background once the mixing and ADR is done. But from what Natsume could glean from Mimi's chatter was that they had four scenes left to shoot.

This scene, the next scene where Yukiko's character confronts her father, the scene after that where her father tells the rest of the yakuza not to chase after the lovebirds anymore because he has come to realize the love that the two share and the last scene, where the two lovebirds run into each other's arms and kiss. And then that would be what they call a wrap.

Natsume wasn't looking forward to that last scene. He supposed he didn't have to watch but he wanted to support Natori even if he was just standing on the sidelines.

And since Miyu didn't say anything about stunts, he guessed that he didn't need to dress up as Yukiko anymore which was a relief.

Amid his other thoughts, there was a prominent feeling of sadness. This whole experience had been a whirlwind of emotion, sure, but there was a lot that he'd learned too. He met so many wonderful people and it made him kind of sad that he might not be able to see them again after they finish. But he supposed that he could dwell on those melancholy thoughts when they actually do finish. He thinks it'll probably take at least two more days to shoot the rest. He'll have to let the Fujiwaras know that he'll be… he'll be home soon.

But he was pulled out of his musings when they suddenly stopped walking. Miyu positioned herself in front of Natsume and rested one hand on his shoulder and then held the other one out as if waiting for him to take it. She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

He just smiled and took her hand and they began to practice their dancing.

"So…" Miyu said after awhile. "You… you didn't tell anyone, right?"

Natsume shook his head. "No, I didn't. Just like I promised."

Miyu nodded her head. Then after a pause she said, "I didn't tell anyone either… you know… about your… um, about what you said yesterday."

Natsume smiled. He knew she wouldn't have but it's nice to hear that Miyu could keep a secret. He didn't like to admit it but he had been worried. Miyu did love to talk.

"Do… do you think you're going to do anything about it?" Miyu asked.

Natsume blushed. "I… uh, probably not."

"O-oh."

Miyu looked a little lost after his answer like she had been expecting Natsume to say something different. Something that she could do too. Maybe she thought that Natsume would have said that he'd tell the object of his affections exactly how he felt about them. Then maybe she could've drawn encouragement from that and that maybe she could do the same. She could go up to her crush and not be afraid of her feelings and that maybe everything would turn out okay.

But Natsume didn't know if things could turn out okay. For him and maybe for Miyu. But he didn't want Miyu to give up just because Natsume didn't think the best option entailed telling your crush your feelings. Miyu should be able to speak her mind because… well, she did little else.

"But… I think you should. I think you should tell her because what have you got to lose?"

Miyu looked up at him and put on an indignant pout. "What do I have to lose? Well my dignity for one thing. And what if she tells me I'm disgusting. I don't know how I would deal with that…"

Natsume didn't really know how to respond to that. He wasn't the best person to talk to about relationships. But something deep inside Natsume was telling him it was wrong to hide. That it was wrong to put down other people for their feelings just because… they felt them. It's okay to love someone. It's even okay to not love someone back because you can't help it. But ridiculing someone for their feelings is just wrong.

He had half a mind to tell Miyu this and almost did. But just as he was taking a breath, Endo walked up on stage.

"In a few minutes we'll be starting to shoot everyone. And all you extras need to do is dance until Natori starts singing and then stop and turn to look at him and just pretend that we're all really surprised to see him. Then he'll start to sing and you will all have a happy dreamy look in your eyes. It'll be romantic and feel free to give your partner meaningful looks of love and all that crap. Nothing too hackneyed or anything just… do it. Subtlety. Alright?"

Everyone sounded in the affirmative.

"Good. All right. Places, everybody."

Natsume and Miyu resumed their dancing. Natsume couldn't keep his heartbeat low. Natori was going to sing for everyone and he couldn't wait to hear it. Those few notes that he caught on the way out of his shower were nice. Natori probably had a very good stage presence and he probably sang with a lot of feeling.

When Endo yelled "Action!" Natori took his cue and picked his way through the crowd. Natsume could tell because some of the extras were shifting to let him through. Natsume could even see him from where he was standing.

Natsume was once again overcome with awe as he watched Natori work. Everything that was Natori had been stripped away and in its place there was only his character. Rin was picking his way through the crowd with a determination that could've been similar to Moses' determination as he parted the Red Sea. Rin needed to get to that stage so he could tell the woman he loved that he'd brave the lion's den to be with her.

Soon he was able to climb up on stage just as the live entertainment was going to strike up a song. There were a few beats of confusion on Rin's part as he struggled with what to do but then a smile appeared on his face. The music started and he locked eyes with where Yukiko would be in the crowd and gave her an exceedingly attractive grin. Natsume wouldn't admit it if anyone asked him but he felt a tiny bit jealous that the grin wasn't directed at him. But he comforted himself with the knowledge that Natori was playing a part and really didn't mean it.

When the intro was through playing, Natori opened his mouth and sung. Clear, crisp and beautiful notes flew from Natori's mouth.

The song started off slow. Natsume could hear Miyu's words in his head. "It's perfect for this scene because it reflects the hesitance on both parts in regards to the relationship. Rin knows what he wants but he's not sure what Kyoko wants. But as the song progresses he becomes surer of himself and that in terms makes Kyoko surer of herself and it's just incredibly romantic."

The song throughout had a mellow tone, nothing too urgent. But the way Natori sang made it seem like this song was the world. A world that the character had built just for him and Kyoko where they could live happily and where no one could bother them. If only it's message could be understood then everything would be better. If only the one who was supposed to receive the message of the song were to finally understand. If only they could accept what was being said to them. Then there could be a happily ever after.

But while all of those other thoughts were swirling inside his head there was also the most prominent one. Natori was a damn good singer. Natsume didn't know why but sometimes when Natori would hit that higher note just right or hold a note in a perfect belt, it made him weak in the knees just a little bit.

It was beautiful what he could do with his voice. It was just… beautiful.

And then the song ended. Natori with the guise of his character slumped his shoulders and opened his arms in a helpless shrug as he looked at Yukiko. He had the stupidest grin on his face.

"Cut! Beautiful," Endo said.

The whole ballroom erupted into thunderous applause. Even Natsume had to clap. Miyu clapped and threw in a couple of wolf whistles for good measure.

Natori looked up and around and waved giving everyone a gracious smile. Then he caught Natsume's eyes. There was something in his eyes. Something like uncertainty. Natsume couldn't fathom what it was doing there particularly after such a beautiful performance. So Natsume gave him his best reassuring smile as he kept clapping.

Natori's eyes ripped from his when Endo patted him on the back with a big smile of his own.

"Good job, Natori! Alright let's take it one more time. Everyone reset. Let's do it again!"

So they did it again. A few more times in fact. Each time Natori did a little something or other differently. But nothing beyond that changed. The level of performance was still just as masterful as it was the first time. And each time Natsume felt his heartbeat increase just a tiny bit more and his knees go a little bit weaker when Natori started to sing again.

And it probably had shown on his face too because a few times he would catch Miyu staring at him. The first time she was staring at him with a gob smacked look. She would stare at him and then stare at Natori. The next time she gave him a questioning look as if she was asking, "Really? Him?" Natsume just gave her a little shrug and smiled. The last time he caught her staring at him she was smiling too. And all he could do was smile back as they let Natori's singing wash over them.

It was such a beautiful sound.

After they had done the scene a few more times, Endo was finally pleased with all of their takes. In fact he was so pleased that he found it in his heart to give them all an hour break for lunch.

As soon as everyone was leaving and going the very few different ways that they could go, Natsume disentangled himself from Miyu and went to meet Natori.

Natori was making his way off of the stage and when he caught sight of Natsume… there was that uncertainty again.

At the moment, Natsume thought that it may have something to do with his performance. Like he wasn't sure if it was good or not. It was only much much later that it occurred to him that Natori was exceedingly confident in all areas of performance to the point some people may have described it as cocky.

But that idea didn't occur until well after the project was over.

So thinking that it had to do with some insecurity, Natsume went up to him and said, "That was really something."

Natori blinked as if he were surprised by the compliment. "Yeah?" he asked.

There was still a trace of that uncertainty which Natsume didn't like to see there at all. Natori should always be confident because that's who Natori is.

"Yep," Natsume answered. Then he put a little grin on his face and said, "It was almost as good as that time you were singing 'moo.'"

There was a moment where Natori looked confused. Natsume was afraid that he'd just failed terribly at making a joke and was promptly going to cover his face with his hands and never show his face around Natori again. But then clarity shown through Natori's eyes and he got the joke. A smile spread across his face and all of that uncertainty was gone. Natori even let out a low chuckle.

"Well that's quite a compliment. I don't know how I'll ever top that performance," Natori said. He had the biggest grin that Natsume had ever seen on him.

"I don't think you can," was Natsume's reply.

_**So I hope this wasn't too boring for you guys. It'll get a lot more interesting this next chapter I promise! I just had to set up a few things first. Anyway thanks for reading and if you're so inclined leave me a comment and tell me your thoughts. *kisses***_


	23. Chapter 23

_**Hey, guys. Kind of late. Sorry. School started up again and that's never a good thing. I've got a lot going on this semester and I'll try to get you guys an update on a semi-regular basis, but I make no promises. But know that I love each and everyone of you for favoriting and following and reviewing this story and that you guys are the only reason I keep writing this thing. With that being said, I hope you all will enjoy this chapter!**_

Endo came bounding up to them soon after that with a pleased smile on his face. "Natori," he said,  
>"you did fabulous today. Absolutely phenomenal."<p>

Natori gave the director a wry smile and said, "Endo, you flatter me. But I know you're just saying that because we're almost done here and you really just can't wait to not see my face ever again."

Endo guffawed and said, "Can't say that isn't partially true. But anyway, since we're pretty ahead of schedule, I figured I give you two the rest of the day to enjoy yourselves."

At both of their dumbfounded expressions, Endo gave both Natsume and Natori the warmest smile that either of them had ever seen on Endo.

"I know. I can be a complete dick. But honestly, you two don't have to stick around here. We've got a couple more scenes to go through but that's really only with Yukiko and some supporting cast members. So go out, enjoy yourselves and oh!" Endo fished some money out of his pocket and thrust it into Natori's hand. "Here," he said. "Lunch is on me. But Natori make sure you're back here on time tomorrow for the big final scene with Yukiko. Y'know the one where you kiss and it's the big dramatic ending and everyone claps and yadda yadda, okay?"

"Um, but-" Natsume was about to protest but then Natori quickly talked over him.

"Right. Yes. I'll be here tomorrow so don't you worry. Thank you, Endo. You're clearly not as much of an asshole as everybody says you are. You're so benevolent and kind. Thank you."

Natori turned to Natsume.

"Let's go."

"But-"

Natori grabbed him by the hand and flashed Endo one more smile over his shoulder as he led Natsume away from the set.

"Thanks again, Endo. Have fun shooting the rest!"

When they were further away, Natsume shot Natori an annoyed look. "We didn't have to take his money. I have a little money and I'm sure you have some too. So why did you take it?"

"Natsume," Natori started as if he were talking to a little boy who didn't have the faintest idea on how to lie yet so was always exceedingly endearingly honest about everything. "Of course we didn't need to take his money but he was offering it. It's rude to refuse gifts especially from someone who doesn't just… give a lot. He gave us the rest of the afternoon off and we, my darling Natsume, are going to enjoy ourselves courtesy of our benevolent Endo."

Natsume fought down a blush at being called "darling" but pressed on. "But I still don't think we should've taken his money."

Natori stopped walking and looked Natsume in the eye. His expression was soft and slightly confused as if he didn't understand why Natsume was having a hard time accepting this.

"We didn't 'take' it, Natsume. I mean, we did but not in the way you seem to be implying. All in all, I think Endo owes you more than lunch, Natsume. If you ask me, he should be paying you more than the occasional birthday cake and now lunch. And treating us to lunch is just his way of saying thanks for all of our hard work. And… to be completely honest and this may be shocking but even Endo would be deeply hurt if you were to refuse his act of kindness. So come on, Natsume. Have lunch with me?"

Natori swore up and down that he didn't want that to slip out. At least not like it was an incredibly sleazy come on.

But to his surprise, Natsume didn't even bat an eye. He just seemed to replay everything that Natori had just said to him to see if he could make an argument. Then Natsume smiled and nodded.

"Okay. Where to?"

:::::::::::::::::::::

_Aha!_ Momoka thought.

She hadn't been eavesdropping… per se. No no no no no no no. Not eavesdropping. Just listening in to a conversation. But it wasn't rude because she had a mission to fulfill. Yes! A mission of true love. Its purpose was greater than any other mission combined.

But regardless, Momoka had heard something that would possibly help her in her mission.

Tomorrow, the crocodile-smile human was going to "shoot the scene" where he has to kiss somebody. Now Momoka didn't really know what "shooting the scene" meant but she definitely knew what kissing somebody was.

And why not kiss Natsume? They were both in love with each other. They both wanted to kiss each other. And it didn't matter that they didn't know it because after they kiss it wouldn't matter. They'd never want to stop the kissing. Yes it was a brilliant idea.

All she had to do was convince them that Natsume is the perfect person that Natori could be "shooting the scene" with. And then they would kiss and then they would know that they were in love with each other because no one could fake the spark that was felt in their hearts when two people kissed. It was just unheard of.

Now she just needed to go and find them and convince them that this was a fool-proof plan.

:::::::::::::::::::::

While the two were talking about where to go for lunch, Natori had mentioned something about eating somewhere that had burgers.

"I suppose I've had something resembling a craving for them lately," Natori said.

Natsume nodded and said that it was a fantastic idea. But just before they were heading out, Natsume was surprised to see Momoka hovering around set. She was turning every which way and seemed like she was looking for something.

"Momoka? What is Momoka doing here?" Natsume asked.

Natori looked up, saw the little bird youkai and let out a weary worn sigh. Natsume wasn't entirely sure but he could've sworn Natori mumbled something about ruining lives.

But before Natori could think about making a getaway, Momoka turned and saw them and lit up immediately. She flew over to them with an excited tweeting sound and said, "I've found you two."

Natsume slightly confused and a little wary because of her plot against them said, "Were you looking for us, Momoka?"

"Yes, because I wanted to talk to the both of you about this 'shooting the scene' that crocodile-smile human is going to engage in tomorrow."

"What about it?" Natori asked with a subtle but definitely present hint of unease. Natsume quickly shifted his gaze from Momoka to Natori and found that annoying stonewall mask of an expression on Natori's face.

"Well," Momoka started as Natsume once again returned his attention to her, "I was thinking about this 'shooting the scene' tomorrow. That if you could choose to do it with someone… well, who would it be?"

Natori answered almost immediately, "It doesn't matter _who _I want to do it with because I have to do it with Yukiko."

Natsume grimaced. Natsume missed the worried glance that Natori shot him. He didn't miss the rather pointed look that Momoka gave him, however, before she pressed on.

"Who is this Yukiko and why must it be her that you engage the 'shooting the scene' with?"

"Yukiko is the lead actress and I have to do the scene with her because that's what the script says and it's my job to do what the script says," Natori answered.

Momoka seemed confused. "But you do not care for this Yukiko in that way. Why would you have to kiss her?"

"Like I said, it's my job. It's what I'm getting paid to do."

Momoka shook her head. "No no no no no! You do not kiss someone because of payment. You kiss someone because you love them truly. Therefore-"

Momoka was interrupted by a loud screech coming from Yukiko's dressing room and then a second shriek accompanied it that wasn't Yukiko's voice. Yukiko's voice continued but the other voice was less audible now.

Natsume started and whispered something under his breath. He jerked toward the sound only to be held back by Natori. Natsume looked down and saw that their hands were still entwined together. He'd apparently forgotten all about it. Had it become so natural and so right that they hold hands that it was almost a given that they did so? That he could forget Natori's hand was there just holding his?

When Natsume looked up he saw a similar look of consideration on Natori's face as he also stared at their hands intertwined as if Natori had been thinking the same questions he had.

There was another screech and it reminded Natsume of what he had to do.

He turned to Natori and said, "A friend of mine… I think that was her. I need to go and see if it was her and see if she's alright."

Natori tightened his grip and said, "I'll come with you."

"No. You go and have lunch and we can meet up later. I think it'd be better if it was just me." He gave Natori a pleading look, willing him to understand.

Natori didn't understand but for Natsume's sake he pretended to. Natori nodded and reluctantly let go of the one hand he never wanted to let go of. He watched as their fingers slipped from each other. Natsume flashed him a grateful smile then as he dashed off toward the scene that was no doubt unfolding for all to see.

Natori looked at his hand. He'd completely forgot that he'd been holding Natsume's hand in his. But now with Natsume gone, he was acutely and painfully missing it. He thought briefly that at first holding Natsume's hand had been a presence of something warm and wonderful. But then he forgot about it… No, that wasn't quite right. He didn't think about it like how people don't really think about breathing. It doesn't make breathing any less important but you really notice when you can't breathe. And apparently, Natori really notices when he can't hold Natsume's hand.

After a few beats of silence, Momoka said, "I was going to say 'Therefore, the two of you should be shooting the scene together.' Something always gets in the way of my plans."

Natori despite himself let out a laugh. "Don't get me wrong. I'd love to do the scene with him but I can't. It's a scripted scene between two fictional characters, Momoka. It doesn't mean anything and if by some weird twist of fate, I'd have to do the scene with Natsume, it still wouldn't mean anything. Because it's a part. For a movie. It's not real."

Momoka seemed like she couldn't stomach the information Natori had just given her.

"You cannot say that if the two of you were to kiss it would not mean something! Of course it would mean something."

Natori shook his head. "You're talking to the wrong guy. I've kissed so many people and it's never meant anything. Never. It's not that I don't want it to mean something… it just needs to mean something. If it means something it won't have a script backing it up and it won't be perfect… but in the same way it will be perfect."

Then Natori shook himself out of the romantic dreamy haze he worked himself into and rolled his eyes. "Now, listen to me. I'm talking in circles and not making any sense."

Natori started to walk toward the exit but Momoka followed him.

"But if you were given the chance to kiss Natsume, would you?"

Natori let out a self-deprecating laugh and said, "Probably. I don't think I'd be able to control myself I want it so bad. I definitely want to kiss him more than I want to kiss Yukiko. But I'm hoping that if that ever does become a possibility, that I'll choose something that won't get Natsume to hate me."

Momoka huffed. She wasn't getting any help from Natori and he seemed to be less likely to help himself in anything. But she needed for them to kiss and discover their love for each other. She needed this to happen otherwise the both of them would never be as happy as they could be.

But how?

"Will… Natsume also be 'shooting the scene' tomorrow?"

When Natori gave her an "Are you serious?" look she quickly amended her question. "Well obviously not with you. But does he have a 'shooting the scene' tomorrow as well? Like you do? A… what did you call it…? A job? Does Natsume have 'a part'?"

Natori nodded, understanding what Momoka was trying to get at. He explained Natsume's "part" in all of this as best as he could while also trying to get across that no, Natsume couldn't fill in for something like this because that wasn't his job.

Momoka huffed. "All of this talk about jobs and parts. It shouldn't get in the way of true love! Ridiculous!"

"It's not ridiculous. The only thing that's ridiculous around here is the fact that you think something will come of this. Between me and him."

"No you are the one who is ridiculous! And I will prove it!"

With that, an angry bird youkai angrily flew away in a huff. Natori was left to shake his head and wonder what a small youkai could possibly do to prove that he was being ridiculous.

:::::::::::::::::::

Natsume ran as fast as his legs could carry him toward Yukiko's dressing room. And to his horror he found exactly what he had been expecting.

Miyu was looking steadily at the ground and she was… she was shaking. Yukiko looked even more pissed off than any other time in the entire time that Natsume had been a part of this project.

Natsume looked and between their feet was a single crumpled up flower. It was so mangled that Natsume couldn't even guess what type of flower it used to be. But the petals were red, that was for sure.

And Yukiko… Yukiko was screaming the most horrible things at Miyu.

"How dare you barge in here and make fun of me! How dare you! And with such a disgusting notion! A woman being in love with another woman! It's disgusting!"

Yukiko was going to spout out more but Natsume had enough.

He quickly moved and stood by Miyu's side and stared Yukiko down. "Stop it. Leave her alone!"

"Leave _her _alone? Tell her to leave _me_ alone! She came into _my_ trailer and started saying how she had feelings for me! She's making fun of me because of how many admirers I have! Just go get her out of my sight and while you're at it get me some iced tea!"

Miyu was shaking and on the verge of tears and yet she still tried to get Yukiko to understand.

"But… but Yukiko-san, I wasn't making fun of you… I really do have feelings for you. I… I'm sorry if you thought that-"

"I told you to get out of here!"

And that was all it took. Miyu completely broke down. She covered her face with her hands but it wasn't enough to hide the pained sobs that escaped her.

Natsume put a hand on her shoulder and led her away, not without giving Yukiko the dirtiest of looks imaginable though. He did have a nearly impossible urge to tell her off for yelling at Miyu like that but Miyu looked stressed enough and probably didn't need to hear anymore raised voices.

As they walked away, Yukiko threatened to leave once again. "This time I'm serious!" she said. Natsume rolled his eyes and bit his tongue so he wouldn't scoff.

He led Miyu back to the studio and made her sit down. He briefly had a thought to go get her some coffee or something to help calm her nerves but when he asked her she just grabbed his hand with a vice grip and shook her head.

So he stayed with her. She cried for awhile. Natsume wasn't sure for how long. He didn't know what to do to make her feel better or if she could feel better after being rejected like that. But he could try.

He got down on one knee so he was more or less at her level, then he slowly and carefully wrapped his arms around her in a slightly awkward hug. It was only awkward for about a second until Miyu realized what was going on and wrapped her arms around Natsume in turn.

They stayed like that for a long time. Natsume didn't know what to say so he didn't say anything and Miyu hardly said anything either.

That is until Miyu said, "I'm sorry… for this."

"Don't apologize. She shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

Miyu sniffed. "Why not? I should've known it wouldn't work. I should've…"

Natsume felt like he should say something along the lines of "Well, you tried and it didn't work out. But there'll be other times when you'll tell someone that you like that you like them then they'll tell you that they like you back and everything will be good and you'll be happy then." But it didn't seem right talking about how someone will be happy in the future when right now they're miserable.

Instead Natsume simply said, "You did what you needed to."

Miyu lets out a broken sob and buried her face into the crook of Natsume's shoulder. And Natsume just rubbed her back and hoped that since he couldn't say anything comforting that simple actions like this would help.

And while she cried there was a small bird youkai who was extremely sympathetic to her plight.

Momoka had certainly had enough of that human Yukiko. First she was in the way of two people who want to love each other but can't and now she would not accept the love of someone merely because of their gender.

The human did keep saying how much it wishes to leave. Momoka thought that maybe with the right push, she'd do just that.

::::::::::::::::::::

Meanwhile, Natori was wandering around town. He hadn't exactly wanted to go to lunch by himself. He wasn't really that hungry and besides what if he suddenly ran into Natsume and he hadn't eaten yet? Natori couldn't just let him eat alone, could he?

His wanderings led him into a little shop on a street corner. It had caught Natori's eyes because it wasn't eye-catching. Most of the shops around here had big signs with neon lights or bright colors to signal pedestrians to come in and spend money.

This shop however didn't have signs like that. There was a window display that had of a mannequin wearing what looked to be a handmade outfit and a leather belt and just… a lot of leather bracelets. And that was the whole display.

Interested, Natori walked in and a bell rang. A store clerk came out from behind a drape pinned up to act as a door for a small doorway behind the counter. Natori looked around and saw that there were more leather bracelets and belts.

The store clerk was a short middle aged man with a beard. "Good afternoon," he said. "If you see anything you like you can talk to me about it. The bracelets are always a good choice for a present for someone you're thinking of. We can also engrave your purchase for free."

Natori smiled and walked over to the nearest table with leather bracelets strewn about them haphazardly and began perusing. "What kinds of engravings to you do?"

"Well, the usual, I'd say. You know… Names, mostly. Uhh, places. Gotten quite good at the English alphabet when foreigners come in here asking for 'I heart Japan'. Also been getting pretty good at other stuff. Symbols. Sometimes people ask for snakes. Anything you like really and if you don't like it you can always send it back and I'll try again. No extra charge."

Natori nodded and he found one that would perfectly fit someone that he's been thinking about. Suddenly he had an idea.

"How good are you at engraving lizards?"

_**Oh my goodness! What could Natori possibly have planned? The little devil! Anyway thank you guys so much for reading and if you're so inclined I welcome any feedback or comments or questions that you may have. *kisses***_


	24. Chapter 24

_**hi... if you guys don't remember me, I'm the terrible person that hasn't updated in forever... Hello. I brought you an update. It's kind of long... ish? You'll either like the ending or hate it. I'm not sure yet. But please enjoy.**_

_**However I'd like to take the time to give a special shout out to Silver-dipped. She drew really cute fanart for Problem on Set and you all should totally check it out. And plus she's super cool.**_

_**So here's the chapter. And feel free to tell me what you think if you keep reading to the end. I love hearing about it. 3**_

Later when Natsume got back to their hotel room, he just felt tired. Emotionally exhausted some would call it. He normally made an effort to not drag his feet when he walked but he couldn't help but drag them a little bit now.

"Natsume, are you alright? Everything go okay?"

Natsume looked up to see Natori getting up off his bed and making his way towards him. A look of concern was etched across his features. Once within reaching distance, Natori reached out both of his arms and placed his hands on Natsume's shoulders. Natori made a move to crouch down to get a good look at Natsume's face but Natsume just tilted his face up instead. He was going to look anyway. By trying to hide, Natsume would've just made things more difficult on the both of them.

They held each other's gaze for a few moments as Natsume tried to think of an appropriate answer. He sort of gave up trying to sort it out in his head and then shrugged.

"I don't know," he said.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Natsume nodded. Then after a moment's pause shook his head. Then he looked up helplessly at Natori and shrugged as he shook his head.

Natori smiled but it lacked the usual luster than when he was teasing him. It looked a little more drawn and watered down. "I get the feeling you're conflicted."

Natsume gave a small smile in return that lasted a brief second. Then it fell away as he said, "I just don't know if I should talk about it…"

Natoir briefly went over every situation that he could think of that would, through the eyes of society, make it Natsume's moral obligation to talk about it.

"Is it anything that's illegal?"

Natsume looked up at him with a surprised and sort of horrific look. "What? No."

"Is anyone hurting themselves?"

"No."

"Is anyone hurting anyone else?"

"…No. Not… physically."

"Verbally?"

Natsume looked away and nodded.

"How often?"

"Um… just today. I think."

Natori stared at Natsume. After a few beats Natsume glanced back up at Natori. "I think you should talk about it, Natsume. Whether to me or someone else, okay?"

Natsume nodded and then after taking a few breaths he began. He started at the beginning. He left out Miyu's name and hoped that Natori wouldn't ask. He didn't. Natsume briefly explained that his friend didn't want anyone to know about her fatal attraction to this other girl.

Natori just stood there patiently and waited for Natsume's story to end. After all was said and done, Natsume finished with, "I don't know if I helped at all. How can I help?"

Natori tried to think of what to say.

"Well, Natsume, there's nothing else for it except to be her friend right now. Let her know you're there for her and that the opinion of one person can't and shouldn't change who a person is. Just be there for her."

Natsume took a minute to consider what Natori had told him and then let a smile spread across his face. "Like… like you are for me?" the boy asked shyly.

Natori's response was immediate and emphatic. "Yes, Natsume. Always."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

They spent the rest of the day doing work-free and Endo-free and Yukiko-free activities. Natsume had mentioned a movie that he'd wanted to see and it just so happened that it was on the hotel's pay-per-view. They ordered room service since neither of them had eaten anything since breakfast.

Natori ordered some kind of fancy pasta dish while Natsume simply ordered a cheeseburger with fries. The fries were really good except sadly Natsume didn't get to eat all of them. Natori stole a few and popped them into his mouth as he laughed at Natsume's disgruntled face.

Natsume couldn't let a crime like that go unpunished. He batted Natori's hand away and told him that he had a perfectly good plate of food in front of him so he should eat that instead.

Natori just gave Natsume this smile that strangely infuriated him and also gave him tingly feelings in the pit of his stomach.

Natori only gave him a few minutes of peace before he started to plunder Natsume's poor unsuspecting fries again. Natsume reasoned that if Natori wanted fries so bad then he wouldn't object to having all of them. So Natsume took a handful of fries and started pelting Natori's face with them.

That of course led to some retaliation on Natori's part. He took some of the fries that fell on the floor and chucked them back at Natsume. Natsume giggled and tried to dodge the deep-fried projectiles but unfortunately one got stuck in his hair and even more unfortunately that one had a bit of ketchup on it that left a big red splotch on Natsume's hair.

Natori stifled his laughter with one hand but couldn't help a "pffffft" sound escape.

Natsume stopped and felt at his head. When he brought his hand back down and saw a smear of ketchup, Natsume looked at Natori mischievously.

"Natsume… What are you thinking? Stop. You're scaring me," Natori said.

"I'm not thinking about anything," Natsume replied coolly but his voice had a deeper register to it than how he normally spoke. Natori suppressed a shiver.

"I'm pretty sure you're thinking about something and if I had to guess it would be murder."

"You got me."

Immediately after the words escaped his mouth, Natsume tackled Natori to the ground. Natori landed with an "oof!" as the wind got knocked out of him and Natsume landed on top of him.

He spent a while gasping and when Natsume realized that Natori actually couldn't breathe and wasn't playing he immediately leapt off of Natori and proceeded to fret over him all the while feeling extremely guilty. He was still kneeling close by but Natsume gave him a good bit of space.

"Oh my god, Natori-san, I'm so sorry. Should we get an ambulance? Oh god! Please don't die! I'll never do that ever again! I'm so sorry."

It didn't take long for Natori to get his breath back and when he could speak, he held out his hand to Natsume.

"It's alright. I'm fine. See? Breathing, alive, and all the good things that living humans do. Let's just wait a little bit before we start wrestling, okay?"

Natsume took his hand saying, "I'm sorry. We don't have to wrestle ever again really."

Natori squeezed Natsume's hand and pulled him closer. "Natsume, I know you think that I'm old but I'm not that old. I just got the wind knocked out of me. I'll be fine."

Natsume let himself be drawn closer. "I don't believe it. I'm going to have to keep an extra eye on you now. You're going senile."

Natori snorted. "You are such a brat."

Natsume smiled. Then it slowly faded as his eyes flicked and moved as if searching for an answer he'd been waiting for. Natori could feel himself getting a little hot under the collar from all that scrutiny but the last thing he wanted to do was tense up. He wanted to be open and relaxed for Natsume. Natori had a feeling that if he tensed up now then he'd scare Natsume away from whatever it was that he was trying to accomplish.

So he just laid there, smiling and waiting patiently for Natsume to make up his mind.

Eventually, Natsume did.

Natsume moved slowly at first, as if he were going to scare Natori away (which was a ridiculous idea, if you were to ask Natori, Natori would never in his right mind shy away from Natsume). Natsume moved from his kneeling position to slowly situate himself to be half-lying on top of Natori. Natori noticed that Natsume was turning an impressive shade of red. Natsume rested his head on Natori's shoulder and draped an arm over his chest.

Natori in turn wrapped his arms around Natsume. One hand played with his hair and the other rested on Natsume's waist.

Natsume was tense for a bit but then slowly relaxed against Natori. Neither of them spoke for awhile. Natori wasn't about to break the silence and he wanted to wait and see if Natsume wanted to talk or if he didn't at all.

"Natori-san…" Natsume eventually said.

"Yes?" Natori answered.

"Umm… my friend from this afternoon… well, she-she wasn't wrong, was she?"

Wrong?

"What do you mean 'wrong', Natsume?"

"I mean, she-it wasn't wrong that she liked a girl, was it?"

"No. I don't think it's wrong that she had feelings for another girl."

Natsume made a sort of humming affirmation in response.

"Do you think it's wrong, Natsume?"

He felt more than saw Natsume shrug.

"No," he replied weakly.

Natori frowned and started to rub little circles into Natsume's back. "If you don't mind me saying, you sound a little unsure," Natori said.

"No, it's not that I think it's wrong. I think she should be allowed to like whoever she likes but she thinks it's wrong. Before, she was saying that she should only have a boyfriend and that it wasn't proper for her to have a girlfriend and then I sort of convinced her that it wasn't as wrong as she thought. And I think that's what made her confess to Yukiko-"

"Yukiko! She had a crush on Yukiko?"

Natsume slapped a hand over his mouth. "No-I mean yes… but you weren't supposed to know that."

Natori continued to run a hand through Natsume's hair as he said, "It's okay, Natsume. I won't tell anyone… but now the story makes a whole lot more sense. You know when you were telling me that the other girl was screaming at you both to get out and to bring her an iced tea I sort of had this odd feeling that it was her."

Natsume gave Natori a withering look and Natori smiled and prompted Natsume to continue with what he was saying.

"But after she got such a negative reaction to her feelings," Natsume said, "I think she's back to where she was in the beginning. That she thinks it's wrong for her to have these feelings and that if she does she just needs to keep it all inside and not express them. And I don't like that. I think she should be able to express her feelings however she wants – I mean, as long as she's not hurting anybody. But I don't know how to convince her it's okay, especially since the last time I told her anything like it she had such a bad experience…"

Natsume trailed off and remained quiet for awhile. Natori took the time to think of a reasonable way to explain how not wrong feelings and wanting romantic attention from anyone are.

"Think of it this way, okay?"

Natsume looked up at Natori and waited for him to continue.

"You have friends at school, right, Natsume? Those two boys you hang out with all the time. What were their names?"

"Nishimura and Kitamoto."

"Right. They're both male, aren't they?"

"Yes. But I don't love them like that."

"No, but wouldn't you say that in a way you love them? Not romantically but in a platonic way. You care about them and they care about you. Same with your other friend Tanuma, right?"

"I… I guess. Yeah," Natsume replies.

"And you think that it's alright to love them like that, right?"

"Um, yeah. Definitely."

"Okay, then let's say one day, completely hypothetically, your feelings for one of your friends turns romantic. It's still basically the same. You care about them and they care about you. The only thing that's different is that maybe you want to kiss them once in awhile. So why is one type of love more wrong than the other?"

Natsume didn't say anything for awhile and Natori could practically feel him thinking. Natori smiled. Natsume was probably the only kid he ever met who could be so smart but then so dumb at the same time.

Natsume was a thinker not only that he was a silent thinker. Natori could only imagine how many hours Natsume would spend alone. Each day, he would probably draw into himself more and more. He kept his thoughts firmly locked inside his own head. The only glimpse you could get into his thought processes would be his actions but sometimes those are misleading. Sometimes Natsume would smile when he didn't want to and sometimes he'd stay put when he wanted to run away.

In a way, he was also very impulsive. At least when it came to other people. If he felt even the slightest chance that someone, an innocent someone, was in trouble then Natsume would drop everything and in that moment nothing would be as important as that someone's safety.

Natori wasn't so impulsive. He had to think first. He had to weigh all his options or at least as many as he could given how much time he had before a decision had to be made.

It was just one more thing that Natori admired about Natsume.

"I guess," Natsume said, "it's not very different at all. So it's not wrong."

"Yep," Natori answered happily.

Natsume pushed himself up so he could look at Natori better. Looking at each other, Natsume said, "Thanks, Natori-san."

"You're very welcome, you cheeky little bastard."

Natsume rolled his eyes and settled back down to rest on Natori's shoulder. It was in that moment that Natori really felt how tired he was. He wanted to go to sleep but he also didn't want to move. Lying on the ground like this was probably not the best things for his back.

"Natsume," Natori said after awhile, "don't get me wrong or anything, but I just wanted to ask…"

"Mmhmm?"

"Are we just going to lie here on the ground and cuddle for the rest of the night?"

"Cuddle?"

"Uhh, yeah. I mean, I'm completely fine with that by the way. I'm just asking because maybe my old man back would be more comfortable if we got some blankets or pillows or something."

Natsume giggled and got up. Natori followed suit and they found spare blankets in the closet and took some of the extra pillows from the bed and made a little makeshift cuddle spot on the floor. The operation was not without its setbacks because the temptation to start a pillow fight was too great for either of them to truly resist. When they were well and truly tired out they made their way over to their cuddle spot.

"Oh, hold on!" Natori said as he ambled over to his bag. He got a small brown paper bag out. He walked over to Natsume with it who was now sitting down among the mass of pillows and blankets that they accumulated. Natori knelt down next to Natsume unable to meet the boy's gaze because of how nervous he was.

"Um, I got you something," Natori said. He offered the bag to Natsume and he took it with a curious look on his face.

"Sorry," Natori continued, "I didn't have any wrapping paper or anything otherwise I would've wrapped it. And I know it's a little late but I figured better late than never, right? Umm, so just think of it as a late birthday present."

"But, Natori-san, you didn't have to buy me anything. I mean you already-"

"Natsume, I bought this for you because I wanted to. Now open it up before I hit you over the head with it and open it up for you."

Natsume huffed a laugh and opened the small bag. He fished out the present and found that it was a leather bracelet. The bracelet itself was mostly a long rectangular shape with an image of a lizard engraved on it. The ends were braids that could be fastened together for easier application and removal. But the lizard design looked suspiciously like…

Natsume looked up to see if he could find it. He could. It was currently crawling up the front of Natori's neck. Natsume met Natori's eyes silently asking, why.

"Remember how on your birthday you told me about when you were younger the other kids in your class had a best friend and they would give each other little tokens that would tell the other kids that out of all the other kids in the class that they were best friends? And they matched?"

Natsume nodded slowly starting to feel tears prick his eyes.

"Well, I just kept thinking to back when we first met. The first time I ever saw you smile was when the lizard crawling around on my skin wrapped around my wrist and you said you thought it looked like a bracelet. So I thought… umm, I guess it's not exactly like what you wanted but… Sorry, maybe it's a little dumb. Um, if you don't like it I could take it ba-"

Natori had stopped making eye contact with Natsume about halfway through his explanation. So he was caught completely off guard when Natsume cut him off by wrapping his arms around Natori's neck and squeezing.

"No," Natsume rasped. His throat was tight from trying not to cry but his efforts were made fruitless after a lifetime of holding everything back. "No, I really love it. Thank you."

Natori smiled as his own eyes betrayed him by watering just a tad. He wrapped his own arms around Natsume in turn and brought him as close as he could.

"You're welcome."

After they were able to get a hold of themselves better, Natori helped put the bracelet on Natsume.

For awhile, Natsume just sat there and stared at it while periodically sniffling and wiping his nose with the back of his hand. Then he looked back up at Natori and smiled a genuine smile.

Natori had the strongest urge to just scoop Natsume up and kiss him. To just hold him and breathe him in and never let go.

He almost did too. He stopped himself at the last second though and instead bumped his nose against Natsume's cheek. Natsume laughed and asked, "What was that for?"

Natori shrugged and said, "Thought it suited the moment."

Natsume just laughed again and returned the favor. Natori had never wanted to kiss someone so bad in his entire life. He didn't although he did give himself a(n empty) promise that he would one day.

When they got themselves situated again, Natori could tell that it wouldn't be long before Natsume was sound asleep and snoring.

"Are you going to fall asleep on me, Natsume?" Quite literally actually, Natori thought but he felt slightly warmed by the idea of it.

"No," Natsume yawned. "I'm perfectly wide awake."

"Mhmm… in that case, me too. Feel like running a marathon."

The last sound he heard was Natsume huffing a laugh before he dropped off to sleep.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It was later that night when Momoka found her way back to the hotel room. The humans had graciously left the window open for her so she could slip in.

"How thoughtful," she sang.

"Ssssshhhhh!" something hissed from inside the room.

It was dark and Momoka couldn't see very well to begin with but she definitely knew who was hushing her.

"Fat cat… Why should I be quiet? It is a wonderful day and there should only be celebration because-"

"Pipe down! I mean it! The brat and Natsume are sleeping!" the demon whispered.

Momoka blinked and tried to really look around the dark room and there she found them. On the floor and happily entwined in each other's arms.

She could not believe how much good had happened the entire day and she was overcome with an urge to hop about and whistle "I told you so. I told you so," at the ridiculous humans that hadn't believed her.

But she kept all thoughts of the kind to herself and instead she carefully made her way over to Nyanko-sensei and settled herself down.

"Fat cat," she said. "How long have they been like that?"

"Ugh. Too long. You should have seen them. Gushing over each other. Mating habits of humans are one of the most confusing things about life I have ever encountered."

"But they are aware of their feelings for each other?"

"No. Not in the slightest. At least on Natsume's part. Can't really tell with Natori."

"What? How could they possibly…"

"Exactly. Human mating habits."

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The next morning, light shown through the window onto the two sleeping men on the hotel floor. Natsume was gently pulled from sleep and when he awoke he immediately found that his and Natori's nose were almost touching. Natori was slowly waking up as well and Natsume couldn't help but smile.

He hadn't felt so content and so safe since he first moved in with the Fujiwaras and those feelings had run their course quite quickly. When he first moved in, he at least felt safe from humans. The Fujiwaras were so nice and comforting. Touko's steady hand when she patted his head reminded him of a story his dad used to tell him about his mother. Shigeru's patient smile reminded him of a time his dad had gently scolded Natsume when he was a boy and was too reckless and fell and scraped his knee. Both of them together were rapidly beginning to feel like home for him. He couldn't ask for a better family.

But here he was with Natori. Natori Shuuichi. An actor who was an exorcist in his free time. A fake smile. A narcissist. Selfish, and a little idiotic.

He'd thought a lot of things about the actor when he first met him but none of them included one day he'd fall in love with this infuriating and perfect man or that he was so wrong about him.

Through their acquaintance, Natsume had felt that he began to understand who Natori really was.

Someone who pretended to use youkai but in fact cared for them deeply. A best friend that he wanted so much more from. A laugh that can smooth over any nerves or ruffle any feathers depending on his intention. Warm hands that Natsume knew held so much power that would send gentle shivers of pleasure through his body whenever they touched.

Even as he tried to paint an accurate picture of this man before him in his head, it was inadequate. Natori was so much more than anything he could ever come up with on his own.

He thought about last night. The nose-bump that Natori had given him on his cheek. For a second, Natsume had thought that Natori was going to kiss him. Natsume had realized this and would have accepted it without any tension or doubt. He trusted Natori like he's never trusted anybody since his father passed away.

He wanted Natori to kiss him. He wanted it while he laid there in Natori's arms and he had wanted it the night before. If someone wouldn't put some sense into his head, he would probably wanit it for the rest of his life.

He wanted Natori to hold his hand and tell him it'll be alright when he wasn't sure. He wanted Natori to be by Natori's side (at least as much as he could stand).

He wanted Natori to want all those things from Natsume.

_Maybe he does._

The thought came unbidden into his head. It was tempting and beautiful and Natsume can't remember wanting something more.

He tried to look at how they were tangled together, but when he couldn't move for fear of disturbing an almost waking Natori, he tried to feel how they were tangled together.

He felt one of Natori's arms resting on top of his waist and he felt the other being pinned down by the other side of his waist. One of Natori's legs was underneath one of Natsume's while Natsume's leg hooked over Natori's other leg.

_This isn't friendly. This isn't something friends do._

Natori had used the term "cuddling."

Friends don't really cuddle, do they?

Natsume thought to a few times where he stayed over with Nishimura or Kitamoto. They kicked each other in their sleep. They definitely didn't wake up tangled together in a cuddly knot and they were the best friends that Natsume knew about.

This was romantic.

Natsume didn't panic or tense or freak out like he probably would've done before Natori had called him up in his home about a month ago and offered him the stunt double job. He remained calm and made a decision.

Natori slowly woke up.

When his eyes finally focused on Natsume, the actor's lips twisted up in a smile.

Natsume returned the smile and looked into Natori's eyes to find any indication that he was wrong.

He couldn't find any.

As quickly as he dared, Natsume reached up one hand and cupped Natori's face.

Natsume saw just a hint of confusion in Natori's eyes just before he closed his own.

He leaned in.

And kissed him.


	25. Chapter 25

_**So not as long a wait as last time. See? I'm getting better. Anyway thanks everyone for reviewing and favoriting and just generally being way to awesome for me to handle. You guys are the best. Seriously. Please enjoy! I must warn you a bit though. This chapter's a bit angsty.**_

Warm and soft.

That's all Natori could think for awhile. That's all he wanted to think about.

Just warm and soft and Natsume.

Natori's brain shut off with a virtually audible click as his eyes fluttered closed so he could just feel.

Natsume's lips were pressed gently against his own. Not moving, not doing much of anything except being there. It was just a gentle touch but it enraptured him.

The kiss and Natsume's tender hand on his cheek were coaxing warmth to his face that probably left him flushed. Natori didn't even care. He couldn't care less about anything really. Granted he completely forgot about everything else but if he did remember anything then he probably wouldn't care about those things anyway.

Natori took his hand that was resting on Natsume's waist and pushed it up and back enjoying the feeling of warm cloth with a warm body underneath.

Natsume's breath hitched.

Natori smiled at the sound.

But then Natori's brain switched back on with a vengeance.

_This is Natsume. This is real. It's not one of your screwed up fantasy dreams, Natori. Natsume is kissing you. What? Why is this happening? What happened? Is this really Natsume? It couldn't be. Natsume would never do this? Is this a youkai? Is he under some kind of spell? What the hell is going on?_

Natori pulled himself away with a jerk. He stared at Natsume and Natsume stared back.

Natsume blushed a little. There was a hint of hesitance in his eyes but otherwise he just looked happy. He was smiling his precious little smile.

Natori for the life of him couldn't wrap his brain around it.

"Natsume…" he said after awhile. "What… What in the world…?"

And just like that, Natsume seemed to shut down. His smile fell off his face and the look of hesitance turned into acute awkward discomfort. Natsume snatched his hand away from Natori's face.

"I…" Natsume whispered. "I'm sorry. I… I thought…"

The poor boy looked away but not before Natori saw his eyes water over with tears.

_No. Nononononononononononono! Natsume crying is bad. That's bad. He probably feels so embarrassed! Oh god! What do I do?_

_Help him understand that I'm not angry? That I in fact enjoyed it? But he doesn't need to know that. It was a mistake, obviously. Right? He wouldn't have reacted like this otherwise, right? Just an honest simple mistake._

"It's okay, Natsume," Natori said after awhile. He didn't really know what he was saying but he needed to say something or else Natsume will cry and that's the last thing he wanted.

"I… Sometimes, when you're half awake, you do weird things?"

Natsume flinched at the word weird. _Damn. Wrong choice of words_.

Before Natori could say anything else, Natsume disentangled himself from Natori and said, "Yeah. That's what it was. I was… um, dreaming, I guess. Sorry…"

Natsume stood up and murmured, "I'm going to take a shower."

"I… okay," Natori said weakly as Natsume walked away. What else was there to say?

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Natsume practically ran into the bathroom, shut the door, stripped (making sure that his leather bracelet was safe from any water as he placed it carefully on the sink), stepped into the shower, closed the shower door, turned the faucet on as hot as it would go, and cried.

His eyes stung, his throat closed up and was sore, and his chest hurt.

Shame burned in his heart and frustration burned behind his eyes.

_Stupid, _his mind chanted at him. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid._

What had he been thinking? Kissing Natori like that? Just out of the blue? What was wrong with him? Of course Natori wouldn't want to kiss him. Why had he even thought that?

He'd just felt so safe and warm and at ease. He shouldn't have let that feeling carry over into something that would even be considered appropriate to act on. Because it wasn't. At all.

Natsume wiped water and tears from his eyes as he considered that it could have gone worse. After all, Miyu got cursed and yelled at for just telling Yukiko that she liked her. He had just skipped the part where they talked about Natsume's feelings and he just went ahead and kissed him. That had to be worse than just talking about it right?

But Natori had such a shocked, no, horrified expression on his face when he asked Natsume what was going on. Natori was probably disgusted when he realized Natsume was kissing him. But even then, Natori didn't yell at him or tell him to get out or anything like that. Natori had tried to be understanding.

But kisses are personal things and Natsume just took one just because he thought Natori might have wanted to kiss him too. But it was obvious that Natori didn't. Which was fine. Natori could kiss or not kiss anyone he wanted to.

It just hurt when he kissed someone else. Natsume thought back to the many times that Natori had to kiss Yukiko for the movie. He thought about how today, they were supposed to shoot the ending scene where the couple, happily reunited, claim each other's lips in a kiss and then the camera pans out and the audience is left to believe that the two will stay together for the rest of their days as deeply and completely in love as they were in the final frames of the film.

And as much as Natsume thought it was selfish and how much he wanted Natori to be happy, he wanted that.

He wanted that happy ending.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

For awhile, Natori just stared at the door that Natsume disappeared behind.

What had just happened?

Obviously Natsume had kissed him. Natori was still half-asleep and thought that he could have been dreaming. But then he realized that he wasn't. So he stopped kissing Natsume and had asked what was going on and Natsume had shut down.

It had to… no it… what?

His mind couldn't continue on one track of thought for long before it derailed and found another track to go on. His thoughts were a jumbled mess and he didn't know what to do.

It couldn't be possible that-

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"

Natori looked and saw Momoka fly toward him like a speeding bullet. Streamlined and angry.

She hit him right between the eyes and he reeled back. When he recovered he could feel Momoka bouncing on his head and really pulling at his hair.

"Humans!" she shrieked. "I knew they were stupid. Stupid stupid humans. I knew it! Why? Why, stupid human? Crocodile-smile human? Why did you break Natsume's heart? Natsume is only kind and good and helpful. Natsume needs-deserves to be kind to. To be good to. To be helpful to. Why are you not kind or good or helpful to him?"

"Owowowowow! Momoka! Stop!" Natori shouted. He tried to use his hands in order to bat Momoka away but she was able to maneuver away from any flailing hands that could come her way.

"No! I will not stop until you kiss Natsume again and tell him that you are stupid and that you misunderstood. Because that is what you are. A stupid misunderstanding human!"

"I didn't misunderstand. Don't you get it?"

"NO! You do misunderstand. And because of that Natsume misunderstands. Only you can make him not misunderstand! Now go and make him understand!"

"He's showering right now!"

"So go in and 'shower' with him!"

Natori heard a harrumph from the other side of the room and he sighed.

"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't put in your two cents, kitty."

"Fine," said the demon. "I'll just go and check on Natsume."

The cat waddled off and disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Natori was left with an angry Momoka until his phone rang.

He checked the caller id and found that it was Endo.

"Endo. Now's not a good time," Natori answered.

"You're late. Just get over here. Bring Natsume too if you can…" was Endo's reply.

Natori was suddenly struck with a feeling of unease.

"Endo, forgive me for being blunt but normally you would be ripping my head off now. I'm late and you want Natsume and not "princess" to be on set? What's going on? Something wrong?"

Endo sighed wearily. "You know, how Yukiko said these past couple weeks that she's going to leave?"

Natori scoffed. "Is she saying that again? Don't worry about it, Endo. She's not going to do it. She's just threatening everyone so that we do what she wants. Nothing major. Just get her an iced tea and she'll calm down."

"No, Natori, listen to me. She left. She's gone."

Natori tried to say something multiple times but all that came out was strangled stutters. Then when he was finally able to articulate clearly he said, "Are you sure?"

"Positive. We searched her trailer, her hotel suite, we checked in with her manager and she said that she was told by Yukiko to book her a flight to the states that left at six am this morning. So our lead actress is long gone and we have one last scene to shoot."

Natori could feel the dread sinking in. "And by bring Natsume you mean…?" He knew the answer he just sincerely hoped he was wrong.

"I mean that, it's one scene Natori. The boy's not an actor but he looks so much like Yukiko no one will know the difference. And I think that since it's you, he'll be more comfortable and could possibly pull it off."

Natori's heart clenched with guilt at the thought that maybe that wouldn't be quite true anymore.

"What about other actresses? Can't we find someone else? Just for the last scene? Someone else that looks like her?"

"I've tried a few other actresses. Some of them didn't pick up and others said they wouldn't be able to get here in time for the deadline."

There was a pause.

"Natori, I know you want to protect the boy. I know that you're scared about your feelings for him but if this movie doesn't make it through, we all lose. We lose money, we've wasted this entire summer to shoot the damn thing… just please, Natori. At least talk to him about it. I'm begging you."

Natori nodded deciding not to touch the "feelings" comment with a ten foot pole. "Okay. One condition."

"What's that?"

"If I talk to him about it, you have to pay him. Whether he does it or not."

"I'll think about it-"

"No, Endo. You pay him regardless of what happens. He didn't have to come out and do this for us. Do any of it. He came because we needed help and that's it. And it's hard work that he does. Pay him."

"…alright."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Nyanko-sensei walked into the bathroom and heard Natsume crying.

His heart gave a little lurch in response but he ignored it and instead grunted, "Natsume. You should stop that. It's really pathetic."

Natsume gasped which might have been able to be interpreted as a laugh if one didn't know that the poor boy was crying.

"I know. I know. I just… It's so stupid. I shouldn't be reacting like this."

"The interesting things that I've learned about humans, Natsume, is that they often don't do what they should. Especially you, you brat. And besides… with things like these there's no 'should' about them."

The shower stopped and Natsume got out and grabbed a towel and started to dry himself off.

Nyanko-sensei saw that he at least succeeded in making the human smile. At least a little.

"Nyanko-sensei…" Natsume said after awhile.

"What?"

"How… how do I face him after all this? It's so embarrassing. I never- I never did that before. I don't think I've ever felt like this about anyone before and to know for certain that they don't feel the same… I just-"

"How do you know he doesn't feel the same?"

That seemed to throw Natsume.

"What do you mean 'how do I know'? He obviously didn't want to kiss me and he said that we do 'weird' things when we're half-asleep. Me kissing him was weird and he's right. It was weird."

"No, Natsume. He's the one that made it weird. His head is so far up his own ass that he doesn't see it. But you do, don't you?"

Natsume thought back to this morning when he had been so sure that it was right. That kissing Natori was right. That the two of them together was right.

But that wasn't true anymore.

"Nyanko-sensei, maybe I'm seeing something that isn't there. Or maybe I want it to be there so bad I'm starting to make things up or see things… and I…"

Natsume could feel his throat close up again and couldn't say another word.

"Natsume," Nyanko-sensei said. "look for it again. If you can't find it again then it was probably a fluke. But if you do find it again then it wasn't."

Natsume nodded. He was agreeing. He wanted this more than he's ever wanted anything for awhile. He'd give it as many chances as he could. He'd leave any and all possibilities open except for losing Natori's friendship if that was all he could ever have.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Natori was sitting on his bed. Momoka was now gently pulling at his hair trying to convince him that shooting the scene with Natsume was a wonderful idea and should have been the case all along.

"Don't you see?" she said. "Natsume will of course accept because he loves you and then that will be your proof, you silly human. The proof of Natsume's love for you. And you kissing him will of course be proof to him that you return his feelings of love and devotion."

Her voice took on a dreamy quality as she said, "And then you will just know that the other is right for you. And you will want to get married and be making the love all over the world."

Natori had his head in his hands and he tried not to think about asking Natsume to do the scene as a test. A test that could determine once and for all if Natsume felt the same way about him as he did about Natsume.

But that wasn't what this was. It couldn't be. Just because Natsume may not want to kiss Natori on set does not mean that he wouldn't kiss him ever.

But Natori was reminded by his mind, in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Momoka, that it shouldn't matter. If Natsume did feel the same then he would jump at the chance, wouldn't he?

If the positions were switched, Natori would definitely take the chance. And now that he had just a taste of what it would be like to be loved by Natsume, he would embrace it like a long lost friend.

Natori looked up when he heard the door to the bathroom open. Natsume wore a bathrobe and had a towel around his shoulders. He was flushed pink from the shower and Natori briefly forgot why he was so distressed.

Natsume looked back at him like he was searching for something. For what, Natori had no idea but if Natsume wasn't going to be awkward or weird about this then neither was he.

Momoka fluttered over and landed on Natsume's shoulder looking incredibly pleased with herself. "Natsume. Natsume. Crocodile-smile human has something to ask you," she sang.

Natsume's eyes widened for a split second but then returned to their normal size as he trained a look at Natori. His face was unreadable. Natori wished that there was some kind of emotion there. Anything that would give Natori any idea as to whether asking him would be a fantastic idea or the worst he's ever had.

"Natsume," Natori began. "Endo just called."

There was a beat of silence. Natsume gave him a hesitant smile. "Is he yelling for us?"

Natori returned the smile although there was a pit of worry growing in his stomach.

"Um, not exactly," Natori said. "Apparently, Yukiko followed through on her threats to leave this time and is probably half way to the States right now."

Natsume's brow furrowed. "What? How…? Why?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. So we have one more scene to shoot and no lead actress to play the lead heroine for it."

At this point, Natsume searched Natori's face for something again. Like he was trying to put a puzzle together.

"What are we going to do?" Natsume asked.

Natori sighed. For the first time in his life, he wanted to look away from Natsume. He was so afraid that Natsume wouldn't find what he was looking for. That the lack of whatever Natsume was searching for would drive him away. He was scared that he didn't know what Natsume was thinking. He didn't know how close Natsume was to leaving him and that just one extra little push would be enough. And if it wasn't today then it might be tomorrow or the day after that.

"I don't know," he finally answered. "Endo wants you to fill in for Yukiko for the last scene. Is…"

Natori could feel his voice beginning to crack. He cleared his throat and swallowed. "Is that something you'd be willing to do?"

Natsume's eyes widened and his jaw became slack. His face reddened. Natori didn't know how long they stood like that looking at each other.

When Natsume began to speak again, it was quiet and tentative and also a little rough.

"You mean… instead of Yukiko doing the last scene… it would be me?"

There was a pause.

"Yes."

"And I would dress up as the main character and I'd be doing the last scene with you?"

"Yes."

"The scene where the characters are supposed to kiss?"

"…yes."

Natori could see Natsume's answer before he said anything. The boy just looked so upset. He was clutching at the towel around his neck and shaking a little bit.

Natori tried his best to ignore the sting in his chest like someone had pierced his heart with a fire iron. He tried to ignore how the back of his throat closed up and his eyes began to hurt. His vision blurred and that was that.

He pulled Natsume into a hug so that the boy wouldn't see the tears in his eyes.

"You don't have to, Natsume. It's alright. Whatever you want. No matter what, I'm here for you, okay? No matter what. Nothing's wrong with not doing what you don't want to do. You shouldn't have to feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do. And I'll be the first. To make sure you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Natori could tell he was babbling. It was really only about three-quarters for Natsume. The rest was for himself.

He shouldn't care whether or not Natsume loved him back or wanted to kiss him or do anything that other couples did. He should care whether or not Natsume was happy. Happy and smiling and not upset.

It didn't matter.

It didn't.

Then why did he feel so rotten?

_**A bit of angst for your Sunday afternoon. I'm a terrible person. But thank you guys so much for reading and please tell me what you think if you're so inclined. *kisses***_


	26. Chapter 26

_**Hello, everyone! Um... Surprise! I bet you guys were worried I wouldn't update. Weren't ya? It's okay. You can tell me. But I have arisen from the depths of not writing to bring you an update! There will probably be only one more update. It'll be an epilogue of sorts. Anyway please enjoy Chapter 26!**_

"Natori, glad you could make it. What did Natsume say?"

Just the name alone was enough to bid memories to come to the surface. Specifically, everything that happened this morning. It wasn't pleasant.

"He…" _He didn't want to come. He didn't say it but he definitely didn't want to. If I would've left him alone and I hadn't assured him he didn't have to do it, he probably would've. I'd never forgive myself if I let that happened. I can't ever forgive myself for not letting it happen._

"He said no. He didn't want to do it," Natori said looking at the floor. His hands were in his pockets. He kept them there, afraid what they might do if he freed them.

He heard Endo sigh. "Well, that's that then."

If it had been any other situation, Natori might have reacted more. He probably would've ranted and raved at Endo for letting their lead actress take off. He probably would've called his agent and discussed how unhappy he was with her for even suggesting this bound-to-fail project. He would've called his publicist and told her that he really wasn't responsible for what he would let slip out in regards to Yukiko after today.

But given the situation, he just didn't care. He just wanted to go home and forget about this… whole thing… The project. The script. The hotel room. The cake. The birthday party. Just this… what? Nightmare? Most of it was too sweet to be a nightmare. Dream, then.

Just a terribly tragic dream.

"Natori?" Endo called.

"Yes, Endo?" Natori said without looking at him. He was watching the costume designer look through a rack of clothes.

"… did something happen? Between you two? Is that why Natsume won't do the scene?"

Natori fixed a steely glare at Endo. "No, Endo. Nothing happened. Not that it's any of your goddamn business but nothing happened. Absolutely nothing."

"No need to be so goddamn touchy, Natori. Jesus."

Natori just continued to glare at Endo before he let out bitter laugh. "You would not be saying that to me if you even had one goddamn clue, Endo."

Endo just turned and stared at him. Mouth open and eyes wide.

After a few beats of silence, Natori sighed and tried to reign in his emotions. Again. He was getting so tired of doing that lately. He asked, "What do we do now?"

Endo rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. "We either wait and see if any of the actresses I've contacted get back to us or I convince the writers that we can't do the last scene and have them come up with a different ending where it's just you. Or we wait until the deadline and the project is cancelled."

Endo sat down in the nearest chair and didn't move for awhile. He just kept rubbing the back of his neck and looking at his lap.

"There's not a whole lot we can do right now. Why don't you go back to the hotel… maybe you could-"

"If you're going to tell me to try and convince Natsume to reconsider, I will seriously consider the possibility of punching you in the face."

Endo shut his mouth with an audible click.

"Good," Natori said.

He turned and walked out of the studio not knowing what to expect in terms of his and Natsume's relationship. Had it changed? He hadn't really stuck around to find out.

After Natori had assured Natsume that he didn't have to do the scene if he didn't want to, Natori disentangled himself when he was sure he wasn't going to break down in front of Natsume. He smiled as convincingly as he could while giving Natsume's shoulder a couple pats. Then he turned and quickly got dressed and then left the hotel room in a flurry of movement.

They needed to talk about this morning more in depth. Natori sensed that there was something else to the whole thing. Something deeper. He didn't want to get his hopes up though. He didn't think he'd be able to recover if he built himself up only to be knocked down again.

:::::::::::::::::::::::

As soon as Natori left, Momoka had her feathers all ruffled up and she shrieked angrily.

"Humans are so stupid. Why don't either of you see? You love each other so much you won't even admit it to one another."

Natsume just stood in the middle of the room trying to suss out if Natori could actually have the kind of feelings for him as he had for Natori.

"Am I reading too much into things?" Natsume said out loud to no one in particular.

Momoka whirled toward Natsume and said, "You do not read enough into things. Why would you say no? Why would you not want to kiss Natori in 'shooting the scene'? Now he thinks you do not want to kiss him. But you do want to kiss him because you love him!"

Natsume smiled at Momoka. It wasn't a bright smile and it was a little sad. He held out a finger for her to perch on. Momoka fluttered and settled herself onto his index finger feeling less angry now. Only sad.

"Why don't you want to be happy, Natsume-sama?"

Natsume looked away from her and said, "It's not that I don't want to be happy. I do. I also want Natori-san to be happy. I want everyone to be happy… but this isn't the way to do it."

"Why not?" Momoka asked. Her voice broke. She looked about ready to cry. Whether from defeat or frustration Natsume couldn't tell.

Natsume's heart wrenched for her. She was just doing her best to help him. She sincerely wanted to see him happy and together with the person he loved.

"It would be pretend. It wouldn't be real. It would only be real to me. Trying to make something out of a kiss that was staged isn't the way to go about a romance."

Momoka blinked and tears started running from her eyes.

Natsume leaned down and pressed a kiss against her tiny head.

"Please don't cry, Momoka. I'm so grateful to have a friend like you."

Momoka looked up at him and smiled. Then she said to him, "Just tell him."

Natsume considered it for a little and figured Natori was going to ask him about the kiss this morning anyway. Might as well tell him then.

"I will, Momoka."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Natori arrived back at the hotel a little later.

When he opened the door, Natsume was sitting in the middle of the floor cradling an unhappy Momoka to his chest.

Momoka heard him come in and shot a glare at him.

He smiled apologetically and then looked up at Natsume. Natsume was watching him with a gentle smile.

Natori returned the smile as best he could. The only thing he could think about in that moment was "I love him. He deserves to be happy. I love him. He deserves to be happy," repeating over and over again like a broken record.

Natsume turned to Momoka and said, "Momoka, do you mind if you could give us a few minutes?"

Momoka gave Natsume a meaningful look then shot a glare at Natori. Without another word, Momoka took off. Natori couldn't help but feel a distinct prick of dread.

"Natsume," Natori began hastily. "You don't need to say anything. I get it. I do."

Natsume looked at Natori and that look stopped him short. Well, it was more like he searched him. It didn't move across his body. It was stationary and it was trained directly into his eyes.

"I don't think you do. Not really, anyway."

"What… what do you mean?"

Natsume began to blush but his gaze didn't waver. It did seem like he desperately wanted to look away and not have this conversation however. His hands twitched and fidgeted.

After a moment of holding his gaze, Natsume did look away. Toward the direction that Momoka flew off in. He clenched his hands and returned his gaze to Natori.

"Do you remember when Jenny came and taught us all to dance?"

Natori nodded slowly and not quite understanding where this conversation was headed. "Yes."

"And remember when you told me that you two used to work together and be really close friends? But you avoided her because she thought that you had feelings for her because of the kiss for that commercial. But it wasn't that you had feelings for her. It was that she was letting her own feelings cloud her judgment and that those feelings led to her seeing something that wasn't there."

Natori felt his heart speed up. He was also getting really hot. Was it always this hot in here?

"Um, yes, I remember, but, Natsume, what –?" Natori started but Natsume soon cut him off.

"You also told me that you should never take an actor seriously when he's on stage or when there's cameras around. You said that someone who can't or won't accept that has no place acting. It's not acting unless it's pretend. And…"

Natsume was shaking by this point. He took a deep breath in then out. He was trying to calm himself down but to apparently no avail. Eventually Natsume just clenched his fists at his sides and looked Natori dead in the eye.

Natori felt frozen. Time had stopped. The world had stopped spinning. He didn't know why at the time but he felt that his whole world was hanging on whatever Natsume was going to say. His world had gotten knocked off its axis and only the next few words from Natsume would put it right again.

When Natsume finally spoke, Natori felt his knees weaken and about to buckle.

"…it wouldn't have been pretend for me."

Natori's heartbeat quickened. It got to the point where Natori would've been afraid he was getting a heart attack if he wasn't so preoccupied with what Natsume had just said to him.

Not pretend? The scene wouldn't have been pretend? The scene with the kiss? The scene wouldn't have been pretend? The kiss wouldn't have been pretend? The kiss…

Natori reached out a hand and clutched at whatever was closest which was apparently Natsume's forearm. He felt real. This felt real. Even if it wasn't, fuck it.

"What do you mean it wouldn't be pretend Natsume?"

Natori didn't know what expression he had on. He just hoped that it was full of relief and happiness. Full of everything good about their relationship. The trust, the friendship, the teasing and love. Most of all love. Definitely love.

Natsume was looking at him with an expression he hoped to have on his own face. That look made him feel like he was the sun and the stars and the moon and the whole world and just as beautiful too. He was a miracle and a blessing. He was a cool breeze that gave him reprieve from the blistering heat of the world.

Natori wanted to make Natsume feel like that.

Natsume smiled as he opened his mouth. His eyes clouded over with tears as he said the one phrase that Natori has been dreaming about for ages.

"I love you, Natori-san."

And Natori dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around Natsume's waist and pulled him closer. He rested his forehead against the boy's stomach.

He wasn't going to cry. He absolutely wasn't going to cry.

He let out a sob.

Dammit.

"Natori-san," Natsume said. It sounded like he didn't know whether to be incredibly happy about this new physical attention that Natori was giving him or be extremely worried that Natori had just buckled like that. Natsume rested his hands on Natori's shoulders and Natori sighed at the contact.

"I love you, Natsume," Natori said into his stomach. He couldn't get up. Even if he wanted to he was quite happy with their position right at that moment.

"I love you so much. I don't even remember when I started to fall for you. I just think back and all the time we've spent together I probably loved you."

There was a pause.

"So we loved each other this whole time?" Natsume asked.

"Yes," he replied.

Then Natsume laughed. Natori looked up at Natsume and saw him wipe at his eyes.

"Natsume, what –?"

"So Momoka was right? I think I owe her an apology."

Natori smirked up at him. "You and me both."

They laughed together and Natori went back to nuzzling Natsume's stomach. After awhile, Natsume asked, "Natori-san?"

"Yes, Natsume?"

"Um… do you think you're going to stand up anytime soon?"

Natori, thinking that Natsume just wanted to get him off, said, "No, I'm quite happy down here. Don't think I could get up even if I tried though."

Natsume sighed. "Well, that's too bad. I was thinking that if you'd just stand up then maybe…" he trailed off.

Natori looked back up at Natsume and said, "'Maybe' what?"

Natsume shrugged but couldn't keep that guilty smile he got when he tried to tease to slip on his face. "Well it doesn't matter either way, right? Because you couldn't get up even if you tried?"

"That's right," he said. "But what were you thinking?"

"Well." Natsume tapped his chin thoughtfully but Natori saw through that in a second.

"I'll bite that finger off if you don't tell me," Natori warned.

"No, you wouldn't."

"Oh, yes, I would."

Natsume just laughed. It was the kind of laugh you let out if and only if you're incredibly, unspeakably, belligerently, and deliriously happy. Natori's heart melted and he clutched Natsume closer still.

But as soon as he felt Natori clutch him closer, Natsume began to try and wriggle free. Natori put up a show of struggling until he finally let him go, wanting to see what he'd do.

Natsume giggled and stumbled all the while saying, "You can't bite my finger off if you can't catch me!"

Natori smiled for a split second before he put on a dramatically hurt expression. "But, Natsume, how am I ever supposed to find my legs again after such a heartfelt confession of love? I may never walk again, Natsume. I guess you'll just have to take care of me for the rest of your life, won't you?"

Natsume scoffed. "I already have to take care of you, old man."

Natori gasped. "Natsume, you're not supposed to talk to your one and only true love like that. You're supposed to call me 'honey' and 'baby.' Don't you know anything about romance?"

Natsume shook his head. "Nope."

Natori sighed dramatically. "Then you leave me no choice, Natsume."

He slowly pushed his knee out and planted his foot on the ground. He put both hands on the ground and pushed himself up so it looked like he was a runner on his mark at the beginning of a race.

Natsume looked at him like he'd just done a miracle.

Natori then pushed off the ground and chased after Natsume who was desperately running away and giggling the whole time.

"No!" Natsume shouted.

"Yes!" Natori shouted in turn.

They ran around the room and it wasn't until Natsume almost knocked over a lamp that Natori was able to catch him.

He caught him around the waist and hauled him up.

"Now give me your finger!" Natori said as he tried to bite at Natsume's hands.

Natsume was laughing and snatching his hands away just as Natori was about to bite him until Natori actually was able to get him on his thumb. Natsume still snatched his hand away and said, "Gross!"

Natori laughed. "Aren't you glad you fell for me?"

He meant it as a half-tease but when he looked in Natsume's eyes he found that he really wanted to know the answer.

Natsume seemed to take the question just as seriously and he said, "Yes."

"Natsume…"

But Natsume wasn't done. What he said next was sort of rushed but painfully earnest, almost as if he wanted to get these feelings out before he realized what he was doing and got too self-conscious to say any more.

"I… I think you're amazing. You're able to balance your acting job and your exorcist job really well. You're amazing at both jobs. I like your smile. You're always there for me. You're willing to listen to me. You make me feel really good about myself. At first, I didn't know what to think or do about these feelings. I didn't want to inconvenience you. I thought that I knew how that confession would've gone if I ever actually did try and confess to you. You'd probably be shocked and you'd politely turn me down. But I was wrong. I've never been happier to be so wrong."

Natsume was blushing and had his arms wrapped around Natori's neck.

Before Natori could stop himself, he could only think of one thing to say to that.

"Am I handsome?"

Natsume didn't seem to be expecting that question as he said, "What?"

"Is that one of the reasons that you love me? Because I'm handsome?"

After a few beats of silence, Natsume laughed.

"Yes. That is also one of the reasons that I love you."

Natori couldn't help but laugh along too.

"Do you want to know why I love you?"

Natsume nodded vigorously.

Natori rested his forehead against Natsume's as he spoke.

"You are the kindest person I have ever met. Sometimes it frustrates me to no end but other times I have to hold myself back from just wrapping my arms around you and never letting go. You're smart. You're funny. You're… God, you're perfect, Natsume. Aaannd… you're very handsome. I'd say beautiful if I weren't afraid you were going to kick my ass for it."

Natsume giggled but tears were leaking out of his eyes. He brushed them away with one of his hands as he muttered an apology.

"Don't," Natori said. "Don't apologize for that, Natsume."

"Okay," he muttered.

Natori had an urge to kiss Natsume on the cheek and instinctively held himself back. Then he caught himself. He could actually kiss Natsume though… right? Yeah.

"Hey, Natsume?" he said.

"Yeah?" Natsume answered.

"I want to kiss you now… if that's okay."

Natsume blushed and fidgeted with his hands. "Um… okay. That's what I wanted to do before too."

Natori smiled. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

They inched a little closer to each other.

"Alright, then."

"Uh-huh."

A little closer.

"Here I go."

Natsume laughed.

"I'm gonna kiss you now."

"Okay."

"Um, Natsume?"

"Yeah?"

A little closer still.

"If you want to stop, just say so, okay?"

Natsume looked a bit confused but nonetheless happy. "Okay."

"So –"

Natori was cut off as Natsume seemed tired of waiting. He grabbed Natori's shirt collar and yanked him until their lips clashed in an awkward kiss. It got a little better once they were able to compensate for noses. Natsume was happy to leave his hands where they were while Natori couldn't pass up the chance to explore. One of his hands rested on the small of Natsume's back while the other came up to rest on the back of Natsume's neck.

Natsume was a little tense. His lips and his body not really moving.

Natori pulled back a little so he could look at Natsume. "Hey, relax. I'm not going to bite or anything." _Not until later anyway._

Natsume nodded and seemed really determined to get this right. Natori gave him a smile and leaned back in.

Natsume still remained a little tense until Natori rubbed soothing circles into the boy's neck with his thumb. Then Natsume relaxed a little more.

Once Natsume was relaxed and ready to enjoy himself, Natori began gently moving his lips against Natsume's. Natsume made a questioning sound in the back of his throat. When Natori tried to lean back away from the kiss and ask Natsume what was wrong, Natsume held him there with a steady grip that his skinny stature belied.

Natori couldn't help but smile.

It wasn't long after that Natsume tentatively kissed back. Natori encouraged him with pleased sighs and hums. He nearly let out something far dirtier when Natsume moved one of his hands from Natori's collar up the nape of his neck but was interrupted by a familiarly grating voice.

"Finally!" the voice said. "But you two better cut that out quick. Natsume, get me some food."

They both turned to see Nyanko-sensei sitting on the window sill with a look of perpetual boredom.

Natori was annoyed at the intrusion and also the rudeness of the remark but Natsume just laughed.

Then he ran over and picked Nyanko-sensei up and hugged him close. Nyanko-sensei freaked out yelling, "Unhand me, you brat! I am the great Madara! Don't you touch me!"

Natsume mumbled something to him and the cat calmed down almost instantly. Natori was content to just stand there until Natsume glanced at him and gave him a smile. Natori took it as an invitation to join in and he couldn't resist. Natori bounded over and wrapped both Natsume and his cat familiar up in his arms. Nyanko-sensei began to squawk his protest again.

"Hey, Natori-san?" Natsume asked.

"Yes, Natsume?"

"I think I'll be able to do the scene now. I mean, since we've already kissed. And it wouldn't be pretend anyway, right?"

Natori stopped. He thought about it. He considered the drop in his stomach at Natsume's words. Then shook his head.

"If it's all the same to you, Natsume, I'd rather keep these kinds of moments to ourselves."

Natsume blushed and smiled but still felt he had to push the subject once more.

"But what about the movie? Won't it not get finished? And then everyone would lose a lot of money? And –" Natsume was interrupted when Natori kissed his cheek.

"I really couldn't care less about all that, Natsume. As far as I'm concerned, this –" – he kissed Natsume on the lips, short, warm, and sweet – "is just between us."

Nyanko-sensei renewed his protestations with vigor. "Unhand me, you brat! I will not subject myself to this torture any longer!" With that he wriggled free from between them and waddled away to sulk in a corner.

Natsume and Natori didn't pay him any mind. They were too busy gazing into each other's eyes and being altogether a very disgustingly lovey-dovey couple.

**_So there you have it my lovelies! Once again, I'd just like to thank everyone for supporting this story by reviewing and favoriting and subscribing! Every one of those things makes a huge difference for me and I love seeing them in my email. So thank you everyone! Hopefully I'll be able to get the next one to you soon. *kisses*_**


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